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[lilitalienboi16]

Really really stinks ya know guys? Oh don't mind me, just publicly venting about my common failures to reign in the beast and all his lustful adventures. Feel free to join in, sympathize, ignore, criticize, whatever you'd like to do. Just let there be no illusions, I am a great sinner and Jesus is a great Saviour. Those are about the only two things I know in this life with absolute certainty.

The worst is when I think of my beautiful fiance, her supportive, smart, caring, loving nature towards me and how not only do I sin against my God but I betray her in secret with my shameful acts. I know, we've had this discussion ad nauseum and i've been here time and time again. I really don't want to have to wait till i'm 60+ or the next life for these hormones to die down or things to change. Its just not fair... and here I thought I was somethīng special, that the Lord would save me differently than the rest of those men before me whom He called and justified. Yea right Alex, why would you get some special treatment in the process, maybe skip a few steps? Hah!

So here is your brother, the hypocrit! Take a good look at him.... all the wisdom and knowledge wont save me. My free will, even if it did exist, would surely only drive me to sin against God infinitely more. So what is a hormonal filled twenty something year old to do? Beg for mercy and pray for the patience to wait on God until the appointed time... And yet I cant get away from my shame and disgrace. Maybe its such a long process, wrestling with the lust of the flesh--that is sexual immorality (masterbation, there I said it)--so that we NEVER forget it, not even in the coming ages.. so we are forever grateful to be free from it. So that humility becomes a very core part of our being... I certainly feel humbled but I guess I'm not quite there yet.

Ladies, girls, mothers, women, i don't mean to neglect you, leave you out of this discussion, or forget you; Nevertheless, I am but a boy and cannot imagine your struggles, though im sure whatever they are ( if God is real and He certainly is), they can feel as a noose around your neck as my own sins are to me. We are naked before God as He shines His light upon us and we transition towards Him. Ever closer we are dragged towards the Fire that is His being and ever more are we made aware of our own weaknesses and great need for Him in everything we do, think, and say. None can hide from Him, there is no secret He cannot find out. There is no cave or rock that will keep His eyes off us. As we grow to hate the beast, as we wrestle and agonize over this moral futility, God makes us a promise. A wonderful promise that one day we will be like Him. In Jesus is all creation vindicated because He affirms its destiny. Truly the last Adam. That day cannot come soon enough. I am tired of failing.

What I offer each one of you is my deepest love and understanding of your struggles, sufferings, and failures because I ain't got a leg to stand on. I am nothing, the lowest of the low, but I love each one of you so very deeply. Nevermind we've never met, I love you and i'm here for you and I mean it.

Sincerely yours In The Saviour i am not worthy to even be a slave of,
Alex

[lauriellen]

Alex, thanks for sharing and being so honest. We all struggle with something. I have come to believe it is our thorn in the flesh to keep us humble. I have too many to count,  but every once in a while, God lets me have a tiny victory in something that I am struggling with, and it is very humbling to know that it is His strength, not mine, and it also gives me joy to see Him produce even a small 'fruit' of the spirit. I have given many many hours of thought trying to understand why our life is this way....I know all that happens is part of God's plan, so I try to just be thankful for the good days, thank God when the bad days are over and keep asking for faith to believe that it's all going to work out. I am grateful to you and all who share and post here.

[Rhys 🕊]

I like Ray's reply here concerning this


http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,4098.msg31284.html#msg31284

You are not alone out there with this particular pull of the flesh for sexual gratification. It is common among all men (and women to a somewhat lesser extent).  It is GOOD that we should feel embarrassed over our sins. My past sins are an embarrassment to me when I from time to time think about them. If they were NOT an embarrassment to me, I might still be committing these same stupid and lustful acts.  Embarrassment and guilt are good for us. These feelings first make us realize that these things are lustful, and wrong, and stupid.  But we will not have victory over them unless and until God reveals to us their real purpose and need to get rid of them.

Where did the mechanism by which Eve:  "saw that the tree was GOOD FOR FOOD, and that it was PLEASANT TO THE EYES, and a tree to be desired to MAKE ONE WISE..." come from in the first place?  Did SHE create these desires in her heart and mind and soul?  Get real--SHE HAD NOT A CLUE!  God created humanity in the spiritually weakened state in which we find ourselves, but there is a great and grand reason and purpose for it.

There is a "SPIRITUAL GREATNESS" that is achieved by the conquering of illegal pulls [spiritually 'illegal'] of the flesh and the stupid sensual lust for self-gratification.  These things are not good, in and by themselves, as modern psychologists might try to convince us, but they do serve a good purpose when they embarrass us and make us feel guilty. Embarrassment and guilt are the precursors to REPENTANCE.

