Hi all. My name is Rhys and I come from New Zealand in a small town called Whakatane. Found out about the Bible Truths website after I left the Church (Babylon) and asked God to help me find somewhere on the Internet where God’s truth is taught and found the site one day as was searching. Was tough leaving church as was the worship leader playing guitar and singing and I no longer play the guitar which I quite enjoyed so miss that now, can’t seem to get the motivation to pick it up again.
I started reading Ray’s material and thought finally someone who puts all the pieces together. Have been reading Ray’s material for almost 2 years now and it has been a massive blessing to me as have always desired to come closer to God’s truth, of course this is God’s doing and not mine as it says in John 15:16 You did not choose Me, but I chose you. Have also been reading a lot of the information on the forum so feel I know a lot of you already. I thought of joining earlier but found it was best for me to keep on reading Ray’s material. I felt it was right to join now, as I feel isolated now as no longer have fellowship with the Christians. Have not found anything I disagree with in Ray’s papers in fact it sets my spirit on fire as God’s truth sets us free, always found in church it goes in to your head but not your heart. In the latter part of my church life I found afterwards when I got home I had to spend my own time in prayer to feel close to God (one would think I would of left a long time ago if I was doing this).
It’s wonderful from the teachings to experience the spiritual change as spiritually I have had a tough time in the past. I was involved overseas on the mission field in my early 20’s while still in the church and one day started to get these demonic attacks which occurred just before I went to sleep. I guess best described as drifting off to some other place instead of sleep. It involved feeling pinned down and paralysed in immense evil and seeing demons and being tormented in pain, on occasions I would feel like someone is pulling me off my bed only to realise I was being pulled on the side with the wall so couldn’t of been another person, would then wake up with finger marks on my arm. Other experiences include being hit with what feels like a piece of wood, chest pain, suicide thoughts (some more serious) and generally feeling awful during the day. I suffered for this for 15 years with around a 1000 attacks, I had deliverance and felt demons coming up and through my mouth but never seemed to fix the situation. I think the worst of it is feeling the spiritual life being sucked out of me and feeling empty of everything and more importantly empty of God with the feeling of even the Lord has deserted me in the time I need him most. For me it is hard to discuss this sort of stuff as many Christians can think they are more spiritual for this sort of wrestling against spiritual forces but not me, I wish it were all over after the first one. I would rather suffer in other ways than go through this (too many tears over a long period of time). Have spent many nights not wanting to go to sleep because of it and often I didn’t. I often prayed hours only then to suffer another attack, thought surely I’m right now I feel like Jesus is so close now how can the enemy still be there. I often got very angry with God and turned my back on him many times but praise God he draws me back. I soon learnt where else can you turn. Have not had these attacks now for 3 years but get the odd bad dream now and then that takes me back there in my mind.
I also have good times with God too so not all bad. Certain dreams in a much nicer place and times in prayer where God’s presence is very strong.
Coming to see now that God has his reasons for these things but still don’t understand it all. It has opened me up to spiritual things and I can say that Ray’s teaching is God’s truth as it goes in deep and feels pretty good when it hits the place it needs to even though certain things are hard to come to terms with I know it’s God’s truth and His Will will be done.
By the way these Christians who believe in hell and teach it to others I wish they went through what I went through that may change there tune. I can see why God would allow this suffering for a period of time to bring the change He wants but what’s the point in forever, just stupidity at the highest level.
I am sure I could go on and on about more things about myself but you have probably had enough of my ranting by now. Would like to ask some questions now and then but I generally find the answers in either Ray’s material or on the past forum discussions but if I do I am sure I will ask, hopefully they won’t sound to stupid.
The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all.
Rhys
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Topic: Introduction / A bit about myself (Read 7405 times)