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[Ian 155]

On January 2nd, a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge . So they stopped.

... George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"

She says, "I'm going to commit suicide."

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either so he asked ... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.

After they finished, George gets approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"







"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.

[Rhys 🕊]

Oh! How could you Ian or should I say Sugar Shorts. 

I think she(he) would of been pushed by George since he is a big burly man. Well that's what I would of done.

Rhys

[wat]

lol, what a twist.

I live near Pekin and drive over the Murray Baker Bridge sometimes.

[Kat]

Is this humor or is this someone being made fun of 
Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference, it can be a fine line.

Kat

[Gina]

Thanks Ian.  Now I have Boy George's - The Crying Game - stuck in my head.  What a dark, emotionally manipulative movie - not unlike your joke.  Loved the song though!

(Kat, there are other jokes on this board making fun of certain kinds of people, that no one seems to mind and are left up, like the one where that drunk walks up to a cabdriver and says, "Hey, got room for a pizza and some beer?"  Can you say, Double standard, Kat?)

[Gina]

Poor, poor, Sugar shorts. 

When I was a little girl all of five, I wanted to wear my pink and white polka dot dress. It was so adorable.  Thing is, it was about 10 sizes too small and when I went out to the kitchen to show my nanny how pretty I looked in it, instead of congratulating me, she got upset and said, "You can't wear that dress, sweetie, it's too small for you!"

Oh yes I can too!! 

Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!  Back to my bedroom!  Locked Priscilla out!  Climbed on my bed and stared out my bedroom window with Priscilla yelling at me through the door to TAKE OFF THAT DRESS, GINA!

Oh, I cried, and cried.  I looked so good in that dress.  I just couldn't understand what the big deal was.  It was very small, though, I had to finally admit.  It was so tight around my ribcage I could barely breathe to sob.   

But see, looking baaaaaack...  I can clearly see.

I bet if Sugar shorts was wearing a kilt the joke might have ended a little differently.  But we'll never know, will we.

[dodrill]

One of my personal favorites is Dr Seuss with his exquisite understanding of the human psyche. Our internal dialogue (unregenerate of course) can sometimes sound like this:

“Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn't allow it! 
4 o'clock:  Wallow in self pity
4:30:  Stare into the abyss
5 o'clock:  Solve world hunger.  (Tell NO ONE) 
5:30:  Jazzersize
6:30:  Dinner with me (I can't cancel that again.)
7 o'clock:  Wrestle with my self loathing
I’M BOOKED!”   
—   Dr. Seuss's How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)     

PS did you know that we are the only ones of God's creation that blush - I think it's because we have been given the ability to recognise our reflection and understand our underlying motives

Love you all - personally - I find satire almost a balm for the soul - not to laugh at someone else's pain - but to see my own ridiculousness and vanity

[Kat]

(Kat, there are other jokes on this board making fun of certain kinds of people, that no one seems to mind and are left up, like the one where that drunk walks up to a cabdriver and says, "Hey, got room for a pizza and some beer?"  Can you say, Double standard, Kat?)

Yes we have all kinds of humor here... I usually don't comment just let people have there fun. But sometimes I see something and I feel like making a comment, that's all.

Kat

[Gina]

(Kat, there are other jokes on this board making fun of certain kinds of people, that no one seems to mind and are left up, like the one where that drunk walks up to a cabdriver and says, "Hey, got room for a pizza and some beer?"  Can you say, Double standard, Kat?)

Yes we have all kinds of humor here... I usually don't comment just let people have there fun. But sometimes I see something and I feel like making a comment, that's all.

Kat

Same here.

[Gina]

Oh, yes, good ol' Dr. Seusse. 

Twas a favorite of mine as a kid.  I still is...a kid--that is. 

We are the only blushers in the whole pack.  No, really! 
Can't you see
How that could be? 
For sure, our cheeks are smooth.
But theirs are hairy.
Others still are scaly.
So I conclude,
That I exude
A certain amount of unregenerate-sy
Don't you agree, Hayley?

The End.

[Gina]

And He shall spread His banter of love over my head.   Thanks, chubby cheeks! 

[Rhys 🕊]

Chubby Cheeks??? Sweet Shorts???  What's this thread coming too?

Kat - I'm sure it's a joke. I haven't worn a dress for sometime now!

Dr. Seuss is so cool. Best put by the man himself:

“When beetles fight these battles in a bottle with their paddles
and the bottle's on a poodle and the poodle's eating noodles...
...they call this a muddle puddle tweetle poodle beetle noodle
bottle paddle battle.”
― Dr. Seuss, Fox in Socks

Puts everything into perspective doesn't it?

Rhys

[Ian 155]

Been having some down time  - missed all these replies -

No kat this was just a joke  - I may have a problem with cross dressers and long tongues and the idea of getting mustache rash from a seemingly, sugary, sweet short cladded, male, posing as a female    yuccckkky 

I however see your point ..... do not judge ?