We must come to the place in our lives where we not only desire to obey the laws of the land, the powers ordained by God to somewhat limit the evils of society, but to also obey the Laws of GOD.  We want and desire to do what God says, not because we have figured out all the logical logistics of His commandments, but because we desire to OBEY HIM REGARDLESS of how well we understand all the reasons why God tells us to do and not do certain things.

Christians will argue;  "Well I don't see the harm in teaching my little ones about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny."  Of course they don't. To their carnal minds the commandment of God to "Learn NOT THE WAY OF THE HEATHEN" has little or no effect on their attempt to worship God as they please.

When you see the "SIN in sin" and start to hate sin as God hates sin, then and only then will you make progress in eliminating these things in your life. Of course, you know, when I say such things it means that God is bringing this about in your thinking and God is enabling you to have to the power to actually conquer these pulls of the flesh.  All we who have had a measure of success in victory over sin to the point that sin "no longer has DOMINION over us" (Rom. 6:8-19), desired to be free from sin LONG BEFORE IT EVER ACTUALLY CAME ABOUT! I believe that most of my readers will say "A-men" to that!

Be patient and do not stop crying out to God for deliverance, for in time God will grant you the fruit of righteousness.

God be with you,

Ray


All this helps me but I still have my struggles as do most but what Ray says here is so true

When you see the "SIN in sin" and start to hate sin as God hates sin, then and only then will you make progress in eliminating these things in your life.

When you hate it like that then why will you go there again. It's the getting to that place which is part of the unpleasant place of our walk in His truth. God has His time for all of us.

And a big Amen to what Ray says about desiring to be free long before it came about. Being in that place where it has no dominion over you is a wonderful place to be but getting there is not easy. In the mean time you wish you could do it in your own strength but you can't and that's part of the process that God is working out in us and discovering why these things are there and the role they play in our lives. Good news is you and I recognise these things for what they are and all will be well once the work He started is complete.

I have found as time goes on I think I am doing well in various areas and think I am there only to fall again. We deceive ourselves thinking we have arrived at our destination only to realise yes it's nice here but it's not the destination and God has something more yet to do.

Need to understand this

2Co 10:17  "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."
2Co 10:18  For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.

Rom 11:17  But if some of the branches were broken off, and you, although a wild olive shoot, were grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing root of the olive tree,
Rom 11:18  do not be arrogant toward the branches. If you are, remember it is not you who support the root, but the root that supports you.
Rom 11:19  Then you will say, "Branches were broken off so that I might be grafted in."
Rom 11:20  That is true. They were broken off because of their unbelief, but you stand fast through faith. So do not become proud, but fear.
Rom 11:21  For if God did not spare the natural branches, neither will he spare you.


Rhys

[friendofJC]

Alex, God knows we will make mistakes.  I thinks its important that real caring dominates your life so it reigns over lust.  I know giving in creates a habit to satisfy your desires.  Then self control becomes more difficult each time you gratify your sexual desires. Afterwards, guilt comes. Just want to let you know your not alone in the struggle as God humbles us.  It takes his spiritual power to stop this and he only gives it if you really, truly, want it!  A righteous man falls completely and love does cover a multitude of sins.

[John from Kentucky]

I really don't want to have to wait till i'm 60+ or the next life for these hormones to die down or things to change. ---Alex

     Yeah, I know what you mean Alex.  Every old geezer who hits 60 should get measured for his coffin.  For good measure, we should just go ahead and bury old men.


One thing to consider.  The Scriptures say God will have sons and daughters in the ages to come.

The differences between a spiritual son and a spiritual daughter would be sexual differences because, if they were identical, then they would not be sons or daughters, they would be its. 

So, what if a spiritual male finds a spiritual female attractive?  Wouldn't that be a hoot!

[lilitalienboi16]

Thank you everyone for your encouragement, compassion, and humor

The Lord this past week has been working overtime to let me know He is right here with me directing my steps. I am humbled, in awe, grateful, repentant, bursting with joy and more. I'll share with you all some of those little things hes done for me recently perhaps in the near future. For now though.... i bury my head back in the medical books.

With love,
Alex

[AwesomeSavior]

Alex:

I struggled greatly with this sin for 31 plus years, and would never be so arrogant as to say that I am completely free of it, for that is walking in my own power, and not of the Lord.

I recently skimmed through the book of Job, and am learning that self confidence is a great precursor to any fall in own my life. For example, whenever I walk around feeling "on top of the world", is when I am especially vulnerable; that feeling eventually departs and I am left in my own weakness. But even when I do sin, I KNOW that the incredibly bitter "experience of evil from Elohim" is slowly and steadily imparting His spirit of humility unto me. It is a lifetime of stumbling and falling, and then slowly learning from the Lord.

