We're fearing for this this teenage girl

[octoberose]

I have a friend who is struggling -her 17 year old daughter, a jr. in high school is 'seeing' a boy who is abusing her, controlling her and trying to come between the daughter and her family. They are in counseling, the girl is not allowed to see the boy but they go to the same school so they of course see each other there and they text.  This  is a family you just would not have imagined would have this issue. Do you see that more and more? I seem to. As we leave God this world is getting worse and worse .
So, if you are inclined to, please pray for A and her family and that God has mercy on this girl and her mom and dad. And to change the heart of seemingly heartless boy.
Also, the mom is more then willing to hear good advice. I have tried, but until you've walked this path it's hard to give wise words. Do any of you have some?

[Wanda]

Hi Octoberose,

A very scary and stressfull situation for many parents today.  It appears this has become an epidemic, when you consider one in three girls will be in a controlling, abusive dating relationship, before she graduates from high school.

I shudder to think of still having children young enough to be in the public school system.  Many schools today, are the equivalent of sending your child off to a combined mental psych ward/juvenile corrections facility, rolled into one.

I came across this book -  But I Love Him...

Dr. Murray speaks on the topic of dating violence at high schools around the country, reaching more than 10,000 students, teachers, and counsellors each year.  She identifies these controlling, abusive patterns of behaviour and helps you get your daughter out of the relationship without alienating her. You will learn what draws her to this type of relationship, why she has a hard time talking to you about it, the special barriers teens face when breaking off a relationship, and what's going on in the mind of a teen abuser. Dr. Murray will help you show your teen what a respectful relationship looks like, and teach her the importance of respecting herself.

I'm including a link so you can read customer reviews, and perhaps give it as a gift,  if you think it could help.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0060957298/ref=pd_aw_sim_14_2?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=NEF03TVCRKAGPPQ7NWPR&dpPl=1&dpID=41lC%2Bb0uwEL

I'll be praying.

[octoberose]

Wanda, I am so appreciative of your suggestion .  My friend ordered the book you recommended tonight .  I'm praying God has mercy on this girl and her family .

[arion]

IF he is abusing her the domestic violence laws apply to minor's as well.  Contact the school resource police officer if they have one or file a complaint with the local police or sheriff department.  It's difficult with a 17 year old as they are 'almost' adults and have a mind of their own so she has to be involved in the process but regardless the parents are still responsible as long as the kid lives at home so I would involve the police whether she likes it or not.  She might hate them for it now but she'll thank them for it later.  Parenting isn't a popularity contest.

[Wanda]

IF he is abusing her the domestic violence laws apply to minor's as well.  Contact the school resource police officer if they have one or file a complaint with the local police or sheriff department.  It's difficult with a 17 year old as they are 'almost' adults and have a mind of their own so she has to be involved in the process but regardless the parents are still responsible as long as the kid lives at home so I would involve the police whether she likes it or not.  She might hate them for it now but she'll thank them for it later.  Parenting isn't a popularity contest.

Hi Arion,

Octoberose said the family is in counselling,,  consent forms are signed before therapy begins, explaining the therapists legal obligations in reporting abuse.

Laws in all 50 states require a therapist to contact authorities if a patient is a danger to him/herself, to others, and/or if the therapist suspects that a known child is being abused.

My background is in Risk Management, in the health care field, and I assure you, these are very strigent requirements.

[Wanda]

Wanda, I am so appreciative of your suggestion .  My friend ordered the book you recommended tonight .  I'm praying God has mercy on this girl and her family .

Your welcome, my hope is that this experiece leads to something much better, for this young girl and her family.

[indianabob]

Just speculating of course because there is no way that I can know what is needed.

BUT, this is typical of a young girl who is her own worst enemy. She is wanting something she is not able to have at her young age and really not in the future either.
She wants someone else to make her happy, fulfilled and important to her peers and in her own eyes.

The environment that children grow up in is filled with disappointment and longing for feelings of love and value and society cannot provide it.
In my view it is not a lack of proper provisions by any outside person such as the school or the parents. It is just life in this world and the chances one takes trying to live from day to day. Some people are better able to handle what life throws at them and others not so much.

Counseling is helpful and we always should do the best we can for our children, but USUALLY, no one is responsible for these conditions. It is just the life that God has provided for us to deal with. There are always people such as her boy friend who will take advantage of a girl for their own purposes and see nothing wrong with it.

Some young people find faithful friends to support their dreams and encourage patience with life and others do not.

I am certainly not saying that we cannot help, but human nature is selfish and self centered and we need to recognize that part of ourselves.
Some things we cannot fix...

Kindly offered ole Bob

[octoberose]

Kindly received ❣️