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Author Topic: I feel so alone  (Read 13964 times)

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John from Kentucky

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Re: I feel so alone
« Reply #20 on: August 08, 2014, 02:58:28 PM »

 
The disturbing thing about this thread is the lack of repentance for the underlying sin.

Sorrow and pain over the effects of the sin.

Excuses and excuses to try and justify the sin.

And tea and sympathy from the gallery.



Jesus has already forgiven all sins.

But sin is not removed until there is genuine repentance, which comes from God.
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lilitalienboi16

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Re: I feel so alone
« Reply #21 on: August 08, 2014, 03:30:49 PM »


The disturbing thing about this thread is the lack of repentance for the underlying sin.

Sorrow and pain over the effects of the sin.

Excuses and excuses to try and justify the sin.

And tea and sympathy from the gallery.



Jesus has already forgiven all sins.

But sin is not removed until there is genuine repentance, which comes from God.

John I see what you're saying but don't take it out on your brethren. They are merely trying to comfort me and I am grateful for it. I think there is a time to confront a sin and a time to mourn and a time to comfort. We need to be patient with one another. Don't think ill of your brothers and sisters please, we are not all as forward as you and as courageous to confront ourselves while we yet grieve.

I am now at a crossroads though. I have repented and I am repenting. Though I wish the issue of marriage were more clear to me. What is marriage? A state of affairs recognized by a government? What does a piece of paper mean if the two in marriage are not committed to one another or there is infidelity? If the two in marriage fall out of love? Are these more just in the eyes of God than two who would live together and commit to each other wholly and faithfully without breach of trust and yet not be "married" as recognized by some government body? Tell me John, give me wisdom. What is the truth in such a matter? If in my heart I am wholly committed to her and our family, as a father and husband, do I need a piece of paper to recognize this bond to make it just in God's eyes? Is it not the heart that God searches? Can you explain please? I'm genuinely struggling to understand what God wants in this matter.

I want to do right by God and what is right period. I just don't know what it is in this matter right now. Clarity is needed.

Thank you and God bless,
Alex

P.S. This question is for anyone who can help shed light on the matter.
« Last Edit: August 08, 2014, 03:35:20 PM by lilitalienboi16 »
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1 Cor 1:10 "Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment."

John from Kentucky

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Re: I feel so alone
« Reply #22 on: August 08, 2014, 03:40:34 PM »

Your questions have come up before.

Ray gave an excellent scriptural study of this marriage question in the attached bible study.

http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,5675.0.html
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lilitalienboi16

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Re: I feel so alone
« Reply #23 on: August 08, 2014, 05:14:12 PM »

Your questions have come up before.

Ray gave an excellent scriptural study of this marriage question in the attached bible study.

http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,5675.0.html

Dear John,

Thank you for this. It was quite a revelation to hear. I listened to the part 1 audio and was blown away to see the connection of marriage all the way back to adam and eve.

I believe now that I must do what is right by God and cannot live in sin under Him any longer.

I am very fearful and barely have the courage to do what is right but I am praying for strength and guidance in this matter.

I believe I must, at the very least, make an effort for our "espousal" as ray put it, to make this right in God's eyes. I will ask her parents for their blessing to propose to their daughter and if they give it to me, then I will ask her.

She has already told me she would not marry me even if I asked because of how she feels right now but I must trust God and do what is right. This could very well be the needle that breaks the camel's back and push her away for good. I don't think it is right we continue living together if we are not espoused together after having listened to what ray and the scriptures teach on the matter. We must at the very least be promised to one another for marriage. I know espousal is as serious as if we were married but my commitment to her is such as it is now so to me it is all the same.

Again I am terrified to do this because the reality of it is that it may be the end of any hope if she rejects me and tells me that my pushing her has made her mind up for her.

Please pray for me... I don't know if I will seek her parents today but she is returning to stay with me this night and I know now that these things must be made right. I will need prayer and guidance, I am tempted to go now to her father and seek his permission but am not 100% certain.

Please pray for me dear brothers and sisters.

Kindly,
Alex

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1 Cor 1:10 "Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment."

Extol

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Re: I feel so alone
« Reply #24 on: August 08, 2014, 11:43:25 PM »

Hey Alex,

As I said before, I think the "piece of paper" is quite important. Even though some people with the piece of paper divorce, and others who never marry stay together their whole lives, that doesn't mean we should not make the commitment before God. Saying we don't need the marriage certificate is a convenient excuse for fornication--I think Ray taught us some important things about marriage, and for us who know better, we should take marriage pretty seriously.

You should listen to Part 2 of the marriage talk---in Part 2 he talks more about this issue: is it really just a piece of paper, can we be married without the paper, etc. Here are some of the best parts:

Well what about the email I got. If you just have to say, I love you as a husband and wife, and we’re married. So you could do this the very day you met. The first night… a one night stand, you go to bed and say I take you as my wife or whatever and now you are married? But what if that’s all it is, a one night stand and then you split up. So are you still married? Can you marry somebody else?  By this man’s own admission they are husband and wife.
 
Let’s say they are together a year. After a year of fornicating outside of marriage, they say, ‘let’s take each other as husband and wife. But we’re not going to have a ceremony, we’re not going to swear an oath, we’re not going to have an covenant, we’re not going to have witnesses, we’re not going to have a license, we’re not going to have it done legally, we’re not going to do it by the custom of the land you know. We’ll do it right here in bed.’ Now it’s a year or two later and they hate each other and they split. Does this person really tell me that for the rest of his life, he’s going to consider he’s married to that woman? I mean I may have been born at night, but not last night. He would no more consider himself married.

