I honestly do not know where to begin, and still attempt to write a half-way decent, understandable post. I'll just start and hope for the best....but I don't think I'll be able to really cover everything in this first post, because there's so much to say, and I go "way back".....a long history of "been there-seen that-heard that-done that" etc. I've been reading here for several weeks and have recently joined, finally. I've been meaning to post before now, but I get started reading and it's been somewhat overwhelming....in the good sense of the word. To get started with one area, has led to another area, and another, etc. I'm reading some of the series, the emails, the forum.....in between shedding tears, grinning and laughing, complete spiritual dumbfoundness, and praying. And I just can't get enough of it.........it's much like when it was so many years ago, when He first led me to Him, and I couldn't read the bible fast enough to satisfy the spiritual thirst. Since I was dropping off my two young daughters at a local Nazerene vacation bible school, at the time, we started there. I very quickly stopped going, and sought the Lord to where I was suppose to go, etc. ... All these years of harboring these doubts, and questions, etc. about the mainstream churches, including the non-denominational churches and groups.....and wondering why?....why did I "see" some things, that others obviously didn't? I've gone from starting at home, reading and praying on my own.....to several denominational mainstream, to full gospel, to a faith cult group, back to home studying on my own, to several non-denominational churches and organizations, and now, back "home" again....truly where He wants me now. Little did I know .... about 30 years ago, when I first ask Him for wisdom, that I'd recieve it in such ways......That last sentence was said with "humor".....I've made alot of mistakes with and in my life, but after each time, I "swore" I'd learn my lesson.....well.......I'm at the age and place that now I hope above all else that that is true now. And perhaps, alot of those mistakes were lessons given in order to gain experience. In all these years, I never left Him or anything like that. I was just making alot of personal blunders with my life, while I was going through the "looking for a church process". And I realize now that I was right all along.....I do not "need" to belong to any worldly church or organization, etc. A few months ago, I couldn't let go of the parable of the Shepard and the one lost sheep that he went after. It was like...on my mind all the time. I felt that He was gently nudging me back to his flock of sheep. It was shortly afterwards that I found Ray's website. I think everyday that I read and study here, I learn something new. When I first mentioned that it seems "overwhelming" in the good sense of the word...it is doing something spiritually.....there's a 'letting go' and then a new found freedom for the truth of His precious Word. And then, there is SO much to learn and re-learn. And I'm not whinning about that, either...It's just totally awesome! I go to sleep pondering "things". . . .I wake up in the mornings ponderings "things"....I sit and read as many times as I can during the day and evenings, and I have many other areas left to study, but I've been going first, over some of the more pronounced doctrines or studies. It's a wonder that I can get anything else done in my apartment. Just joking ! I'm trying to maintaine a balance, at least. I'm happy to be here on the forums and look forward to sharing more with the ones here....and I do have alot more to share. Perhaps something, somewhere, will help someone else, or like myself, will just bring a smile, a nod, or just plain "make their day"
Thanks for listening,
Scribbles