You are familiar with the verse: "I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me". I sometimes will think of that verse in this way:
i…can do all things…THROUGH JESUS CHRIST…who strengthens "me". That reminds me to have a LORD perspective, and not a "dean" perspective. Sometimes it will also bring to mind this verse: "Don’t boast about tomorrow, for you don’t know what the day may bring" (Proverbs 27:1).

It is a long journey we are on: "But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid". (Matthew 14:27)

The Lord Bless!

Dean

[arion]

Alex;

Age does help as the natural drives begin to diminish as you get older.  I see all these commercials on TV for guys with ED and testosterone supplements who like to brag that things are like they were when they were 17 years old and I'm thinking to myself 'You dummy, I'm just grateful that I'm not driven to excess like I was when I was younger'.  In this area of life I'm glad to be getting a bit older and that I'm not as tempted in certain areas like I was when I was younger. 

My disappointment however is that this particular sin seems not to grab me as much not because I've overcome it but because the natural drives are not as strong.  I would like to be able to say that I've conquered this particular pull of the flesh because of staying close to the Lord, praying about it and becoming more 'spiritual'.  But I'm afraid that the truth is I'm just getting a bit older.  Regardless, of the cause I'm just happy that this is one thing that is subsiding.  But don't envy the older guys too much as there are always things waiting to take our efforts and attention.

When your younger and look at yourself in the mirror when your standing in the buff you see youth, vigor, perhaps a slim, trim and muscular body, ect.  When you get older you really don't want to stand in front of the mirror the way God made you because your now seeing things that you really don't want to see.  Your seeing some wrinkles, some or a lot of grayer hair [if you still have a lot of hair LOL] as well as unsightly bulges that are not caused by being muscular.  In addition you discover that you frequently have various aches and pains that you never did before.  When your young you can get up, throw some tennis shoes on and run for 5 or 10 miles with hardly any stretching at all.  For me now if I don't stretch for twenty minutes before running three miles I know I'll pay for it later.  The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence you know.

[John from Kentucky]

Thanks be to God I still find women attractive, even more so as the years go by.

I find them immensely fascinating.  God's best creation.   

One other thing being attracted to women tells me.  I'm not dead yet!   

[Mike Gagne]

Hi Alex, the Bible says...

Job 33:27-28   (KJV)

27  He looketh upon men, and if any say, I have sinned, and perverted that which was right, and it profited me not;
28  He will deliver his soul from going into the pit, and his life shall see the light.

Jas 5:16  Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

Alex may God heal you and His will be done in your life in Jesus Name.

[Mike Gagne]

Thanks be to God I still find women attractive, even more so as the years go by.

I find them immensely fascinating.  God's best creation.   

One other thing being attracted to women tells me.  I'm not dead yet!   

Great stuff John, you got two witnesses for that?

[arion]

Thanks be to God I still find women attractive, even more so as the years go by.

I find them immensely fascinating.  God's best creation.   

One other thing being attracted to women tells me.  I'm not dead yet!   

Great stuff John, you got two witnesses for that?

Three.  Me, myself and I!   

[Doug]

Hi Alex,

Sorry to bring bad news but I am 61 and find this to still be the thing that gives me the most pain for not being able to overcome. I have had major health problems and things got to the point that I was very proud to have more or less overcome this sin. However, God decided he was going to vastly improve my health and back came the fight against lust. It is not an easy path we are on but I do notice without thinking many times my eyes will turn away. It ultimately will be in God's time and way that we overcome any sin. We just have to remember it is a process and God is in control. I am not sure of being one of the elect. It could well be I have so much to overcome that God is just starting early and will continue after Christ returns.

[lilitalienboi16]

Hi Alex, the Bible says...

Job 33:27-28   (KJV)

27  He looketh upon men, and if any say, I have sinned, and perverted that which was right, and it profited me not;
28  He will deliver his soul from going into the pit, and his life shall see the light.

Jas 5:16  Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

Alex may God heal you and His will be done in your life in Jesus Name.

Thank you Michael, I really like those verses you shared.

God Bless,
Alex

[Dave in Tenn]

When your young you can get up, throw some tennis shoes on and run for 5 or 10 miles with hardly any stretching at all.  For me now if I don't stretch for twenty minutes before running three miles I know I'll pay for it later. 

Now that's just plain bragging.  I have to stretch twenty minutes before putting on my tennis shoes.

[lurquer]

Since Alex started this thread with his lament of his "lust of the flesh--that is sexual immorality (masterbation,[sic] there I said it)", I've been wondering exactly what you guys mean.

