I was born to a Catholic father and a Protestant mother. From grades 1-4, I attended a Catholic school. Things got very confusing, as my school and father would tell me one thing, and my mother would tell me another, especially about who really forgives sin: priests or God. :?
Soon after I began fifth grade at age 9, my mother, sister, and I started attending a Wesleyan Methodist church. They were very strict and legalistic. As a female, they expected me to not wear shorts, slacks, makeup, jewelry (even wedding rings were frowned upon), or cut my hair. They even had some crazy idea that women should wear their hair up, which I refused to do. From age 14, I was the church organist. They allowed me to pull my hair back to play; as soon as I was finished, I would let it loose. For a time, I was not allowed to play because I wore eye-liner! Owning a TV was a sin.
I thought God would be angry with me if I didn't do what they said (except for the hair-up thing), and I was threatened with the fear of eternal hell. They told me God was love, yet their sermons always depicted Him as some angry being. I had the feeling that He was sitting up in heaven just waiting for me to mess up so He could punish me ... as if He got some kind of sick pleasure out of doing so. Even if I could live a perfect life, if I committed one sin before I died--or forgot to ask God to forgive that sin--I was doomed to hell. They preached that you could know for sure that you were going to heaven when you die, but if you can lose your salvation, you can't possibly know until you die! :roll:
In high school I attended a Baptist school and heard about the "once saved, always saved" belief, which definitely went against everything I'd learned (except the "knowing for sure" thing). The Bible verses they gave made sense; yet, the ones from my church saying you COULD lose your salvation also did. That is where my search for truth began. For years--decades, actually--I prayed for God to show me which one was right.
I started listening to all kinds of preachers, and heard one talk about evil and demonology.
One day while searching for demons, I came upon Ray's site. I started to read, and it was like a light went on. Here was the TRUTH!!! God's plan of salvation was far more wonderful than I'd ever dreamed.