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Author Topic: MY NIECES WEDDING!?  (Read 5670 times)

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Kat

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Re: MY NIECES WEDDING!?
« Reply #40 on: August 31, 2016, 12:50:33 AM »


Well here's another idiom to go along with that, 'there's the rub' - asking for help, but not wanting advice...

mercy, peace and love
Kat
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octoberose

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Re: MY NIECES WEDDING!?
« Reply #41 on: August 31, 2016, 01:30:53 AM »

Gee Largeli, I didn't know you'd enjoy a 'wedding' only for the free food.  :o

 
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Flanagan

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Re: MY NIECES WEDDING!?
« Reply #42 on: September 01, 2016, 01:49:37 PM »

Jesus said we'd be persecuted 2Tim 3:12.  "division between"  Mat 10:34-37 . I'm afraid I agree with the majority. This is one of those times when you'll have to choose. I'm glad you brought it up though because my nephew has decided to become a woman. I could be faced with the same circumstance and now I've made my choice even before it has happened. God's love be with you
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lareli

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Re: MY NIECES WEDDING!?
« Reply #43 on: September 01, 2016, 03:11:00 PM »

Kat you asked...

Are you really trying to say that we are wrong to presume that somebody that attends a wedding ceremony is there to congratulate the couple on their marriage? You must be grasping at straws to hold that view... I mean what else would somebody be there for?

My answer... Yes. I am saying its wrong to presume to know what another persons motives, reasons, intentions are for attending a wedding or for doing anything for that matter. Definitely a lack of humility to tell someone what their reasons are for doing something especially after the person has told you otherwise. As if someone knows better than me what my reasons for doing something are.

The last 2 weddings I've been to, I could not even tell you what the grooms name was. I was there only because I was asked to be there.. Christ said if someone asks me to go one mile, go two. He didn't say 'gay marriages excluded'.

I was most definitely not there to give my approval. How could I approve of my cousin marrying a guy I don't even know? He might have been a total jerk, unbeliever, psychopath, or whatever... Besides that, I highly doubt I was invited in the first place so that I could offer my approval. Two adults don't need my approval. I'd have to think pretty highly of myself to believe that my precious approval of their union was being requested.

My reasons for going are usually free food, open bar, dancing, and seeing family that I usually don't see very often.

When I got married I could really care less if anyone 'approved'. I was 21 and my wife was 18 and 6 months pregnant so I'm pretty sure a lot, if not everyone, did not approve. Didn't matter. Come hang out, get some food, dance. Whatever. I'm sure some were there to witness the beginning of a possible future train wreck. Doubt anyone thought we'd be married for long.

I bet if you surveyed 100 people about their reasons for attending a wedding, free food/open bar would be in the top 3 while giving their approval would be somewhere near the bottom. So I really don't think I'm grasping at straws. 
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Kat

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Re: MY NIECES WEDDING!?
« Reply #44 on: September 01, 2016, 04:56:47 PM »


Okay largeli, I see where you are coming from. Your attitude is it's none of your business if the wedding is going against the basic principles of Scripture. I guess I'm coming from a perspective that as I have learned the truth then I hold a much greater responsibility as a witness to that which I believe. No I do not think I should or even need to preach and tell people what I believe to be truth, but I do believe that my words and actions can be a light or dark witness. We should be a light to this world.

Matt 5:14  "You are the light of the world. A city located on a hill can't be hidden.
v. 15  People don't light a lamp and put it under a basket but on a lamp stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.
v. 16  In the same way, let your light shine before people in such a way that they will see your good actions and glorify your Father in heaven."

You don't seem to be concerned with what was said in the ceremony vows which are spoken before God, there is usually a statement spoken at the end like this "If any of you can show just cause why they may not lawfully be married, speak now; or else for ever hold your peace."

It is my thinking if you believe the truth that homosexuality is a sin, and were present at a ceremony as a witness before God of the couple's union and that statement was spoken and you remained silent... that is a very loud witness to God and all that attended.

Going for food and visiting family, I guess that's one way to justify it... the same reasoning could be used for attending church and imo the reasons to come out of church and not attend a gay wedding would be pretty much the same.

mercy, peace and love
Kat
« Last Edit: September 01, 2016, 06:52:25 PM by Kat »
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indianabob

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Re: MY NIECES WEDDING!?
« Reply #45 on: September 03, 2016, 04:17:09 PM »

Hey Jimi,

I've read all the responses up to page 3 and there has been lots of valid advice and counsel, some corrective and some liberating so I have just one final comment to offer.

The calling we have received has many purposes of course, but among them is to gain an understanding of just how weak and carnal we all are and to learn how much we need God in our daily lives. So, if you attend the wedding and if God decides that you were wrong, then God will correct you and you will learn the lesson that God intended for you to learn.

