largeli -
Thank you for sharing this:
George,
Do I know how to test it he desires of my heart.. I hope so. I think so. The desire to do what I know I should do is there but is desire enough? You point out that even the desire to do so isn't from myself but from God. I like that and I will give that more thought.
When I look into the mirror of my life I do not see Christ though and that's where this comes from. Now I'm not doubting that Christ paid the price and justified me and I'm not doubting that I will one day be saved, as will everyone. But I'm testing myself, examining myself, judging myself to see if The Kingdom of God is in me, and if Christ is in me now.
I see that I lack faith. Faith being action and not just an intellectual agreement that something is true. I'm going to ask God to give me faith.
Perhaps, He is putting you through His Consuming Fire - and will not let you go anyway but straight forward - and once you are out on the other side - He will Refine you like Silver - and place in your heart the assurance that you are craving - and all these doubts will be gone - as He (Christ) is Worthy - and it is He (Christ) in us that Our Heavenly Father sees, before He sees us - as Christ is Our Mediator - and prays and intercedes for us, to Our Heavenly Father.
I am sure that many on this Forum, your true Brothers and Sisters, are interceding with you, and for you.
Warmest Regards.
George