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Author Topic: Dog -vs-cat  (Read 4182 times)

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GaryK

  • Guest
Dog -vs-cat
« on: June 19, 2012, 06:45:44 PM »




Dog's Diary…
 
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



A Cat's Diary…

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. ********.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...............


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Gina

  • Guest
Re: Dog -vs-cat
« Reply #1 on: June 20, 2012, 01:01:16 AM »

That cat.  ha!
 
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GaryK

  • Guest
Re: Dog -vs-cat
« Reply #2 on: June 20, 2012, 11:41:34 AM »

;D ;D ;D  Hi gk, something tells me you like dogs.


 ;D

Actually, have them both.   This couldn't have nailed either one any better.   I'm pretty sure my cat wrote this diary.
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lauriellen

  • Guest
Re: Dog -vs-cat
« Reply #3 on: June 20, 2012, 08:08:25 PM »

that was priceless....loved it  ;D
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walt123

  • Guest
Re: Dog -vs-cat
« Reply #4 on: June 22, 2012, 10:47:59 AM »

I had cats gk,and now it all makes sense,what they where thinking and doing.

Thanks gk,i will be on my guard from now on. ??? :-\ >:(

Walt
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