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Author Topic: Ashamed of my conduct  (Read 22080 times)

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lilitalienboi16

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Ashamed of my conduct
« on: April 16, 2014, 03:47:03 PM »

Today as I was driving back home after dropping off my daughter at daycare, I ran into a young man perhaps not much older than myself who was holding a "homeless, anything helps" sign. He looked a bit dirty though he was doing his best to look appropriate with what appeared to be an old dress shirt, tie, and some dirty slacks which he held up by the suspenders around his shoulders. As I approached the red light in my vehicle where this man was standing, I found myself wanting to help him out, give him some of the money I had on me but when I checked my wallet all I could find was a few 20$ bills and a 100$ bill. In the few seconds I stood there at the light waiting for it to turn green, I couldn't bring myself to just give him the 20$. As I drove past him, the guilt grew and grew and my shame became heavy. Now here I am at home.. reflecting on my conduct, wishing I had simply just given him the 20$. I know the Lord provides for us so I should not fear giving all I have but I just couldn't get the spiritual strength to do it. An ocean of doubt raced through my mind in that moment of truth such as: "What if he's not homeless?" "What if he's going to use the money to buy drugs?" In the end... I realized they were all just excuses I was making so as not to have to give him of mine. In the end, fear and selfishness triumphed. I do not live in want and I never go a day without a roof over my head or food in my belly. The Lord has been so very merciful to me but in my selfishness, the selfishness I now loathe, I could not give mercy over judgement. I could not freely give of what I have freely received. A good christian hypocrite.

Thanks for listening to my rant, I needed to get this off my chest.

God bless,
Alex
« Last Edit: April 16, 2014, 03:51:04 PM by lilitalienboi16 »
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1 Cor 1:10 "Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment."

Rhys 🕊

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Re: Ashamed of my conduct
« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2014, 04:58:13 PM »

If the Lord provided for you does He not also provide for him

All is of God


Rhys
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arion

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Re: Ashamed of my conduct
« Reply #2 on: April 16, 2014, 05:15:19 PM »

Don't know what to say on this one.  There are many professional panhandlers around today and I know of times that people have approached someone holding a 'will work for food' sign and offered them an opportunity to go to the house and do some work and it was turned down.  They wanted the money....not the work. 

I guess we just have to be able to discern the Lord's voice at times like this.  If I'm in a line at the grocery checkout and a young lady with a couple kids is trying to by basic foods but doesn't have enough money I would be glad to dip into my wallet and give her $20.  Lots of hurting people out there today but lots of opportunists and those gaming the system as well.  We just need all the discernment we can get today I'm afraid.  I really don't want to be helping someones alcohol or drug habit.
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John from Kentucky

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Re: Ashamed of my conduct
« Reply #3 on: April 16, 2014, 05:17:32 PM »

I have been young, and now am old;
Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken,
Nor his descendants begging bread.
  Psalm 37:25



For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work,
neither should he eat.
  2Thess. 3:10
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lilitalienboi16

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Re: Ashamed of my conduct
« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2014, 05:49:08 PM »

Words of wisdom. I really needed it and you all contributed wisely to my emotional predicament.

Arion, thank you for the personal example of a time you offered bread for work but were refused.

John I especially appreciate the scriptures and they compliment nicely Arion's example.

All is of God, exactly as Rhys put it.

His family is one mind and spirit indeed. The mind of Christ.

Thank you greatly brothers and sisters.
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1 Cor 1:10 "Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment."

Joel

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Re: Ashamed of my conduct
« Reply #5 on: April 17, 2014, 02:04:21 AM »

Reminds me of the time my wife and I were taking groceries to the car.
A woman walks up from the parking lot and ask for money.
I pulled out my wallet and hand her 5 dollars.
She starts complaining that that's not enough, and she has five kids and so on.
I didn't give her a cent more because of her attitude.
As we were leaving a guy walks up, talks to her and they enter the store.
Was he pimping her? that was my impression.

Joel

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Rhys 🕊

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Re: Ashamed of my conduct
« Reply #6 on: April 17, 2014, 04:19:21 AM »

Reminds me of the time my wife and I were taking groceries to the car.
A woman walks up from the parking lot and ask for money.
I pulled out my wallet and hand her 5 dollars.
She starts complaining that that's not enough, and she has five kids and so on.
I didn't give her a cent more because of her attitude.
As we were leaving a guy walks up, talks to her and they enter the store.
Was he pimping her? that was my impression.

