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Author Topic: God Bless You  (Read 5336 times)

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Craig

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God Bless You
« on: February 06, 2012, 11:23:53 AM »

Ray, saddened to hear about your health situation and pain.  I've not learned to pray very well, but you are never far back in my thoughts, and I meditate on the Truth you've introduced to me much of the time.  Though I only met you briefly in Nashville '08, of all the people I have encountered since coming to believe the Gospel, I feel the most 'affinity' with you.  I relate very much to your 'testimony', the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly.  The only differences I see between your life thus far and mine are in degree and detail.  Thanks for your honesty and for being my big brother.
 
I wanted to tell you something that may cheer you some.
 
I was not seeking an answer to a bible-question when I first saw a google ad for BT.  I was near the end of my rope in cynicism and depression.  I was a horrible sinner in ways that would disqualify me for the Kingdom.  I was living as if there were no God, and in what remained of my Baptist youth 'theology', I was for all practical purposes an agnostic.  Even the 'bit' of God that remained, I didn't care much for, and was resigned to whatever happened in the after-life, even if it meant Hell.
 
I was actually on a website not devoted to scripture or religious or spiritual things at all--in fact, it was for sinners and how to sin more efficiently--but there were enough comments, I guess, that signaled google to drop an ad or two.  I was depressed and bored, so I clicked the link to come and laugh at you for a few minutes...sort of a "Saul-light" on the road to Damascus.  Smile  I didn't want to 'persecute you'.  I was too lazy and cynical to have shot you a nasty email, but maybe you get the picture.
 
Anwyway, I glanced over the topic headings and was sure by then you were some sort of crank and heretic with an 'angle' and too much time of his hands.  But the letters to Kennedy and Hagee caught my eye, because I had no great love for televangelists.  I started reading.  It took just a few minutes before I knew I was reading the Truth from Scripture.  It was as if God had so perfectly prepared me--even in my situation, and out of my religious past--to believe.  Before the sun came up, I was a believer.  I was up all night and most of the next day devouring everything, still drinking it all down like a man crawling out of the sahara after 20 years.  I'm not perfect and neither is my understanding, but it has never stopped since--at least not for long.
 
It's wonderful (when it's not terrible) to see our lives in Scripture.  I can't tell you how many times and how many ways that's happened in the last four years.  It's not slowing down--it's escalating like the expansion of the Universe.  The one I do want to share is this:  I 'experienced' that night the sovereignty of God and the fallacy of 'free-will'.  Despite what I came to do, had every intention of doing, and wanted to do--mock you--I could not.  I didn't even know what I was seeking (except a few minutes of entertainment) but I found it.  Still am.
 
I must admit, though, that it took me more than one night to actually LIKE you.  Smile
 
There are other 'examples' that have so clearly taught me that God is in control, but some are on the dark-side of the equation, and this is meant to cheer you. 
 
I hope it did.  Love to you and Manuela always.
 
Dave     
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