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Author Topic: I'm new  (Read 3920 times)

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Lark

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I'm new
« on: January 04, 2014, 01:38:09 PM »

I love people and it was very hard for me to think that all these people i am surrounded by one day was going to hell!  I would run in my Mom's room and cry my eyes out for hours.   I loved God but this stupid place was running me right into depression who wants the gift of the knowledge of the Lord when you have to chase after people shoving the name Jesus down their throat and begging God for them to understand because other wise they are tortured for eternity?   

My name is lark i am 16 years old
I grew up with a sick mother who was dying from the torture of ..... a lot of abusers a gaslight effect if anyone has seen that very old movie.  I was daddy and grandmas little girl but only because they wanted me to leave my mom and like them better ( to abuse my mom).  When i was 11 years old i realized that my father had been using me for other purposes as well....  My mom rushed me away to another place and promptly kicked him out of the house. I went to a ladies house to stay because i did not want to face my dad when my mom kicked him out,  but while i was there the lady acted like i was tainted.  She told me i was not aloud to talk to her daughter about anything she was not aloud to come into the attic room i was staying in, and around 9pm the father would ship me up to the room and force me to go to bed while the rest of the family stayed up for hours.
 Having no friends or family ( they didn't believe me and took my dad's side) i only had one person talking to me who was my older cousin.   Flash forward i had been violated and abused by family AGAIN only over the internet.  I went on to meet other men off the internet because i figured they will never love me so i will use them for their words.  For years i was in depression having very graphic images of my self dead on my bathroom floor, blocking all sunlight out of my room telling God some...... not very nice things.   I went to counselors but they told me i was just upset i didn't have a boyfriend and that its normal for kids my age, then they promptly handed me two verses and told me to read them.  I hated church everyone their had fake smiles and a bunch of lies all over their faces, especially while my family was suffering and no one would help us.   
But God was leading me out of all these fake Christian ways i had been raised in.

I didn't come out of depression until sophomore year oh high school when i started being social with people .... and boys.   By the end of sophomore year i decided i liked not having many friends and that boys were annoying and nasty. I had been understanding truth about God and had realized I'm so not cut out for the worlds way of living.   That was until my dad moved to south america and i freaked out.  I don't know if i was upset or if i wanted to get back at God why i went back to sin i don't know.  But i did and i went and asked this boy out knowing i was using him like all the others, and knowing i was going to crush him in the end.  The whole time i was afraid God was going to throw my piece of silver away i felt guilty every day, i even had my first panic attack on the phone.  I told the boy from the beginning God does not want us together, and that i am in big trouble,  leave it to this 16 year old to think that she can out smart and hide things from God. 

End of story  After a little over a month I fell apart because i was  going back into depression and back to being the most dreadful manipulation control freak and i lost my love of my life God.  So i told the guy i had to talk to him i told him what i had done that i was so sorry that I need to go back to God....... this does not compute at all with him, and he proceeds to gossip about me to everyone ( i go to a very very small school ), and then ask my friend to hand me a note which said to ...... well leave him alone and quote " stop pushing your religion on me". As i expected it did not go well i cried my eyes out on the floor and was so happy that God fought me so much inside because he loved me so much he was not going to let me be taken by a guy who wore more jewelry then me and gossiped worse then an old church lady.  I was still really guilty for six months afterwards because i thought i just ruined God for him completely and gave him a one way ticket to hell.  Thankfully that was not true.
 

 Now i am with my Beautiful mother who also has been brought out of the fire, she is much smarter then me though  with all this stuff, she is the one who told me about Ray and the lake of fire series.  I hope to be able to talk to some other people about God on here he is the most beautiful thing i have ever dreamed of, problem is you can never find anyone who understands this.  During my hardships God lead me to play guitar, i sing my prayers to him now..... 

So that's my life in a very tiny nut shell.  Nice to meet you



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Rhys 🕊

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Re: I'm new
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2014, 03:05:51 PM »

Welcome to the forum Lark

You have been through much in a short time

May God's truth touch deeply and bring peace as you learn more of Him

It's a blessing to have a mother with such a heart for the truth

Bless you

Rhys
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cjwood

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Re: I'm new
« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2014, 07:43:53 PM »

hi lark.  like rhys mentioned, you have been through much in a short time.  i remember being 16.  i felt like i was living in hell even though i had a large loving family around me.  i walked to the beat of that different drummer, only realizing now that the off beat drummer was God the Father drawing me little by little to Him. 

i am thankful to God that He has brought you and your momma to learn some of the most awesome Truths from His Word.  hold on to the Word and the words, and go to them daily.  healing lies within them.

does your momma go by loverly by any chance?  you favor each other in the face.

stand strong in the faith God has graced your heart with lark.  it is all about faith.  having the faith of Christ.  easier said than done sometimes, but He will never fail you.

claudia
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thewatchman

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Re: I'm new
« Reply #3 on: January 04, 2014, 08:38:11 PM »

Hello my darling girl,

I am very sorry that all happened to you. Please let me say to you that other peoples actions towards us DO NOT define who we are. It doesn't define you and you are NOT tainted. Your spirit is too beautiful for that.  Christ within you will be stronger than all of that. There's a saying in the native language of my country. "Kia Kaha" which means "Stand Strong"

You can do that. Sometimes just leaning into the wind and not getting blown back is victory in and of itself. Then, when life calms down a little we start to press forward. I believe in you. You can do it.

