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octoberose:
I know some of you have children who don't believe as we believe about God and His Sovereignty, but maybe as I do, you have a child who is hostile toward God in every way. A child who has every gift except faith. A child that breaks your heart. So, I'm asking, what do you do? We wait on God to do as He will, but what do you do with this heartache? What do you do when you know death will be a welcome rest from this terrible loss, but in the mean time you have a life that to live for years and years watching that child live this sad life? I pray and pray for God to intervene, but He is making my son more hostile to Him. How do God's people feel and behave and work with broken hearts? That's what I'm asking.

arion:
Others will give much better answers than I will but if you believe that God is sovereign, if you believe that God loves your son more than you do and has a plan for his life which includes a rebellious spirit right now, if you believe the scriptures that in the end God will save your child and all will be well, then what are you fretting about?

I realize the heartache that comes with a wayward son.  We all are lost sheep and the shepherd will find each and every one of us in his time.  It's difficult to watch a child make bad choice after bad choice and become more and more miserable but for some of us God takes us all the way to the bottom before we are given a heart to desire his intervention.  I know your praying for him but if your also preaching to him then that probably needs to stop.  I don't think your praying for him makes him hostile as much as your attitude towards him which is reflected in how you deal with him.  I know it's easier said than done to 'Let go and let God' but for your peace of mind you probably need to do so.

If I didn't believe or understand the truths we are learning here I probably would be a typical wringing my hands parent.  On the other hand if I believe that God will get my son where he needs to be in His [God's] timing then it is enough.  I think in that case I would just stand back and let God work in him and perhaps in time your son will come to you and ask you about the hope that is within you.

doug:
Octoberose -

A BIG "ditto" for what Arion had to say to you.

If it be any consolation to you...  there are many... many people in this world who have and or are now experiencing the exact "heartbreak" that you are experiencing.  And to a mother of a wayward child, I know that you experience the pain more than that of a dad.  But, nonetheless, I can empathise with you.

With my second son whom I was just getting to bond with he was taken away from me at an early age.  We both decided that I would be a "stay-at-home" dad, and I would feed my son with his mother's extracted milk while she was go at her school teaching job (btw, I delivered my son at home via a midwife in addition to his two younger siblings).  I even carried him around in a backpack as I mowed the lawn etc.  But, that all ended when his mom "took" him away at an early age.  Needless to say, I was devastated.  I am only interjecting a little of my past to maybe help ease some of your pain and to let you know that you are not alone in that kind of misery.

He is now my "prodigal" son and even with the extreme grief I have had over the past couple of decades, I have totally given him to the Lord.  His arms are one big tattoo (don't know about the rest of his body) pierced ears, smokes, lives with a woman, and well, you get the idea. But in a few days I and my mom will be driving to Charlotte, NC to watch him "walk" after four years of college.  That will be a blessing to me just to see him! 

But, like Arion said, it is ALL in God's hands.  I'm sure that all who will be reading your "cry to the Lord" will be earnestly praying that you will get the strength to bear your cross while you sojourn on this present earth.

doug
 

octoberose:
I't's hard not to blame myself- it's hard not to blame my husband. I spend time thinking about the "what if we had made this decision or that " and how it would be different. But I know that's just folly. We wrestled for a while weather to have a third child or not, and I decided that God was leading us to have a 3rd and without him we'd miss a blessing. I had no idea that blessing entailed me walking in the shoes of heartbreak, not being so judgmental when other peoples children went the wrong path, and having to give up control. Not the blessing I was looking for, but I know for sure I'm better off with these lessons.
 But the heart aches. That's the hard part. The emotions are difficult to handle. It's like living in a prolonged state of grief. But I know for sure that every knee will bow and that includes my child. I shudder to imagine what this would be like if I didn't know that.  I think a lot about the 'beatitudes'. Blessed are they that mourn for they will be comforted. I think all of those blessings must be about the children of God  - we will walk in the path of all of them. Did Ray ever write about them?
 God must have given us children so we would know a little bit how He feels.

lauriellen:
I think for me, it has been about giving up all my ideas of what this life should be about, the dreams i had of the ideal family life, etc. . I have come to the conclusion that all this life iS about for ALL (the sea of humanity) is 'AN EXPERIENCE OF GOOD AND EVIL'.  God has already decided what must be....It isn't a pleasant thought to me, but i truely believe ALL that happens in each individual life is absolutely necessary to our spiritual developement....only SOME begin the next step in their spiritual development in this life as the 'many called'....a FEW take yet another step in this deveolpment as the 'few chosen'.
As much as i would LOVE for myself & my family to be amoung the 'few chosen', i realize it is more than just a long shot....i think God inspired the use of the word 'few' for good reason. As much as it pains me, i know Gods ways are not my ways, and His thoughts and wisdom higher than i could begin to understand....so when i see my family, community & world around me being destroyed, yes my heart is broken, but, i remind myself thru the tears that God means it all for a good purpose that is being worked out. I take a step back and remind myself that WHATEVER is happening is the way God means for it to be for His purpose.....just maybe it isn't about the other person's behavior or state at all, but about how WE love this person in spite of his actions? are we patient and kind even when they are hostile to us? can we learn to judge nothing before the appointed time? Can we show them love and compassion even tho we HATE what they are doing? Death is the means that ALL will be given new life...its hard to accept the physical or spiritual death of our children....i have experience both....but, God is still God, and He isn't finished yet.....most hearts will NOT be changed in this life.....but i remind myself that I/we/they will be in good company in the 2nd resurrection....for that is were MOST of humanity FITS into Gods plan for all. We will all take these absolutely necessary experiences of good and evil and they will be the basis of our learning righteousness & obedience thru the things we have suffered, now or in the next age.
LET GO AND LET GOD is the first thing that came to mind when i read your post....not easy to do, but SO necessary if we are to survive mentally...we must accept that God isn't going to give us what we want, but what we need.....He isn't going to give ANY person LIFE until the appointed time, each man in his own order.....He may not heal our physical or spiritual sicknesses in this life....He may not remove the source of our pain, but give us endurance....He may not save our children in this life....I am learning to take a step back and watch God at work ALL AROUND AND IN ME....I am learning not to judge Gods ways or be angry at Him for destroying my family...even tho many times i just want to scream WHY does it have to be this way?.....we (and our children) are HIS workmanship.....He is doing His STRANGE work in, around & thru every person...He has prepared the vessels of dishonor from the same lump as the vessels of honor.....and He will complete His work in both....it hurts deeply....it SUCKS most of the time.....but its just for a little while....our short life is just a vapor and will be over quickly for each person......then on to the next age, the next step in Gods plan.....i think that is were I have to focus........the promises of no more pain or sorrow or crying are coming to us in the coming ages.

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