The purpose of the calling is NOT only to work hard to be perfect in this life. The greater purpose is to start each day over when we wake up and to understand that if we have repented of our past sins and errors of yesterday that we now have a clean slate, as all of our past sins are washed away by the sacrificial blood of the savior.
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We are starting out clean and new and at least for a few minutes can face our God with open eyes and with a clear and clean conscience and talk to God as a beloved son speaks to his own father, fearing nothing.

So then if you decide to attend the wedding out of love for your niece and some problems develop from that decision, you have an advocate with the Father in the person of our Elder brother, our chief counselor and our Lord Jesus the Christ.

Put it all in his capable hands and relax and don't take unnecessary concern.

Kindly offered, Ole Indiana-bob





Hi all, I have a small dilemma and I'm wondering if anyone on the forum can help me. My niece is getting married next year and she has sent me an invitation, the seeming problem is that she's marrying another woman :o. I feel in my heart that I should have no problem going and supporting her on a very important day to her and her partner but, I also feel uneasy that I will also be in some way supporting gay marriage... which I don't. I feel that it's important that I show her how much I love her and also how much I love her mother, (my sister of course) who will expect me to attend along with my brother who is also a very strong Christian believing as I do.

I will of course be making my own decision as will my brother but, it's always good to seek wise counsel. Thanks for any constructive and scriptural input that any of you may have that could help me decide.

God bless :).   
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jeetkunejimi

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Re: MY NIECES WEDDING!?
« Reply #46 on: October 21, 2016, 11:31:34 AM »

Thank you all for your comments. If I may I will state some things.

Have any of us ever socialized with unmarried hetrosexual couples, can you ever go to their anniversaries or any other celebrations  of their relationships because they simply do not have a piece of paper that states they belong to the government? Because they haven't stood in the hallowed halls of Christendom (modern day babylon) and recited words that are not in scripture. Going to my nieces gay wedding isn't about me sanctioning lebianism, (I most certainly do not sanction such behaviour) it's actually about me showing my love for my niece. She has CHOSEN a certain lifestyle that as we should all know, there before the grace of God Almighty go I.

Her life is the result of a whole different set of circumstances than ours, and she has reacted to those circumstances with what faculties she had at the time of each choice. We all do the same, what else can we do? We're no better on our own, none of us are anything without Christ in us [John 15:5]. This is God's plan and this is what we all do. We're all where God wants us right now every second of every day. Jesus did not come to condemn us all but to save us all via him, via his shed blood, via his unconditional love for us all shown at the cross.

I'm going to take a leaf out of 'Indianabob's' book and if God is going to punish me for showing my love to my niece then I'll take my stripes like a man and move on. Somehow I don't think that He will. I don't believe that the God I love and try hard to serve even though I'm merely flesh & blood would want me to ignore people who are not elect. He wouldn't want me not to care and show my love for those who don't know Christ or have rejected him.

I'm prepared to show my love to those who know not, care not, and love not. I serve the God who has all this in hand. I'm not in a special club, I'm a member of a very, very, big family... God's family. I may not be the prodigal son but, I don't want to be a miserable, jealous, self-righteous elder brother either. Amen.

God's will be done on earth, just as His will is undoubtedly done so in heaven (think about that statement long and hard).
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cheekie3

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Re: MY NIECES WEDDING!?
« Reply #47 on: October 21, 2016, 12:26:12 PM »

jeetkunejimi -

Thank you all for your comments. If I may I will state some things.

Have any of us ever socialized with unmarried hetrosexual couples, can you ever go to their anniversaries or any other celebrations  of their relationships because they simply do not have a piece of paper that states they belong to the government? Because they haven't stood in the hallowed halls of Christendom (modern day babylon) and recited words that are not in scripture. Going to my nieces gay wedding isn't about me sanctioning lebianism, (I most certainly do not sanction such behaviour) it's actually about me showing my love for my niece. She has CHOSEN a certain lifestyle that as we should all know, there before the grace of God Almighty go I.

Her life is the result of a whole different set of circumstances than ours, and she has reacted to those circumstances with what faculties she had at the time of each choice. We all do the same, what else can we do? We're no better on our own, none of us are anything without Christ in us [John 15:5]. This is God's plan and this is what we all do. We're all where God wants us right now every second of every day. Jesus did not come to condemn us all but to save us all via him, via his shed blood, via his unconditional love for us all shown at the cross.

I'm going to take a leaf out of 'Indianabob's' book and if God is going to punish me for showing my love to my niece then I'll take my stripes like a man and move on. Somehow I don't think that He will. I don't believe that the God I love and try hard to serve even though I'm merely flesh & blood would want me to ignore people who are not elect. He wouldn't want me not to care and show my love for those who don't know Christ or have rejected him.

