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A question for the older men here

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zander:
I think everyone here has said it about right.  Masturbation is one of a multitude of things we do whilst in the flesh.  We probably find it quite prominent as a sin because it's to do with sex and sex is one of those taboo subjects, especially within the church.  In fact according to the church sex is possibly the WORST sin ever.  They talk about it like it's worse than killing someone.  Look at their hang ups on homosexuality for example.  They place so much focus on sex, like it's the worst thing in the world.  That's probably why you feel it's so bad.  It's such a personal thing and a feeling of being totally exposed so it feels embarrasing.  But there are other sins we have like selfishness, greed, laziness, profanity, lying etc...ask yourself how much of the rest of that is within you too.  We're all in the same boat, i say.

Patric:
Brother......this is a a human condition for sure....and not just for men.....as embarrassing as it is selfish.....it is enjoy the benefits of sex with out even having a partner! and suicide would up there with that level of selfishness imo.....however....my opinions on the subject may or may not have much weight....having struggled with this as I am about to turn 44....for most of my life....I believe i was about 10 or s0 when I began to realize the pleasure and release of sexual tension this would give me.....and I too would do it daily......well as a young man....I find today.....once a week....and a few times a month is average......the body has not the same zest for it but my mind is in overdrive all too often......the sorrow I would feel after doing it and or the thoughts I had while doing this or even the pictures and or videos and items I would use while involved.....made me feel I was never gonna overcome and or enjoyed this poison so much that I would never let go.....in fact married men confide in me that there is no answer to it......but having an outlet sure seemed like a good idea to me! Paul said it would be better to marry then to burn with passion......yet no one gets married burning after all do they? lol well not in my church congregation they did not for sure.....I do not have the answer and make things more of a challenge......Christ tells us not even to look at married woman with lust! this makes me a complete failure....cuz that is the part I fall into much more often then masturbation......and now I ask well Lord....what if the woman is not married? Can I do it then?! you see my mind? lol I want to justify my actions.....and make my lack of self control not sinful....fact is anything done apart from faith is sin. That said.....I know of no man that has over come this lust or sin. I know boasted of his single life....and I knew a man who once said for 20+ years he never masturbated....but lets see....Christ said if you even look at the woman with lust you have committed fornication and or adultry.....the church of course agrees and says further that Christ wants us to but off are right hand and gouge out our eye that is the agent used to promote this sin!!!! wow.....this scared the tar out of me to say the least......I do that Christ has paid for our sins.....the past....the present and future included....and this not only keeps my sanity but empowers me to overcome all sins....or things the church or myself or our God himself would see and know is sin......that gives me peace....even if a I fail......this topic is taboo....and few men....as well as fewer women discuss it with any degree of confidence....and I would say it is the most indulged in activity in human existence! I feel bad often after I do it.....and other times I don't feel bad.....I do wish I had a partner to share my sexuality with but that too is up to the Lord....just remember that all sin has been paid for! Let no one deceive you.....some men and women have stronger faith and or less of a struggle with sin....or types of sin.....your strength and or weaknesses are the way the enemy may accuse.....point the finger....and catch you on the law....promises.....vows....and things like "I will never do it again" we are merely setting ourselves up to fail....as my mother used to tell me......"hang a yet on that never statement" she would say you have not done it yet....but there is not boasting....especially not in the flesh....there is not confidence in the flesh.....and all the glory is the Fathers......I pray you find strength to stay at peace....while the storm and flesh of life decays and fails.....your faith is of greater value than gold.....and what pleases our Father.....if we are going to boast....let it be of our weakness!!! WOW Paul was right.....boast of your weakness so the power of Christ can rest upon you....this is how I overcome and not beat myself up with sin.....and in particular masturbation.....the sin that church says is evil.....we are after all sexual beings......find a mate......and be sexual....that is my answer and my long words in 2 cents LOL
thy will be done....

mharrell08:
You won't stop until you're truly ashamed of doing it. You say that you are, but you won't change until the guilt heavily outweighs the pleasure you receive from doing it. We don't stop any one particular sin until Jesus brings about a change of heart where our desire to please God is greater than fulfilling our flesh. Hang in there...focus on what you will be in time more so than where you are now, that's how God looks at us.



