Being married twice?

[rickylittleton]

I don't mean to kick dust on a subject that has been talked about, but I have found that one must be careful when we start looking into others people lives, and then start passing judgment on weather their being together, or weather their marrage is proper in the eyes of God! Many years ago when I first came into the Pentecostal church, I noticed that there were many middle to older women who were alone, and by them selves. These women had uprooted and left the man they were married to because they wanted to stay saved. The husband was a good honest man, but the women left them because some judging hypocrite taught them that if  they wanted to be "saved" you got to leave that man. Most of them left the husband with a broken heart, the man not understanding or misunderstanding "how can my wife get in a church, wanting to be saved, and they have taught her to leave me". The people were teaching people that if they had been married 2 times, then if they wanted to stay saved, { they must leave that husband }. It was one of the biggest pile of church junk I have ever seen. These same clucking church hen's, then tried to get in everybody business of marrage, until the pastor put a stop to it and told these religious fools that," YOU GAVE AWAY YOUR HUSBAND'S, NOW SOMEBODY ELSE GOT THEM, AND NOW YOU DON'T WANT NO BODY ELSE TO HAVE A HAPPY MARRAGE, AND WANT THEM OLD, MEAN, HELLISH, AND FRUSTRATED JUST LIKE YOU". Folks just want to to control other folks with their judgment's. They come up with their own personal dogma's, and then try to inflect it upon other people Live's, and this is wrong! When one start fooling with other people marrage's, then they are not being teacher's, but "judges", and it's wrong. Ray and I were talking of matters as these, and we both agreed that there are some things that need to be left up to the judgment of God! I am thankful for my wife of almost 22 years! It's my second marrage, and I hurt many folks feeling who came to me with this junk on when I decided to remarry. Just wanted to share, for this is a problem that is still going on. Tim

[arion]

Hi Ricky;

On my way to town this morning I was musing about the fact that I never married.  There are benefits to being single but also detriments as well.  The economy sucks and we live in a violent world.  I was thanking God as I was driving that I would never have to struggle with providing for my wife and children or how to do my part to keep them safe.  Of course on the flip side I'll never have the fellowship and union that is supposed to come from marriage either.  And then too, I've been spared the heartache of broken and toxic relationships as well.

I think that some feel that if they give credibility to divorce and remarriage that somehow they are condoning sin on behalf of one partner or the other, ect.  I think what they might forget or have never come to understand is that God is sovereign in his creation.  If God knew that any were to be divorced and/or remarried before that person was even born then it simply had to be.  There is no way the individuals involved could change what God knew was going to happen.  And as we've been taught from the scriptures; God is responsible for these things but we are accountable for our part in it because from our perspective we make our own choices.  Some of the more judgmental fellows forget or have never come to terms with the fact that we don't have a free will in the matter.

That doesn't give us a 'pass' as some may think.  We all have many things to repent of and repentance is a process.  Goes back once again to 'Who has resisted God's will' and of course everybody has.  But 'Who has resisted God's plan' and of course that answer is nobody.  Hindsight is 20/20.  There are decisions that we all regret and if we could do it over we would change them.  But then how could we learn the lessons that God is teaching us in the process?

The fruit of those who are legalistic in these matters would heap more pain and misery into a situation that needs to be healed.  And one thing that I'm learning is that I can't be the holy spirit for others.  Maybe when I eradicate every vestige of sin and personal shortcomings from my life then perhaps I'll be able to set other people straight.  Let God be God.

[rickylittleton]

I understand where you are coming from and I fully agree with what you responded to. As Paul said, to some, marrage is for them, for others, they stand back from it. I suppose in every married life, the words have come to mind,"If I were not married, I would not be enduring this or that". And you know as well as I, in any relationship between a man and woman, there comes heartache and heart break! As a song writer said,"You got to give a little, take a little, and let your pure heart bread a little, that's the story of love".

Men, especially in the religious circle, has took what God has ordain, and turned it inside out, and made a mess of it. God said, it's not good that man should be alone, there fore I will make him a help that is fit for him. That's where Eve came in. Now I am not saying that it's God will for every man to marry, some people do better with just Jesus and them selves, as Paul said, and some people need to married because they need some one else in their lives, long story short.

The point is, as you said, it's so easy to be a dogmatic legalistic, but take no account of who is getting damage, perhaps wounded mentally and spiritually for life, and I have seen it happen to so many people.

I guess that why my heart desire is,"Even so, come Lord Jesus". I am convinced that there are many thing that will stay confussing to us until Jesus comes and straighted it out. Tim