I'm prepared to show my love to those who know not, care not, and love not. I serve the God who has all this in hand. I'm not in a special club, I'm a member of a very, very, big family... God's family. I may not be the prodigal son but, I don't want to be a miserable, jealous, self-righteous elder brother either. Amen.

God's will be done on earth, just as His will is undoubtedly done so in heaven (think about that statement long and hard).

I do not know how I would react if a member of my family were to wed as your niece is.

We know that Our Heavenly Father looks at the intents of our hearts.

We are to be 'His Living Letters', as 'His Witnesses'.

If it was one of my three sons, whom I love very much - I would probably want to have a heart to heart with him - and explain and confirm that I do not approve. If my son had made up his mind, I probably would attend his wedding, as he is my son, as my love for him is greater than what others may think, and greater than his lifestyle choice.

As you have sought advice, and His Guidance, I am sure that He will burden your heart and mind, to do what He wants you to do.

Kind Regards.

George

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Porter

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Re: MY NIECES WEDDING!?
« Reply #48 on: October 21, 2016, 03:10:41 PM »

jeetkunejimi, do you really want the advice given here? Or are you trying to justify a way to make going to the wedding ok? Who you trying to convince, us or yourself? It really seems like you made up your mind before you ever posed the question.

What did Christ say about loving others more then Him?

Matthew 10:34-37 Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. 35 For I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; 36 and a mans enemies will be those of his own household.[e] 37 He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.

Loving Christ more then others will cause division. Jesus never said it would be easy.

 
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Dave in Tenn

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Re: MY NIECES WEDDING!?
« Reply #49 on: October 21, 2016, 08:18:46 PM »

If the sword He came to bring in Matt. 10 is the same sword in Heb_4:12:

For the word of God is living and operative, and keen above any two-edged sword, and penetrating up to the parting of soul and spirit, both of the articulations and marrow, and is a judge of the sentiments and thoughts of the heart."

...then we might want to consider why it is sharper than a two-edged sword.  Careful wielding it.

It seems to me that more than just Jeetkunejimi have pre-determined what they will do...or at least think they have.  Jesus is Lord.  He will judge the works of all men rightly.  We are a web-forum. 
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Heb 10:32  But you must continue to remember those earlier days, how after you were enlightened you endured a hard and painful struggle.

lilitalienboi16

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Re: MY NIECES WEDDING!?
« Reply #50 on: October 22, 2016, 01:32:46 AM »

If the sword He came to bring in Matt. 10 is the same sword in Heb_4:12:

For the word of God is living and operative, and keen above any two-edged sword, and penetrating up to the parting of soul and spirit, both of the articulations and marrow, and is a judge of the sentiments and thoughts of the heart."

...then we might want to consider why it is sharper than a two-edged sword.  Careful wielding it.

It seems to me that more than just Jeetkunejimi have pre-determined what they will do...or at least think they have.  Jesus is Lord.  He will judge the works of all men rightly.  We are a web-forum.

Dave, i have always considered us to be much more than a web forum. We are members of His body, and even amongst us as in no where else, in this the House of the Living God, are living pillars and grounds of the truth.

God bless,
Alex

 
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1 Cor 1:10 "Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment."

lostANDfound

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Re: MY NIECES WEDDING!?
« Reply #51 on: October 22, 2016, 02:14:02 AM »

Dave, are you saying that it's wrong to decide ahead of time what a right or wrong action would be in a given situation?
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Dave in Tenn

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Re: MY NIECES WEDDING!?
« Reply #52 on: October 22, 2016, 02:38:45 AM »

Dave, are you saying that it's wrong to decide ahead of time what a right or wrong action would be in a given situation?

Not really.  I'm more saying it is pointless, ultimately.  At least it has never worked for me.
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Heb 10:32  But you must continue to remember those earlier days, how after you were enlightened you endured a hard and painful struggle.

octoberose

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Re: MY NIECES WEDDING!?
« Reply #53 on: October 22, 2016, 04:21:48 AM »

If you believe in a big mushy " let's all get along" , awe shucks that's okay kind of God , you go ahead and never make a stand for rightouness. God takes sin, yours and mine, seriously. A price had to be paid- a death, Christ's  death. We are either part of the darkness or we are Light. There is no in between .    We all fall, we all fail, but premeditated failure ?  I really try not to do that.
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lilitalienboi16

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Re: MY NIECES WEDDING!?
« Reply #54 on: October 22, 2016, 11:19:39 AM »

