Its amazing to me how everything I learned here is quite the opposite from everything I learned from Christendom.
In Christendom I was lead to believe that everything is up to me as far as salvation, I was told God sends no one to hell but we send ourselves there by rejecting Christ or simply by sinning.
In Christendom I always felt like a failure, I was always pretending to be ok hoping I would somehow be able to stop sinning but lacked the ability. For years I was devastated inwardly and full of fear at the thought of the after life because of a false belief system I was taught.
Today my understanding has been enlighten to more truth than my entire life through B.T. however there are many things I don’t know or understand. I learned to look at people differently as a result of God’s truth that I’ve learned and have been totally blessed with.
I don’t believe the things in my life have change as a result of a more accurate knowledge of God’s truths in my life but I understand how I was made, why I sin and what God’s plans are for His creation.
My understanding today has taken me from a scary God to a loving God, perhaps in the end I’ll discover that being a failure is the very thing God wanted me to see and understand.
Surely God rules in the affairs of man and women alike and no one directs their own footsteps in this life, everything is by the grace of God.
Learning complete dependency most likely takes a lifetime, maybe another age. Trying to live a righteous life is impossible , I have failed most utterly and that is what God wants me to know an so I tarry on in this life knowing God is the only good thing in this universe and everything else is simply a failure.
I know the time will come when the goodness of God will see that His entire creation will live in perfect harmony and righteousness and until then the entire creation moans in expectation of that Grand and beautiful day when all things are made new.
And like the thief on the cross, all I can say is remember me when I enter your kingdom Lord.