Do you feel like this? (Like I do)

[Rhys 🕊]

I know we all go through physical problems, losing people, health problems, issues with other people, lose your job and so on. Think of all those things that can happen in the physical. These problems are common to all people and they can really hurt and of course I go through many myself.

In my introduction I mentioned my 15 years of demonic attacks. It wasn't just the attacks themselves which were so painful it was the spiritual torment that lasted through the day that I found so difficult. It got to the point that I felt like my Spirit was taken away and I was left as an empty shell, even the spiritual torment I suffer since being on the forum makes me feel that I hope to die today because I can't handle feeling like this. I start to wonder what are you doing here God it doesn't feel like you love me at all.

Don't really want to compare spiritual problems with physical problems but my experience of the spiritual problems makes me feel - can't I just have the physical ones.

Do others here feel like this all I am just stuffed?

I get quite confused over this, it almost seems why are you being so unfair to me Lord when others around me seem to be given everything and I am getting everything taken off me. When I felt like my spirit was taken away I recall being on the other side of a busy road and I knew where I came from. I must of walked over the road but I don't remember crossing the road and wondered why I wasn't run over. I felt such a terrible emptiness that is hard to put into words.

Rhys

[Rhys 🕊]

Hi Hayley

Thanks for your response. I liked the scripture portion as well. I'm not sure the medical people could help with what I experience and I'm not sure if I would want there help anyway if they don't understand the deep spiritual truths that I do. Hard to explain demonic attacks all I know is I want to get away from it as fast as I can. I had one once where I could see demons whacking my leg with a piece of wood and when it had finished and I stood up I was limping for a while until the pain wore off. That one freaked out too much. I think that was the one where the following day I walked across the road without knowing it. I remember swearing at them to leave me alone because praying wasn't working and I can tell you that's not such a wise thing to do. I'm sure the little rascals only hit me harder. Oh well everyone will think I'm crazy now. 

Yes the violence and hatred on TV upsets me too, find I have to be careful what I'm watching. (Perhaps throwing the TV up against the wall might be a good solution). 

I still find myself questioning God why I went through this but still don't know. I don't get them now but the other night laying in bed I saw a person in my mind come up to me and punch me in the face, didn't hurt to much but did frighten me especially since they were smiling at me. Those who thought I wasn't crazy before now will. Perhaps I should hit the delete button. Oops too late. 

Rhys

[gregorydc]

Brother Rhys,
  With all honesty I tell you you are not alone. I too was also hounded by demons when I was younger, in my dreams. I don't remember being physically beaten like you were but being scared horribly. I remember telling my parents at first, and I got the oh your just having a bad dream, but I new there was much more to it than that. I always seemed to get them every few months and they would seem to get worse the older I got. I can remember calling out to God at the top of my lungs, sometimes once, sometimes it seemed like ten times, before they would stop. I can still remember faces, especially one in particular, man I hated that one, it would set me straight up in bed crying almost every time.  So no my friend I don't see you as "crazy"  .
  As God drew (dragged) me closer to him these attacks changed.  They eventually quit, then God started using my dreams to warn me, or tell me things to come. I thought demon attacks were scary, I was more fearful of what I perceived to be God, or his messenger, with so much "power/awe/I don't know what" that exuded from Him. I do know that these dreams have come to me like nothing I have ever dreamed before, and I will never be able to forget them, like I have most of the demon attacks. Dear brother fear not Jesus Christ is always with you, and told you not to fear. I cannot tell you why these things happen to you, or me, or any one else. Maybe demons do try to make you run from God, or maybe God uses them to make you call out to Him?  All I know is God has us where he wants us, and He is willing I don't want to be left out of His plans. Hope, this helps a little. Love, and Peace to you brother, from a day behind.
Greg

[Rhys 🕊]

Hi Greg

Thanks for your response and yes it does help. I mention the demonic attacks as that has happened to me in my case but just wondered if others feel that pain inside as I don't think they have to go through demonic stuff like I have experienced to feel the pain inside. I just don't like to feel alone with it so your words are of great encouragement to me.

Rhys

[Deborah-Leigh]

Rhys NZ


Discovering, through bitter experience,  there's  no faith in the world, and no faith of our selves, is the necessary line over which all must step into the embrace of Christ within.


Trials of Faith, cultivate humble acceptance. Who could restore to sanity, the man possessed by Legion, but Christ Himself?


FIRE  purges. FIRE turns us to CHRIST and IS CHRIST. HE is Limitlessness.


You're  on the threshold of the Kingdom of God within! 


Arc

[Rhys 🕊]

Thanks Arc. Interesting you mentioned Legion. When I was going through my attacks someone told me when I was going through one I should ask what the demons name is. I thought why we would I do that I'm not going to ask him out for dinner but maybe I need to know. So I asked and was told straight away and very clearly like another person is talking to you "My name is Legion" I thought Oh great your in the bible this can't be good and it always felt more than 1 demon. Legion means many demons and they lie so I don't know if it was the one in the bible.

I got deliverance once in church, it took 3 or 4 guys to do it and took around an hour. Was quite painful as these things came out. Felt like a tennis ball coming up in my throat and out my mouth. I got so weak they had to hold me up. I don't know how many came out but was a lot. When it got to the last one that was coming out I suddenly got very strong again and I think I shouted a few things at them but don't remember it all, my mind was a bit blurry. I do remember I tried to throw them off me and felt really angry. I think this one didn't want to go and it took longer than the others. After it had finished I walked up the stairs and felt really light like I had no body weight. What annoyed me the most was after going through all of that, the attacks didn't stop but got worse which only made me get angry with God. I attacked God and swore a number of times at Him because of it, still something I regret doing today but I was really annoyed about the situation. I feel I should be thankful to Him in all things but I wasn't.

Rhys

[Deborah-Leigh]

Imitation OF Christ is not CHRIST. ~ 

[Dave in Tenn]

When I was a teenager, I had some major dental work done.  I was under 'gas', but concious.  I saw myself about two inches tall sitting in my own mouth on a molar watching the drill spinning and doing it's work.  Was it any less 'of God' that happened just because there was no religious connotation to it?  I think not.  Because when I read from Ray in Scripture that 'heaven' was my mind, I was able to grasp it--at least to some extent.

Rom 12:1,2 I am entreating you, then, brethren, by the pities of God, to present your bodies a sacrifice, living, holy, well pleasing to God, your logical divine service, and not to be configured to this eon, but to be transformed by the renewing of your mind, for you to be testing what is the will of God, good and well pleasing and perfect."

Tit 3:4-7 Yet when the kindness and fondness for humanity of our Saviour, God, made its advent, not for works which are wrought in righteousness which we do, but according to His mercy, He saves us, through the bath of renascence and renewal of holy spirit, which He pours out on us richly through Jesus Christ, our Saviour, that, being justified in that One's grace, we may be becoming enjoyers, in expectation, of the allotment of life eonian."

As I shared with you earlier, I no longer have these visions and experiences.  But what I face now is much more subtle, and gnaws on me and strikes me in no less painful ways.  So yes I do sometimes feel like this.  All these things pass away in the course of the renewing of our minds and the devlopment of the fruit of the Spirit.  He's not given us a Spirit of fear and to the measure He has given us His Spirit is the measure that He has removed fear from our minds.

He's not done with you yet, so have faith and don't fear.  Talk to Him about everything that's going on, including how you feel about it.  We're saved a little at a time.     

[Rhys 🕊]

He's not given us a Spirit of fear and to the measure He has given us His Spirit is the measure that He has removed fear from our minds.

Thanks Dave. I like the line you mentioned above, quite encouraging to me.

God bless

Rhys