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Christmas is hard....
octoberose:
Christmas is rough this year. I lack nothing- except the child who has removed himself from his family. And every song, every ornament that I bought for him growing up, all the memories- they just break my heart. My daughter wrote something today on her Facebook page about the things she misses at Christmas time and being with her brother was one of them. I know, I do this every year at some point. I truly don't know if I'm strong enough to bear this . And God just is so silent . He's So Silent. I know that He inhabits the praises of his people, but truthfully I am having a hard time with the praising. I can't find that place of surrender and peace while I wait on God as He does His will. I just suffer. And I think about how many years are left to me on this earth and could they please hurry up and get over with. That's awful to admit but that's where I am at the moment.
I ask myself if I love my son more than Christ. If Christ removed himself from me, would I be as wounded as I am now? I really hope the answer is yes, more so. But Christ won't remove Himself from me- He is the one who is Faithful and True. I know this is true.
As marriages go, I've been married a long time. But you know when you begin a marriage that maybe there's a chance that it will not last. That he will leave you. But never, never did I ever consider my child would leave me. Maybe that's the thing - God has put me through the unkindest thing of all for - what, my benefit? Yes, there has been benefit. I actually know this. I am Far less judgmental over parents and their children, I am aware of peoples suffering and don't think that I've done one thing good to keep calamity from me but that God has done it. But dear Lord, I am ready to benefit less from this lesson! Can You call Time and let me put away my pencil and paper and walk out with my grade?..... But, not one day before You are ready to. Just give me some grace and some strength and some joy in the mean time, would You please?
Rhys 🕊:
James 1:2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,
James 1:3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.
James 1:4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
I look at these verses and wonder how long steadfastness (endurance, patience) will take. If I have it for 1 year is that enough for the full effect or will it take 10 years. I don't know but God knows. We need to trust Him with everything not just somethings. It's easy to trust in the little things but the big things take time and growing in maturity.
God knows the best time for us and you know that. To become perfect and complete, lacking in nothing takes more than what we think. I thought in some areas I was there only to find out that I'm not there yet and not sure when I will be.
Psa 34:18 The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,14047.msg123886.html#msg123886
We have to learn to live by faith and not by sight. What we see and feel in this physical life can deceive us into believing that this is as good as it gets. That is far from the truth. This is a training ground of many difficult trials and tribulations.
Rhys
cheekie3:
octoberose -
--- Quote from: octoberose on December 04, 2016, 01:47:40 AM --- Christmas is rough this year. I lack nothing- except the child who has removed himself from his family. And every song, every ornament that I bought for him growing up, all the memories- they just break my heart. My daughter wrote something today on her Facebook page about the things she misses at Christmas time and being with her brother was one of them. I know, I do this every year at some point. I truly don't know if I'm strong enough to bear this . And God just is so silent . He's So Silent. I know that He inhabits the praises of his people, but truthfully I am having a hard time with the praising. I can't find that place of surrender and peace while I wait on God as He does His will. I just suffer. And I think about how many years are left to me on this earth and could they please hurry up and get over with. That's awful to admit but that's where I am at the moment.
I ask myself if I love my son more than Christ. If Christ removed himself from me, would I be as wounded as I am now? I really hope the answer is yes, more so. But Christ won't remove Himself from me- He is the one who is Faithful and True. I know this is true.
As marriages go, I've been married a long time. But you know when you begin a marriage that maybe there's a chance that it will not last. That he will leave you. But never, never did I ever consider my child would leave me. Maybe that's the thing - God has put me through the unkindest thing of all for - what, my benefit? Yes, there has been benefit. I actually know this. I am Far less judgmental over parents and their children, I am aware of peoples suffering and don't think that I've done one thing good to keep calamity from me but that God has done it. But dear Lord, I am ready to benefit less from this lesson! Can You call Time and let me put away my pencil and paper and walk out with my grade?..... But, not one day before You are ready to. Just give me some grace and some strength and some joy in the mean time, would You please?
--- End quote ---
It appears (to me), that you have answered your own questions in the above, regarding The Love of God and our own Love for Him and our families and others.
Specifically about your hardship, and if I understand you correctly, for your family to be happy and complete together at this time - perhaps you need to focus on the following (if you do not already):
1. Christmas is a pagan celebration - which most of us cannot escape from - and most of us perhaps, still buy presents for our families knowing full well that it is not a True Festival of The Lord.
2. It matters not a bit (albeit it may hurt like hell) what others say or think about us and our families; as the only thing of TRUE value is our standing In Him.
3. He Has declared that all are accountable for what they desire, think, say and do - and this includes the very fact that not one of us can make a single choice for someone else.
4. Whatever the relationship (or not) anyone has with Him, the experiences He has preordained, that each and every one of us, walk in (and suffer through them), build Godly Character in each and every one of us.
5. Obedience is attained only through suffering.
6. His Judgements (whereby He chastens His Children) although extremely severe, and He does NOT cut any corners, are in reality the Very Act of a Loving Parent (to each and every one of us).
7. His Elect were born in the world, His Elect (in His Time of His own Choosing) were dragged out of the world, and were then not part of the world - and His Elect must NOT love any of the things in the world (The Pride of Life, The Lust of The Eyes and The Lust of The Flesh). If His Elect do NOT love the things in the world, His Elect are in a Very Good Place of Peace, Love and Joy (In Him).
8. Love conquers ALL:
I hope this helps you a little, and does not hinder you at all.
Warmest Regards.
George
virginiabm:
My dear octoberose, my heart goes out to you so much, because I am in the same situation you are in. My son Bobby who is not in prison has turned his back on me and Charles and his sister. It hurts so much. We only can talk to my grandchildren. I have not seen them in almost 9 months, But I know God will make a way for you and me, because He loves us. Our ways is not His way. We want it now and God says no it is not time. I guess we have got a little bit more suffering to go through to learn something, like you, I don't know what yet, but God will show us in His time. I cry alot about my son and grandchildren, but I have got to a place where it don't hurt so much as it did, so I know my breakthrough is right around the corner and I can see a light at the end of the tunnel getting closer and closer. We have to believe that God is in control of all things and there is nothing we can do to help God out, because we think He is to slow. I love you sis and my thoughts and prayers are with you, that God will comfort you in your time of need. Christmas is a traditional Lie, it has nothing to do with our LORD and Saviour. No offence intended, just being honest.
Your Sister in Christ Jesus,
virginia miller
Extol:
Dear Rose,
I cannot know what it is like to suffer as you have suffered, but many of us have had similar feelings about God being "silent".
This is the opening of Psalm 22:
1 My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring?
2 O my God, I cry in the day time, but thou hearest not; and in the night season, and am not silent.
3 But thou art holy...
The same man who wrote that also wrote in Psalm 139:
Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you’re there!
If I go underground, you’re there!
If I flew on morning’s wings
to the far western horizon,
You’d find me in a minute—
you’re already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
At night I’m immersed in the light!”
It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you;
night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you...
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day.
I love what you wrote at the end of your post: But, not one day before You are ready to. Like the psalmist, you understand--despite your suffering and frustration--that God is holy and sovereign. And in the grand scheme of things, you know that He knows what He is doing...even if it doesn't "feel" right to you at this moment. That gives me cause to be thankful. Bless you, sister.
P.S. George and Virginia, I don't think the origins of Christmas have anything to do with Rose's plight. It is spending time with one's family--not what the day "means" or where it came from--that makes it special.
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