Hope this helps,

Marques

gregorydc:
My brother we all have the same problem! Ray said he stopped sinning mostly when the guilt outweighed the pleasure and God gave him control over them.  I as well as you have the same problem exactly, but I am waiting for God to let me stop in his time. I try to resist as much as possible but at times it makes it worse. God is stopping us in his time, creating us in his image is He, Jesus said "fear not" . So I say don't worry this too shall pass

Just a thought, hope it helps
Greg

Dave in Tenn:
A couple of other things Ray said:

Sometimes it was a long time after he wanted to be free of a sin before he was not under its dominion.

The reward for repentance is a clear concience.

Whatsoever things are ...pure...think on these things.

There are no magic bullets.



If I'm going to do better than before, I want to seperate porn from masturbation, even though the two are often intertwined.

What's helped me with porn (and the lust of the eyes):

Love.  When you see the object, you're seeing a person who is a fellow human being.  It doesn't matter if she is willing, or blatantly seductive, or whatever.  It doesn't matter that if you 'preached' the gospel to her in your heart, she might bite your hand and resist forgiveness.  She's also somebody for whom the Lord died and somebody destined to be in the Family of God.  If your heart can change to see her that way, you will grow to not want to see her any other way.

Does that work?  Love never fails.  It's not just something we need and want to experience from God, but something we need and will want to give to others, including that model or actor or whatever.  I fail to love, but when I love, it never fails.

There are a lot of ways to 'flee youthful lusts', but all of them require us to 'flee'.

As for masturbation.  That's trickier because sometimes we think of that as a need.  Sometimes, but not always.  Sometimes its just bordeom, or self-soothing, or force of habit or some other motivation.  Bordeom can be cured.  We can break habits, avoid temptations and 'inflammations' (like porn), deny ourselves, etc.  I'm not saying its easy...no change is.  But it is a way of escape that's given to us when we're ready to use it.

Scripturally?  I can't do better than John did. 

Spiritually?  Resist the Devil.  I don't believe the devil is very much involved in the 'temptation'.  That's something most guys need precious little 'pushing' to do.  Resist the Devil trying to lie you under condemnation.  Resist him lying that there is no salvation.  Resist all his lies.

Psa 37:23,24  The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.  Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.

Pro 24:15,16 Do not wait in ambush as a wicked man against the homestead of a righteous man; Do not devastate his reclining place; For the righteous one shall fall seven times and still rise, Yet the wicked shall be stumbled by evil. 

Meditate on that for a good while.  There's real, heavy, fatty red meat on that.  (to note:  If we can have sex with ourselves, can't we "wait in ambush" against ourselves? I think so.)

1Jn 1:6 If we should be saying that we are having fellowship with Him and should be walking in darkness, we are lying and are not doing the truth."
1Jn 1:7 Yet if we should be walking in the light as He is in the light, we are having fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, is cleansing us from every sin."
1Jn 1:8 If we should be saying that we have no sin we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us."
1Jn 1:9 If we should be avowing our sins, He is faithful and just that He may be pardoning us our sins and should be cleansing us from all injustice."
1Jn 1:10 If we should be saying that we have not sinned, we are making Him a liar, and His word is not in us."

What is that darkness in vs 6?  I think it's the same darkness that the self-righteous Pharisees had when The Lord warned that if the light they had was darkness, how dark is the darkness.  The 'cure' is walking in the light as expressed in the remaining verses.  Absolute, bone-crushing, heart revealing honesty every step of the way.  Does that work?  It's the only thing that has ever worked for me.

Do good.

 

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