Joel

Hard to believe I was that guy  :P

Rhys
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Ian 155

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Re: Ashamed of my conduct
« Reply #7 on: April 17, 2014, 04:52:19 AM »

I have been young, and now am old;
Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken,
Nor his descendants begging bread.
  Psalm 37:25



For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work,
neither should he eat.
  2Thess. 3:10

Joh_17:4  I have glorified thee on the earth: I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do.

lets not get ahead of ourselves here that pride of having a job and revelling in it may be an idol, perhaps the answer may be - give as you are led... charity is a good thing

Our work is to serve the king - perhaps, slaving in Egypt is better though, not sure, its tough when you get put into chains, what is our bread  if not spiritual food...
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lareli

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Re: Ashamed of my conduct
« Reply #8 on: April 17, 2014, 06:12:52 PM »

I hear the 'what if he's gonna buy a beer or drugs' thing all the time. I mean even when I was a kid I'd hear my folks say something like that and now I'm an adult and that's still a common thing people say when talking about kicking down some money for a homeless guy.. Why does it bother people if a dude buys a beer with that money?
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John from Kentucky

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Re: Ashamed of my conduct
« Reply #9 on: April 17, 2014, 08:16:48 PM »

I hear the 'what if he's gonna buy a beer or drugs' thing all the time. I mean even when I was a kid I'd hear my folks say something like that and now I'm an adult and that's still a common thing people say when talking about kicking down some money for a homeless guy.. Why does it bother people if a dude buys a beer with that money?

The "dude" should get a job and by honest labor earn the money to pay for his own beer.  After of course, providing for the needs of his own family and household.

The Scriptures are replete with admonitions that a man should work and provide for his own needs.

Just flip through the Book of Proverbs and you will find multiple Scriptures along those lines.

« Last Edit: April 17, 2014, 10:10:10 PM by John from Kentucky »
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lareli

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Re: Ashamed of my conduct
« Reply #10 on: April 17, 2014, 10:35:03 PM »

I hear the 'what if he's gonna buy a beer or drugs' thing all the time. I mean even when I was a kid I'd hear my folks say something like that and now I'm an adult and that's still a common thing people say when talking about kicking down some money for a homeless guy.. Why does it bother people if a dude buys a beer with that money?

The "dude" should get a job and by honest labor earn the money to pay for his own beer.  After of course, providing for the needs of his own family and household.

The Scriptures are replete with admonitions that a man should work and provide for his own needs.

Just flip through the Book of Proverbs and you will find multiple Scriptures along those lines.

John you frequently make assumptions.. and then make comments based on those assumptions.. and then delete parts of your posts or entire posts all together. I think theres a lot to be said about controling your toungue in scripture as well. Proverbs also has a lot to say about the fool who is quick to speak nonsense as opposed to the wise who controls his toungue.

Controlling ones toungue is a lifelong pursuit and if one makes this his ambition then he will probably not have very much spare time to worry about whether or not the homeless guy on the corner is deserving of his charity or not... If its in ones heart to give he will give. If not he wont. Its that simple. No need to try and guess whether he's gonna buy beer or what have you. Just the simple fact that a man is asking for help and another man is either in a position to oblige or not.

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Ian 155

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Re: Ashamed of my conduct
« Reply #11 on: April 18, 2014, 04:57:10 PM »

I hear the 'what if he's gonna buy a beer or drugs' thing all the time. I mean even when I was a kid I'd hear my folks say something like that and now I'm an adult and that's still a common thing people say when talking about kicking down some money for a homeless guy.. Why does it bother people if a dude buys a beer with that money?

This I have discovered is a foul arrogant spirit and it is in most beats, it elevates and is condescending and we ,instead of giving by faith, rationalize the thing and we fall into the trap. Coming from where i have, its become kinda 2nd nature to ,if i have, just give what i have with the original motive in mind which is "get something to eat or drown your miserable life out"  doesn't matter ,if the motive is Godly.
Somefolks cant get a job etc anyway, we will always have the poor among us - perhaps its time to really count our blessings   
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wat

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Re: Ashamed of my conduct
« Reply #12 on: April 18, 2014, 08:05:53 PM »

Wait, are some of you saying that it doesn't matter what they do with the money, as long as you give then you're doing good?  If so, that sounds similar to some emails Ray has gotten where people say they tithe and if the minister does something wrong with the money, well that's between him and God.  Then Ray comes back and says God does not bless you for giving money to a charlatan minister.

