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My girlfriend

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Mortemir:
Me and my girlfriend had a discussion about raising kids in the future.

She would like to bring the kids to the church every sunday and be more part of the church. I have explained her my belief and all that.

My problem is that i am uncertain how to respond, because i believer (probably not enough knowledge) in bibletruths.com.

I do not want to go back/join  the church again, because i would just think most of it is wrong.

If you look it in another way. If i had a girlfriend who was a atheist, then i would almost never share my belief and talk so much about God.

What kind of experience do you have?

DEJI:
I suppose marrying an atheist isn't even an option because your beliefs are opposing each other. being married to a "Christian" won't be much fun either. I understand How you feel, I am in a somewhat similar situation but I am not dating anyone. I am almost getting used to the idea that I'll never marry.

indianabob:
Good morning friend Mortemir,

As a grandfather with four adult children I can say that the most important thing to plan for regarding child rearing is unconditional love.
Unconditional love requires a parent's full attention and lots of quality time.
Unconditional love is best expressed within a position of respect from the child toward the parents. We cannot buy a child's respect with favors, it must be earned with love.

A child will come to love responsible parents automatically over time, the more important thing is to first earn their respect. Earning a person's respect requires a plan, a giving attitude and that plan will develop according to the personality of the parents. So you will need to do some research as you form a plan that both you and your wife understand and accept.

The plan needs to be flexible and yet long lasting, almost permanent. Children need dependable parents. To know that the parents will always provide a home and loving protection no matter what difficulties life brings to the family. Even in relative poverty, children will understand and respect their parents when love is the primary goal in the family unit.

So then, before you start a new family, make up your mind that it will be as long as you both shall live.  :)

Indiana Bob

Kat:

Hi Mortemir,

Well I happen to think it's okay to marry somebody how does not have their minds open to this truth... IF they they are not steeped in religion/Christianity and are totally accepting of how you believe. I think waiting for a believer that you feel is right for you, is unlikely to say the least. And marriage to a unbeliever can work, it does for me.

Where your children are concerned, you are responsible for instructing them about the gospel of Christ... they really need to know the Bible stories and names of the people and it's good to start at an early age. Now parents can use the many books available that are on a child's level to teach them.

But I just could not go to a church to be instructed and preached at and interact with the people and listen to their conversation about their beliefs... as their understand is so dramatically different from what I/we believe. I mean how would you hold your tongue and not debate with them constantly? And what good would that do anyway, but create a confrontational and adversarial atmosphere every time you were there. I think it's the thing you cannot mix the new with the old.

Luke 5:37  And no one puts new wine into old wineskins; or else the new wine will burst the wineskins and be spilled, and the wineskins will be ruined.

I would not want and don't think I could be a part of a church that I disagreed with so completely on what they teach. And they would not want me there either... debating would eventually get you kicked out.

Now an option you might consider, if your girlfriend is insistent that children need to go to church. When they are school age just take them to Sunday school, drop them off and pick them up. Actually this is what my own parents did, they were not church goers at the time, so they took us to Sunday school. I know that is not ideal, but some churches have very active children department classes, where they can learn a lot about the Bible stories and enjoy the activities and you would have minimal contact with it. Of course you could/should certainly give your children further instruction at home. It's not a ideal solution, certainly would not be right for everybody, but maybe for some where a parent really desires the children to be churched, it is an options.

Anyway just wanted to give you my thoughts.

mercy, peace and love
Kat

arion:
Hi

And welcome to the forum.  First of all you know that God is in control....right?  I understand that you want to do that which is right as we all do.  We have to be 'in' Babylon in order to come out of Babylon.  Also keep in mind that there is nothing that we can do in and of ourselves to bring someone to spiritual truth.  It has to be learned through trial and experience.  The end result will be for all to bend the knee and to declare that Jesus Christ is Lord.  You would be unable to convince your girl friend apart from God's influence that the church is part of the problem.  She has to discover that in time [if God is working in her] as you did.  This isn't an issue that I would personally dig my heels in over. 

God bless,

Doug

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