God bless you.

Greg  8)
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Kat

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Re: I'm new
« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2014, 08:46:13 PM »


Hi Lark,

I'm glad you have joined us  :)
You certainly have been through it. Well I hope you will cling to the peace this truth brings. We do enjoy this fellowship we have with like minded believers here, so jion in the discussions or ask questions.

Here are the links to extra info we have here on the forum, this is besides what's on the main BT's main body of articles.
Forum Rules- General info
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,3.0.html
Topic- Questions and Truth 
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,4558.0.html
Topic- How this Forum is Moderated
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,3614.0.html

General discussion board- to ask questions and discuss what is presented at the Bible-truths.com site.
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/board,3.0.html

Child board- FAQ (most frequently asked questions)- above General discussion board
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/board,23.0.html

Forum Indexes & Info.
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/board,14.0.html

Ray's Videos
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,8227.0.html

Ray's Audios 
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,2641.0.html

Ray's 2008 Audios
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,8256.0.html

Transcripts of Audios
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/board,12.0.html

Off Topic board- to discuss things that may not directly relate to BT, you will find a good bit of humor
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/board,4.0.html

child board- Inspirationals, Writings, Poems, Etc.- above Off Topic board
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/board,15.0.html

Testimonies / Prayer Requests / Fellowship board- mostly for personal posts
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/board,5.0.html

Child boards- Who Am I? (only available to members)- above Testimonies board, members pics and other stuff
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/board,16.0.html

Members Recipes- for sharing recipes and food tips
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/board,22.0.html

mercy, peace and love
Kat
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friendofJC

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Re: I'm new
« Reply #5 on: January 04, 2014, 08:58:21 PM »

Nice to meet you Lark! 8)

"And now we welcome the new year, full of things that have never been."  Rainer Marie Rilke

God is the most beautiful thing I have ever dreamed of too and I look forward to talking about him with you. 

All glory is his,
Jason
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Lark

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Re: I'm new
« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2014, 09:21:34 PM »

You all are such beautiful people thank you!
I am very exited to read and study more, it's actually really fun.
Cjwood yes you are correct Loverly is my mother, she is the one who convinced me to join the forum.
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virginiabm

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Re: I'm new
« Reply #7 on: January 05, 2014, 09:56:03 AM »

Hi Lark,
  Welcome to the family of believers. You will grow in God's Love and Grace here. There are many, many truths here that will help you overcome anything that has happen to you and you will come out stronger than you know. You and your mother are very beautiful people inside and out.


                                     Your Sister in Christ Jesus,
                                        Virginia Miller
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Rene

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Re: I'm new
« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2014, 10:37:21 AM »


I am very exited to read and study more, it's actually really fun.



Welcome to the forum Lark.  It is indeed a joy to learn these truths. :)

René   
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Extol

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Re: I'm new
« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2014, 02:03:27 PM »


I am very exited to read and study more, it's actually really fun.



Welcome to the forum Lark.  It is indeed a joy to learn these truths. :)

René

And it's just as much a joy the tenth time as the first. I've been here 7 1/2 years, have read all the articles, 98% of the e-mails, have listened to all the audios numerous times, but it's still a joy, and there is still more to learn each time through. Welcome Lark.  :)
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Max

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Re: I'm new
« Reply #10 on: January 06, 2014, 04:22:31 AM »

Hello Lark,

I am terribly sorry you had to go through all that. I've had my fair share of fear and depression due to the lie of eternal torment. I'm not much older than you, and it is a joy that you have learned so much truth at such a young age! God is definitely using you to do something special!
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theophilus

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Re: I'm new
« Reply #11 on: January 07, 2014, 02:43:22 PM »

You all are such beautiful people thank you!
I am very exited to read and study more, it's actually really fun.
Cjwood yes you are correct Loverly is my mother, she is the one who convinced me to join the forum.

Welcome to the forum Lark! As I was reading about what you went through, I started to think that Loverly was your mom. :) May God bless you and give you wisdom.

Roger
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"So, if the spirit of God is going to be between your ears... you understand your heart is in your brain? Well when the spirit of God starts to motivate your mind then you have greater capacity."

-- Ray Smith

se7en

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Re: I'm new
« Reply #12 on: January 07, 2014, 03:02:41 PM »

Welcome to the forum Lark!

It's absolutely cool how God drags us to Him! It was such a big question for me as well "God, I don't understand why you would burn people for eternity."  Praise the Lord, that is not who He is. Such.... a... wonderful... Truth.

John 8:31 Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. 32 And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

1 Cor 2:16 For “who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct Him?” But we have the mind of Christ.

Thank the Lord that He has given us His mindset. :)
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~Se7en
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