I'm all for helping the less fortunate, but I can't give money to someone I know nothing about.  I can only help those around me.
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lareli

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Re: Ashamed of my conduct
« Reply #13 on: April 18, 2014, 08:26:31 PM »

Id rather buy a homeless guy a 6 pack than tithe to a charlatan minister.

It would suck to be homeless and if a cold beer helps a guy get through his day then I'm ok with it, that's all. I don't want to judge him for wanting to numb his pain with alcohol if that's the case.

Let me also say that I equally don't want to judge a man for not wanting to contribute to a homeless guys alcoholism. That's totally understandable.
« Last Edit: April 18, 2014, 08:37:56 PM by largeli »
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cjwood

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Re: Ashamed of my conduct
« Reply #14 on: April 18, 2014, 09:56:44 PM »

i think it comes down to a matter of whenever in the situation alex found himself in, that being, coming upon a person standing on a corner and assuming them to be homeless (which was most likely true), and being blessed with a job ourself and having a few $20's and a $100 bill with us, the guilt from not giving of what we had was from God to your heart.  i believe it honors Christ more to give out of the compassion felt when approaching the homeless person, than to judge why they are there/what they will do with the money.    compassion/charity/love agape are from the Spirit of God within us.  that is what Christ taught in the commandment of love.  i also believe, that especially knowing we would (God willing) be receiving another paycheck, in this particular case presented by alex, the $100 bill should have been given. 

i know there are many who do not believe the same way.  but, that too is of God.

claudia
« Last Edit: April 19, 2014, 02:37:30 AM by cjwood »
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Ian 155

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Re: Ashamed of my conduct
« Reply #15 on: April 19, 2014, 07:09:41 AM »

ha h ha Imagine what we would say if we had to give an account for all the Money we have received from God during our lifetime - when we were part of the world and whlst being a servant, now that would be interesting.

There is Now..... no condemnation for them that are in Christ who do not walk according to the flesh (rational human Mind) but are led/walked by the spirit 

so dont panic if you give, its done, and if you dont, it wasnt       
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Rene

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Re: Ashamed of my conduct
« Reply #16 on: April 19, 2014, 11:26:43 AM »

Over 30 years ago, I had an experience that still haunts me today due to my "lack of action."  I was standing behind an elderly lady in the grocery store and when her items were rung up, she did not have quite enough money to pay for everything in her basket.  As I stood there watching, I remember feeling so sad for her as she selected which items to return so as to have enough money to pay her bill.  I also remember this little lady had the sweetest looking face, although she was obviously embarrassed by what was happening, and of course, the cashier was looking impatient because this was holding up the line.

Immediately after I left the grocery store, I began feeling this overwhelming shame for not stepping up and helping this lady. I regret to this day that I did not have, at that moment, the presence of mind to have just paid the difference that was due.  Although this experience is very different from panhandlers asking for money, it has, however, affected how I handle any such situations. :'(

René
« Last Edit: April 19, 2014, 06:15:41 PM by Rene »
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Dave in Tenn

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Re: Ashamed of my conduct
« Reply #17 on: April 19, 2014, 01:32:10 PM »

Why are the poor always with us?
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octoberose

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Re: Ashamed of my conduct
« Reply #18 on: April 19, 2014, 03:25:26 PM »

Why are the poor always with us?

I have never thought to really ask that question- I've only accepted it's truth. But now it seems obvious the poor are with us to fulfill the will of God in their lives but also for us to show mercy and wisdom and love. Of course. Such a good question!

 Months ago I saw a woman on the side of the road with a sign and she had her head down and she was crying. My heart went out to her. I was in my car on a busy road and I had a doctors appointment I was almost late for. I wanted to stop, and I didn't want the doctor to wait (well, you know they don't wait, they charge you and give up your slot). So, I went to my appointment and when I was done I came back to where she had been sitting. I thought I would park the car and get out and speak with her- but to my regret she was gone. All I could do was pray that God would lead her to safety and a better way. I don't always react like that- as some have already said we have to respond to the Spirits leading.

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AwesomeSavior

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Re: Ashamed of my conduct
« Reply #19 on: April 20, 2014, 08:13:58 AM »

Alex:

Remember, Satan loves to use guilt and shame on all of us. It is one of his major attacks on everyone. He walks about as a roaring lion, seeking WHOM he may devour. Put on the helmut of salvation, which guards your mind, (Rejoice; again I say Rejoice!), and lift up your shield of faith (like your avatar does), which extinguishes every flaming arrow of the wicked one.

Dean
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