God doesnt pre ordaine rapists, murders, homosexuals--he doesn't preordain sinners. He creates man weak, subjects him to vanity (moral futility) and creates a tempter and the rest is history. We are all created with weak hearts in different ways but no pre determining is necessary as man volunteers under these conditions. So we are held accountable for our actions. However God does pre ordaine and predestin our good works by the very reason of these conditions. Man must be made by God directly to do righteousness. And so God takes full responsibility for our actions. Its part of the process of becoming holy and rigtheouss as He. Its why all the glory goes to Him. All the goodness comes from the Father in whom there is no turning of shadows, including our obedience to Him.
« Last Edit: October 22, 2016, 11:22:32 AM by lilitalienboi16 »
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1 Cor 1:10 "Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment."

lostANDfound

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Re: MY NIECES WEDDING!?
« Reply #55 on: October 22, 2016, 01:33:29 PM »

I have a lot of preconceived determinations which I hope God will use to steady and bolster me in my hour of greatest temptation, when excuses fly at me from all directions.  Dave, I think you are lying to yourself right now.  Is it right to watch porn if someone put it on for entertainment when you were visiting?  This is simple.  It's a preconceived decision that you aren't likely to have to exercise.  So what?  You'll watch the porn or you won't, you will sin or you won't, but I really hope you have an idea now, sitting on your computer at home, that one would be right and one would be wrong. And that wisdom would be useful to cling to if you found yourself in such a situation.
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Dave in Tenn

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Re: MY NIECES WEDDING!?
« Reply #56 on: October 22, 2016, 05:23:12 PM »

I've had preconceived determinations all my life.  I still do.  But I've also found myself over and over violating those determinations.  When I say they have never worked for me, I mean just that.  If I screw up and do the right thing on occasion, it's not because I determined in my mind and doubled-down on my will power.  It's because my heart and mind were changed.  Sometimes these changes have been more or less instantaneous.  Other times, they have occurred in stages over many, many years.  Either way, it is Him working in me.     

If preconceived determinations work for you, then who am I to complain?  That's how He has formed you.  Since they don't work so well for me, who am I to complain?  Don't think I am without them.  Just understand that my "experience" with them fails on two levels.  First, that I am always RIGHT in my preconceived determinations.  Second that I can do what seems right, (and likely is) but still find myself falling short--not just in other things, but in the DOING of what seems right.  The Pharisee probably wasn't like the publican.  But he didn't repent of what he WAS.   
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Heb 10:32  But you must continue to remember those earlier days, how after you were enlightened you endured a hard and painful struggle.

lostANDfound

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Re: MY NIECES WEDDING!?
« Reply #57 on: October 22, 2016, 06:42:10 PM »

I hope you understand that I use the word 'determination' in the sense that through wisdom, through that still small voice, because of Jesus, I might determine what is right or wrong ahead of time, not that I have 'determined' my own steps. I fail over and over just as you say you do. I realize that could have been read wrong the way I wrote it.  I just don't get the way you talk, "if I screw up and do the right thing on occasion ".  I'm hoping that's  self- deprecating humour.  But what is the right thing?  You have no idea what it is ahead of time?  I might have lost the plot here. 
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Dave in Tenn

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Re: MY NIECES WEDDING!?
« Reply #58 on: October 22, 2016, 08:06:37 PM »

Well, yes, that's sort of self-deprecating humor.  Ignore that part if you want to.  Sometimes I do the "right thing" with all that entails--the motive and the method.  But when I do, it isn't because I fastidiously planned it before hand.     

Just understand that my "experience" with them fails on two levels.  First, that I am always RIGHT in my preconceived determinations.  Second that I can do what seems right, (and likely is) but still find myself falling short--not just in other things, but in the DOING of what seems right.  The Pharisee probably wasn't like the publican.  But he didn't repent of what he WAS.


 
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Heb 10:32  But you must continue to remember those earlier days, how after you were enlightened you endured a hard and painful struggle.

lauriellen

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Re: MY NIECES WEDDING!?
« Reply #59 on: October 22, 2016, 09:00:35 PM »

Just my 2 cents worth....I see God as 'first cause'.....He created us, our hearts, all the circumstances that surround us, and bound us up in sin. I can't imagine that He didn't realize that all of this would CAUSE rapists, murderers, homosexuals, etc.....so He KNEW before the foundation....so to say it wasn't 'ordained' of God is just playing with words to me. All that is, is just exactly as he INTENDED it to be. All of the determination and effort in the universe can not change what God has already determined must be. Our hearts are like rivers of water, He turns them whichever way He desires. Why do we judge another mans' servent? God is the potter, who am I to say 'Why have you made so-and-so thus?' So what is the end of the matter? Just live. Do the best you can. Ask God to guide YOUR steps and then trust Him to do so. Don't judge how God directs someone elses' steps. Stop straining at the knat in your brothers' eye and worry about the beam in your own. None of us are perfect. None of us will be in this life. Stop judging people before the time, just because they sin differently than you. If God wants something changed, He is able. My hope is that He will at the appointed time.
« Last Edit: October 22, 2016, 09:03:46 PM by lauriellen »
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