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I feel horrible
pg-91:
Hi Jesse,
Thank you once again for your thoughts. It was very interesting to me to read your insights about these professions and your examples from everyday life. I see that in the this world it's very difficult to find a job which is "perfect" in all respects.
Yeah, I read the e-mails which you linked, and I absolutely agree, that guilt and embarrassment can be good for us. I, myself started to first read about Jesus Christ and what he did, about 4 years ago when I was at a very low point because of guilt. But, my problem is, that I think now these same memories and feelings of guilt are driving me away from God not to God like back then. If I understand correctly Ray meant victory over sins in the last sentence in your copied quote. I'm wondering, is there such a thing as victory over feelings? God's foreknowledge I suppose, includes our feelings too. Maybe I have to experience these feelings, and this crazy OCD, now?
Extol:
Dear George,
Yes, you have to experience these feelings now, and yes, there is victory over feelings:
Isa. 51:11-So the ransomed of the LORD will return And come with joyful shouting to Zion, And everlasting joy will be on their heads. They will obtain gladness and joy, And sorrow and sighing will flee away.
Rev. 21:4-and God shall wipe away every tear from their eyes, and the death shall not be any more, nor sorrow, nor crying, nor shall there be any more pain, because the first things did go away
Try not to get discouraged when you "feel" like you're being driven from God. That is part of the process too. There have been times--very recently--when I have thought "I've known these truths for nearly 10 years, and I am still such a mess." Sometimes it seems like I am more carnal than I was before I even came here. But I don't make the rules. I don't make the timeline. I feel like I should be "farther along" by now, but it's God who is doing the work in me. If I need more experience, and need to be humbled more (and I most assuredly do), I'm not going to automatically have victory just because my eyes have been opened to certain things. To assume that I should have overcome my sins by now is to insinuate that God doesn't know what He's doing...and I know that's not true.
pg-91:
Dear Jesse,
Thanks for the encouraging words. Yes, I also believe there will be victory over feelings,sins and everything when Christ returns, but what about this life? It's very hard for me to view things from that future perspective, when it's so difficult to live with this OCD and guilt.
Now I'm thinking about these stupid things which I made nowadays, to make this OCD worse, and I feel it's normal to be mad at myself and at the same time, I learned here that it couldn't have been otherwise - these truths are beyond me for now, I guess.
rick:
Hi pt- 91,
I have started many topics on the sovereignty of God which you most likely are aware of and though I name the threads differently and spoke of Gods sovereignty in different ways I somehow knew once fully understood would explain why everything that happens happens.
Understanding Gods sovereignty will not changed or alter any outcome in anyone's life but inspires one or even forces one to stop looking outwardly and start looking inwardly at ourselves the beast of Revelation.
Now understanding that everything we think do and say is of God and all these things we do have a cause behind it which is out of our control and are not in vain because these causes are the very thing that God intended so that we will experience good and evil and will also produced character and build virtue.
It's my personal belief that understanding the sovereignty of God is the first order of operation of spiritual growth one should seriously consider.
All that we go through goes back to the garden of Eden when God said let us be making man in our image.
Maybe one should consider that God is getting us to think about everything we think do and say using and reigning in our emotions with each new thought and action we choose.
God bless.
pg-91:
Hi Rick,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Yes, I have read some of your threads on this topic with interest. I've found this forum and Ray's teachings not so long ago, and I guess for me also the sovereignty of God and our "free" will is the most difficult theme to grasp so far. Sorry, English is not my first language, could you explain to me, what you meant by your last sentence?
George
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