Is masturbation mentioned in the scriptures, per se?  No.  I don't really need to know your definition of the word Alex, and others, but I wonder if you are confusing it with something else... 

Do you guys really mean 'looking at porn'?

If so, I have your solution:  stop looking at porn.  Your affliction will cease. Believe me.

If you don't mean looking at porn, then what's the problem?  Are you worried about some erotic dreams you've awoken to?  So what?  Is that sin? Is washing it a little too long in the shower sin? 

And JFK:  you may not be physically dead, but if you, as an old man, have not yet learned to curb your lust for women, I can't see how you can possibly be spiritually 'alive'... You even seem proud of your weakness.   I find that interesting.

Also, FWIW, I'm 45, married, don't have "ED" or testosterone issues, and don't desire other women; I stopped looking at porn many years ago (the Lord delivered), and haven't had any "struggles" with guilt since...and I occasionally still wash it a little too long in the shower.  Big deal.

Feedback welcome...

[DEJI]

@Neo by saying "washing it a little too long in the shower" what exactly do you mean? I don't mean to antagonize you, I just want to understand what you mean

[lurquer]

Very funny, Deji.      But I'll defer to hearing Alex's definition as that's what I wondered about (though I don't need to know!)

Again, I suspect this oddly common topic here (which he, primarily, initiates) is really a sanitized way of saying certain people have a porn habit.  Which is a specific sin, and certainly scripturaly described as such...  Rather than the elusive "masterbation" [sic], which is a more nebulous subject that's sort of hard to really define. 

So, you see where I'm coming from.

If Alex's affliction is akin to my silly "washing it too long in the shower", then it is closer to the (apparently rather common) syndrome of picking one's nose and eating the contents.  I don't think that it's a moral sin, but it is certainly gross and maybe not something you'd discuss with friends at dinner--and certainly not with a forum of mostly strangers. 

So either he's being quite banal by bringing up such an unpleasant and useless subject for discussion, or he's "beating around the bush"  (excuse the pun if you perceived one) and is actually suffering from our common Western industrial disease of porn-watching.  For we are undoubtedly a porn-culture, so it stands to reason... And I doubt there would be anywhere close to the moral and physical (and psycho-sexual) problems in our society if every child were not subjected to this porn culture almost as soon as they learn to read. The consequences of which are life long and devastating.  Perhaps Alex is experiencing some of these consequences now..

Hence, I offered my advice, "if this is about porn, the solution is to 'stop watching it'"...  The symptoms will rapidly fade.  I know what I'm talking about. 

You get what I'm saying?

[DEJI]

I get what you are saying  . You seem to be talking from experience and I mostly agree with you. In Alex's case however, I don't think his struggle with masturbation is a result of a porn watching habit and I don't think he is being banal, He is only crying out for help. I am 31 unmarried and don't have ED and understand Alex perfectly, I was in a somewhat similar situation not too long ago.

[lilitalienboi16]

Hi Neo,

You have peaked my interest. When you boast about your masturbation in the shower, do you do it without thinking of anything sexual? When you do it, do you think of only your wife? If you think of other women you know that you are committing adultery in you heart with her correct?

Just curious as to your specifics here.

As for me personally, yes, you are partly correct. Putting it the way I did was a way of keeping things "pg" rated though I wouldn't call it a porn ADDICTION. I don't do it anywhere inappropriately or during inappropriate times but only in secret in moments of great weakness. Your advice is fantastic advice but also the hardest thing to do. I know only by God's strength can any sin be overcome. I do go through ups and downs though perhaps over the years this sin has faded (thank God!) but it is the fact that it occurs, even if less frequently, that makes it so tormenting and shameful. I am still a sinner, let there be no illusions about it.

I want to get to a place where lust has no power over me, that even masturbation become alien to my being. I highly doubt Jesus settled for just masturbating as being okay and I doubt the apostles did eithetr. I just can't picture John the apostle spending his free time on patmos masturbating. I just don't want to do any of it. I will only please my wife because it is my Godly duty when I am married to her not to neglect her needs and desires.

Call me overzealous and unrealistic but this has been a desire of mine going back to as early as when I was sixteen and struggling with testosterone coursing through my veins. Struggling through the growing pains of puberty and all it does to a boy. I shared this struggle of mine from the very beginning because it was at the start of all these carnal lutsful desires that the Lord made Himself known to me. By the grace of God I will get to that place and maybe I never will but I will keep crying out, as Deji put it, until the day that I do, or I die. I just can't settle for anything less than the total victory of Christ in me. Why would anyone of us want less knowing what we know now?

God bless,
Alex