first of all, i want to thank God that this forum is still here.
secondly, i want to thank john from ky for making me laugh. alot.
laughter indeed can be a good medicine.
on that note, i come asking for prayer. i have started this new topic request a few times, but kept deleting everything. thinking i only need my Father and Lord to help me through. that Father is full of love and mercy, and He directed me to come back to the fold of this forum for comfort. and prayer.
this past year, since 9/3/14, God caused my circumstances to change so dramatically that i didn't recognize who i was and what had become of my life. i started feeling hopeless, full of despair and depression. like, why try to be strong. just to get knocked down again. but, my Father would not let me give up. so, here i am.
i'm just gonna put the events of my past year in a list. maybe it will help in getting a better understanding of what has been going on. i know that each of us have to go through much tribulation, to become a child of God.
9/3/14 my divorce after 23 years became final. my ex moved to france to live with a man. he had been planning it for 5 years.
9/8/14 i turned 60 yrs old.
9/25/14 spoke to our brother, john chris, for the last time.
9/29/14 john chris dies.
10/17/14 flew to nyc with manuela to attend john chris' memorial service.
12/2/14 my mother has a heart attack, but does recover.
1/21/15 my only brother dies unexpectedly at age 65, after shoveling snow off his and a neighbor's drive way. the last time i saw him alive was in the hospital in december when he came to help with our momma. his last words to me were "i love you claudia jean".
1/28/15 one of my first cousins dies from als.
3/7/15 my 12 yr old constant companion dog is diagnosed with lymphoma.
5/27/15 my sweet dog dies.
7/2/15 my momma is admitted back into the hospital due to heart issues. she goes home from the hospital on 7/16. she's readmitted again on 7/22 (my daughter's b'day), and never leaves the hospital.
8/4/15 my momma dies, while i, and one of my sisters along with her daughter, stood by momma's side. i have never experienced anyone dying. other then my pets. this death dug its' grief so deep into my heart and soul that i could only stand there and keep saying "in the twinkling of an eye momma. in the twinkling of an eye". she was in hospice care for 4 days, and died of congestive heart failure. i spent part of every day at the hospital, and stayed many nights with her. rotating with my 3 sisters. i have to say, death sucks for those of us left behind. really sucks. i hate it and i am so, so happy that on the Lord's Day death will be no more.
9/8/15 my first birthday without my momma. only me and my 3 sisters, and a few other family members. it was hard to get through the day without continuing to wail like a little girl.
9/27/15 my ex-husband comes back to austin for the weekend (to my surprise). he calls me to let me know he was in town. see pics of him on facebook with our old friends, saying "just like old times". i realize how glad i am that he moved out of town. it's just too hard seeing him still drinking and partying, and smiling with all the women. ( in know jfk, you're saying, what's wrong with drinking and smiling at all the women.
) need to unfriend him. i guess it's time. way past time.
anyway, the quick succession of all of the events on this list caused me to realize that life is all about change. as hard as that is to accept sometimes. for me at least. my life looks so different now. there seem to be ghosts everywhere i look around my house and yard. and at my sister's house where our momma was living.
please pray that our God and Father will cause me to grow in His faith and hope. that my depression will lift and turn to joy.
i know He is already showing me my next "assignment". my only child is 6 mths pregnant with a little boy. her due date is in january. this will most likely be their only child, my only grandchild. God is good. all the time. the good, bad, and ugly times.
i love you all,
claudia
Author
Topic: prayer (Read 4679 times)