Hello all.
This is really quite amazing to me. I've known people for years and during the worst times of my life they didn't even bother to phone up just to see how things were...and then I see this! The letters, the pm's. words of charity and understanding...absolutely amazing.
I am really speechless. But not so much that I can't explain myself
Things are bad right now, and I have learned from past trials to just hunker down and ride the storm. I guess I was just reacting as I have done before. I thank God every day for the fire he has put us through, and WILL put us through again...but I grow so weary at times.
I have to admit, I may have overreacted to some of the comments on this forum. It is very frustrating to watch someones carnal tirade. I am in the habit of walking away from that type of thing, so much have I seen of that. I have no use for that any longer. I don't even want to hear about carnal fears and government plots. I don't want to hear angry comments and name calling. I don't want to hear people talk so proudly about how they have no real faith in God, or that we shouldn't "spiritualize things too much", on and on and on.
I paid a huge price to leave that all behind, and I find its existence in others to be offensive. But here lies the problem. That is so wrong of me to think like that. I have no right to judge anyone else because regardless of what I have been through, I am the same as before...carnal, weak, and worthless.
Up until now, I felt that I DID have the right to isolate myself from that. But now, with all these words of support and love, I am thinking I was wrong.
God led me here in the first place knowing full well that there were divisions and strife at this forum. I should know better than to question where he has placed me.
I WANT to stay and fellowship, I did what I THOUGHT God wanted me to do...to isolate myself again while this storm rages. I must be wrong.
I am going to stay, and I will sit on my hands if nessecary to keep from writing anything mean spirited or harsh. I am just worried that I will make a mistake and cause a brother or sister to feel bad by words that may flow from my frustration. I DO NOT have that right...to hurt anyone...even if they do deserve it. Some people just don't know when to quit.
I will probably lurk in the shadows for a while, until I am ready to join you again...but I will.
THANK YOU EVERYONE...Love IS the answer.
Please forgive me for being so outspoken about my feelings...God isn't done with me yet.....sigh.
I love you all,
Chuck