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Heavy Heart

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Musterseed:
Dear brothers and sisters,
I pray you are all well. I feel the need to release the feelings of my heart
to you today. I have been reading Scripture and praying since I opened
my eyes this morning and although I know my Father is near, I just need
to express my heart to the family I know will understand. You see, today
is my sons Birthday, his name is Matthew and is 34. Two and a half years
ago, we were in Newfoundland attending my sister in laws funeral when
I got a call from my son who was 9000 kilometres away in Yellowknife,
crying his heart out because his daughter was born early and was dead.
It broke my heart to not be able to be there with him and his wife. A little
baby girl who's name is Ayla was here for four hours in her mommy and
daddies arms and I know who is safe in her sleep and will be given to her
parents in the future. At the time I was going through a horrible experience
and being dragged to the Lord and did not hold the knowledge I have now .
I did not know how to console him except to say" everything is for a reason".
I was quickly put in my place. My son and his wife do not believe in creation.
I guess what's bothering me today is the fact that I hold in my heart the most,
wonderful news of life after death and cannot share it with my son and daughter
in law who still grieve deeply. She is almost forty and may not be able to conceive
again.She had already had two abortions, one of which was Matthews. I cannot
help but feel guilty about not trying to talk them out of it. I know this is all of
God and is part of what must be , but I just felt I needed to share so that I can let it go.
i know you all have your own trials, and pray for you every night. I am very thankful
to Our Lord for this safe haven. Somehow just writing it down makes me feel better.I
bottle up a lot of my emotions because of being naive and trusting of people. All my life
I have been betrayed and manipulated. Look at this, I have gone into a self pity mode.
I really want to delete this right now but my fingers keep typing, why? I know God forgives
me for my sins, do I need to forgive myself ? Can you answer that for me please? I'm sorry
for my self pitying rant, I don't know what's wrong with me today, I feel empty,and broken.
I still want to delete but I'm too tired. Thank God for you, and God Bless You All. Pamela

PS, here is a lullaby for God's children..... May it be..lyrics...Enya,  the words are beautiful.

lareli:
I'm sorry to hear that you are hurting right now.

Musterseed:
Thank you Largeli ❤️ Pamela

Dave in Tenn:
I can't find a "verse" that says we need to forgive ourselves for our sins, but maybe these two go together.

"Forgive us our trespasses even as we forgive those who trespass against us."

"Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself."

How do you truly do the latter without doing the former for yourself? 

cheekie3:
Pamela -

Regarding your pain and your concerns:


--- Quote from: Musterseed on March 23, 2017, 05:23:41 PM ---Dear brothers and sisters,
I pray you are all well. I feel the need to release the feelings of my heart
to you today. I have been reading Scripture and praying since I opened
my eyes this morning and although I know my Father is near, I just need
to express my heart to the family I know will understand. You see, today
is my sons Birthday, his name is Matthew and is 34. Two and a half years
ago, we were in Newfoundland attending my sister in laws funeral when
I got a call from my son who was 9000 kilometres away in Yellowknife,
crying his heart out because his daughter was born early and was dead.
It broke my heart to not be able to be there with him and his wife. A little
baby girl who's name is Ayla was here for four hours in her mommy and
daddies arms and I know who is safe in her sleep and will be given to her
parents in the future. At the time I was going through a horrible experience
and being dragged to the Lord and did not hold the knowledge I have now .
I did not know how to console him except to say" everything is for a reason".
I was quickly put in my place. My son and his wife do not believe in creation.
I guess what's bothering me today is the fact that I hold in my heart the most,
wonderful news of life after death and cannot share it with my son and daughter
in law who still grieve deeply. She is almost forty and may not be able to conceive
again.She had already had two abortions, one of which was Matthews. I cannot
help but feel guilty about not trying to talk them out of it. I know this is all of
God and is part of what must be , but I just felt I needed to share so that I can let it go.
i know you all have your own trials, and pray for you every night. I am very thankful
to Our Lord for this safe haven. Somehow just writing it down makes me feel better.I
bottle up a lot of my emotions because of being naive and trusting of people. All my life
I have been betrayed and manipulated. Look at this, I have gone into a self pity mode.
I really want to delete this right now but my fingers keep typing, why? I know God forgives
me for my sins, do I need to forgive myself ? Can you answer that for me please? I'm sorry
for my self pitying rant, I don't know what's wrong with me today, I feel empty,and broken.
I still want to delete but I'm too tired. Thank God for you, and God Bless You All. Pamela

PS, here is a lullaby for God's children..... May it be..lyrics...Enya,  the words are beautiful.

--- End quote ---

We can only forgive those have have trespassed against us, and only Our Beloved Father can forgive our sins. We must repent of our sins.

He has planned every desire, thought, words and actions that we all must have, think, say and do; and we are all accountable for these.

We can pray privately for our families, in case they have sinned.

As Ray taught, humanity must experience evil to humble us, and appreciate the Good that is Our Heavenly Father.

Job comes to mind, that even though Job desired that he was not born while in torment and pain, Job did not curse God - and God confirmed that Job did right.

Our Heavenly Father knows what He is doing at all times, and we are not in complete control of our lives.

His Chosen Elect rely 100% on His Holy Spirit to direct their lives in Righteousness and Truth; and the desires and lusts of the world cease to dominate and have dominion of His Elects' lives.

We must pray without ceasing, and His Holy Spirit helps His Elect to pray correctly in private.

I hope this helps and comforts you and your family a little.

Warmest Regards.

George

 

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