But now for arguments sake, to fight the system, you come across the super pious and religious and spiritual person and he’s got this spiritual marriage. There doesn’t need to be a marriage, it’s going to just be what he says and what he believes. So if they were together for a year or so, would they get a legal divorce, with a piece of paper? What if she claimed for the rest of his life, half of what he has is hers. Do you think he would go along with that? Probably not. What if he found another that he wanted to marry one night in bed? You think he would first say to his other ‘wife’ lets have a spiritual divorce together?
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ez2u

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Re: I feel so alone
« Reply #25 on: August 10, 2014, 02:32:58 AM »

alright you and this woman have a child together a daughter 3 years old and are you living together?  for how long? is this a common law marriage? is she a Christian?  yes christian live together now.  i know in relationships  sometimes you level off and feel like you don't care for the person as much as before but love is not like what we think it is,which is a movie.  Love is more subtle . being there each day doing and living its not romance as much as being a part of someones else  life.  sometimes a person doesn't know how much they learn to grow with another until that person dies.  sharing your lives together with a child is great motivator to be committed to each other. I don't believe the government has the rights on declaring marriages.  that is Gods doing.  It is always better to make that big step in a relationship by commitment to God.  That is what has held my marriage of 30 years together.  not the state. divorces destroy families, terribly hurts children ,separation do too.  that child needs both her parents. always working  together.  you have been working very hard to get ahead and become a doctor that is a lot of  pressure  my last three children has done the same in different fields going through colleges getting their jobs.  none of them are marriage, no children nor in a relationship.  you have bitten a big bite of the apple in a short time no wonder yo are sooo stressed.  i really mean what i have said here.  i don't believe you know how much you are doing in a very short time
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Abednego

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Re: I feel so alone
« Reply #26 on: August 10, 2014, 07:43:09 PM »

I have read that before where Ray talked about marriage.  And as usual, I didn't find anything there that I disagree with.  I understand the importance of the paper, but that teaching still leaves me with the biggest unanswered question, Where do you get the paper?


Matthew 19:6(KJV)
6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

The key here is what God has joined.  So how does God join you?

Not to pick, but let's use the Catholic church as an example.  They will give you that piece of "paper".  If you marry in the Catholic church and get divorced (which is a no no) they will not let you marry again.  And I know there are situations where you can remarry. I don't know any of the rules, but it doesn't matter for this issue.

If you get married in an Episcopal or Methodist church and get divorced, then you can get married in the Catholic church. Why?  Because according to them since you were never married in the Catholic church to begin with you were never really married. Huh?  And if you have children already that doesn't matter.

And then of course there's the body and blood that is part of the ceremony.  How does God view this and is He really joining you here?

Just about any other denomination you can name will also give you that piece of paper, but the person performing the needed ceremony, will be preaching some of the most damnable heresies know to mankind.  Is God joining you through all that? I don't know.

So, ok, let's just go with a justice of the peace.  Well, they might honor any vows you want to say, but does it matter what they believe?  They'll marry people from any denomination, and we all know how denominations vary in their beliefs.  So is it ok to get married by a JP if he believes people are going to suffer in an eternal hell?  Or maybe doesn't even believe in God for all I know.  Does God join people under such a person? I don't have an answer.

I'm just glad I'm married now, because if I found Ray's teaching before I met my wife I would not have been able to marry her without searching and learning more.  Yet all is of God so I know I'm supposed to be with her.

Not trying to rain on you Alex, your situation isn't exactly stellar.  Don't know what I would do if I were you.  Maybe I'm really over-thinking this, and some of the wiser people here can fill me in on something I'm missing.

FWIW, I am getting an idea on marriage, but this isn't the place for it, and if I told anyone what I was thinking, they'd call the men in the long white coats.  It isn't on the top of my study list atm, but some day I hope to have the time to look into it.


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lilitalienboi16

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Re: I feel so alone
« Reply #27 on: August 11, 2014, 04:24:15 PM »

Jesse, Virginia and Abednego, thank you for your comments.

I especially appreciate the thoughtful perspective you've provided Abednego. I think you make interesting points.

I suppose this is between the Father and myself on this one and no one can really give me a clear cut answer on what to do next. I'm praying and doing my best to obey Him in hopes of some deliverance from this delima.

I did take some steps to speak with her father, who had some harsh words for me but I appreciated his candor. In the end her father told me he doesn't know what I should do but that being engaged doesn't fix problems in and of itself. We have to take steps to address the issues that have caused us to reach this point in our relationship.

I appreciated his wisdom and did agree with him in this regard. However, I cannot ignore God's judgement and chastisement either in this matter. I've done my best in this difficult situation to heed the words of our Lord with the current understanding He has bestowed upon me and by His Grace He will give me His blessing and continue to guide me in what I should do to make this right.

God bless,
Alex
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1 Cor 1:10 "Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment."

octoberose

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Re: I feel so alone
« Reply #28 on: August 12, 2014, 03:17:22 AM »

Alex, if this thread has shown you anything it should remind you that you are not alone. Your God loves you enough to show you the Way, to be the Way, to correct you and discipline you because he loves you. And those of like minds and hearts hurt with you- even though it's easier for us  to see where you have strayed from God's wisdom in your life.
I'm so sorry about the little girl who you have raised as your own.  I'm so sorry her mother has rejected you and how painful that is. But, my friend, they were never yours to begin with. It is not just the ring and the paper you lack, it's the covenant.
 You are going to come through this . You hold on.  God hasn't left you, but He  is molding you.
 
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