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Author Topic: DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS  (Read 3373 times)

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« on: May 16, 2014, 03:12:15 AM »


'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the Divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'

A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'
'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'
The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'

The graveside service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance...
The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.

Rhys 🕊

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« Reply #1 on: May 16, 2014, 04:52:57 AM »

Excellent, like the first one most of all......haha

Rhys  ;D


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« Reply #2 on: May 16, 2014, 10:13:02 AM »

Ahh I see, this should have been tiled 'For Men Only.' As a dreaded woman on this race, I guess it was not meant for me to find humor in this  ::)  Yes it is a delicate line we sometimes cross to find something to laugh at... but by insulting somebody else  ???

Oh right as mentioned on another thread I guess I need "to lighten up," okay I'll let you guys have your laugh, it's not the first time somebody is made fun of on here for laughs and certainly won't be the last. I'm not mad, just saying... sometimes I just need to say it.



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« Reply #3 on: May 16, 2014, 02:49:01 PM »

Hi Kat and other strong women of the forum,

As a simple male I do understand how being the subject of sexist humor might be off putting and I apologize for all males who use some of these stories to get a laugh. (smile men, this won't hurt)
So I must carefully and with true love and respect mention some thoughts that come to mind.
Please read and handle these thoughts with forgiveness toward me and a spoonful of sugar if needed.

As a husband of one wife of several decades and the father of two "strong" women I feel that I must also point out that females, women, ladies have the power to change that perception so that the laughter rings hollow in the ears of most men, especially men of grace and achievement in life.

Consider please that most little boys and even teen age boys are trained and prepared for life for the most part by their mothers and older sisters and later by their own young wives. The father's influence is often indirectly applied in daily life and tends toward the male ego.

I have often heard it said, even by men about other men, that you generally get the respect that you demand of others or better said the respect that you grant to others by your example.

Scripture instructs "wives" about how to gain the respect of their own husbands and along the way all the males in their family and usually the males of their wider community.

It is not always easy for women to concede, but when a man is respected in his community it is rare that any will dare to speak ill of that man's wife or even his obedient children.

Of course respect must be earned by both men and by women and there are valid or tested methods for accomplishing this purpose. Please consider a couple of Bible examples and let's comment on how these can be applied in our daily lives in a manner that is pleasing to our God.

Humble ole man, Indiana Bob

Eph 5:20  Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;
Eph 5:21  Submitting yourselves ONE TO ANOTHER in the fear [reverence] of God.
Eph 5:22  Wives, "submit yourselves" unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Eph 5:23  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Eph 5:24  Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Eph 5:25  Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Eph 5:26  That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Eph 5:27  That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Eph 5:28  So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Eph 5:29  For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
Eph 5:30  For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
Eph 5:31  For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
Eph 5:32  This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Eph 5:33  Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

= = =

Colossians 3:1
Since, then, you have been raised [elect] with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.

Titus 2:5
to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

And finally:

Tit 2:2  That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.
Tit 2:3  The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
Tit 2:4  That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
Tit 2:5  To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Tit 2:6  Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded.
Tit 2:7  In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity,
Tit 2:8  Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.
Tit 2:9  Exhort servants to be obedient unto their own masters, and to please them well in all things; not answering again;


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« Reply #4 on: May 16, 2014, 06:47:04 PM »

My wife and I have often talked about what the bible says about male and female responsibilities. We've both decided neither of us wants my job.

John from Kentucky

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« Reply #5 on: May 16, 2014, 06:58:34 PM »

Duh.  Everyone knows that women rule and men drool (over the women  :-*)


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« Reply #6 on: May 17, 2014, 11:13:47 AM »

i-bob, you are an awesome person.  i have learned much from your posts over the years.  your wife is blessed to have you for her husband.  and i am sure your daughters are proud of their dad.  just wanted to say i'm glad you are part of the forum.  a wise voice of experience. 




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« Reply #7 on: July 11, 2014, 12:36:49 PM »

I guess am catching up.  I really did laugh at these jokes.  As the older forum member knows it usually is very insulting to me.  The bashing of women can get out of control really easy and if you are coping with a husband who is insensitive to your needs and you are trying your best to walk close to Jesus.  Its hard

Eph 5:25  Husbands, love your own wives, even as the Christ also loved the assembly, and has delivered himself up for it,
Eph 5:26  in order that he might sanctify it, purifying it by the washing of water by the word,

then to go on our forum and hear it again, double hit. but bashing men too is....... hard on their ego
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