As most of you know i havn't been as active on the forums here as i used to be. I've been struggling with the Word, the Lust of the Flesh, the Pride of Life, and those things. To put it, i've been quiet lost.
My story starts about 2 months ago, when my friend told His mom my beliefs. His mom asked me about them and we discussed them, and i explained to her why i believed what i did (Salvation of All, Hell is not ETERNAL TORTURE etc..).
About 1 month ago, this friend of mine, stopped being my friend. His parents told Him i was jew, and that He shouldn't hang out with me. (Some Christian love there.) Yes his parents are christian, apperently not so good at 'loveing there neighbor'. Anyways so now i lost a friend, and my other friends won't hang out with me as much because This friend that i lost is always with them, and he doesn't want to see me anymore. So i spent some time alone, i knew why this was happening. The Lord was breaking me down but it was hurtful. I still held my faith strong.
About 1 week after my friend stopped hanging out with me, i crashed my car. Thankfully i was not injured at all, neither was my brother who was in the car, but the car was completley totaled. Yes i was making a turn at 20 miles an hour and my car got totaled. I knew there was more then the laws of physics at work here because i find it very hard to believe you can completely total a car at 20 miles an hour but apperently you can. I tried to tell the officer it was 30 and he said theres no way from a stop at that distance to the pole here, that you traveled to 30 in such short time, you were going atleast 20. So i was shocked, and offcourse i knew once again who was at work here. It hurt me inside, and it was a painfull experience. My world was being torn apart as God saw fit to prepare me for whatever He has planned.
Now to make matters worse, this one hurt me the most, and it was so painfull i cried. My girlfriend, who was up visiting her cousin (about a 4 hour drive) called me, and told me that she wasn't so sure about us anymore. I was confused, and shocked, just before she left we had gone on a break, for about 2 weeks, but she told me when she came back that we would get back together so i was joyously awaiting her return. However now everything has changed... Apperently while she was up there she got drunk. Mind you SHE NEVER gets drunk, NEVER. She always told me, never get drunk, you promise? So i promised her never to get drunk, you can see how much of a shock this was to me. To make matters worse, she went to the movies with a guy named "ALEX." Now i'm not sure how many of you know but that is MY NAME. She told me, they made out, and that she wasn't really sure about me and her anywmore. She said his name being alex was so sort of sign.... I was completely broken hearted, destroyed, i was teary eyed. I knew what was going on, and why it was happening, but Lord could it have been any more painfull? As we were about to hang up the phone, i told her "I still love you with all my heart..." and she told me "Alex i love you, but it's just not the same anymore." After that i wanted to pretty much break down and cry but i didn't. I had the whole family here, i had to be strong...
So that night i prayed, and i told the Lord, "Please God, don't take away the one thing in this world that means everything to me besides you." I sat there for a good 10 minutes just beging Him not to do this to me. I knew that chastisment was painfull, but never this much pain. As i was falling asleep, the coolest thing happened.
The Lord spoke to me, and i know i'm probably just going insane because of everything thats happening but i can't remmeber how it started.
I Jsut remember Him saying "Alex do not fear, I AM the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob."
He said something along the lines of "Your ancestors Father according to the promise." (I think Hes saying they are my ancestors not by blood but by the promise we have in Christ, makeing us the ISREAL OF GOD?" I could be wrong but i think thats what he ment."
He told me, "Behold a ladder is set before you, and it reaches to the heavens. You stand upon this latter and soon you will see heaven open up before you."
Then suddenly like a revalation it hit me, John saw the Heavens open up before Him, Christ represents the Ladder, things were just falling together.
As you could imagine, i thought i was going nuts literly.I still think i'm crazy right now.
I asked Him "How do i know this is not SATAN" to which He replied "Any Kingdom that speaks against itself is divided, and if satan speaks against himself then his kingdom is divided, if his kingdom is divided then it will not stand." and i said, okay good enough for me lol.
So i asked Him, "God willl you tell me if Jacqueline and I will ever get back together?" and He told me, "Alex she is yours, as you are mine, she is part of your lot. For now this must be done, but you will be together. You will marry her, and you will remember i told you this when you are married. This will be my sign to you that I am your God, and that there is no Other besides me."
He told me me something about This being set up before the world began, so i am not to fear that He is with me, and that in my weakness will His strengths suffice. He told me "You are mine, and i am with you, even to the ends of the earth."
I was just thinking in my head like, man i hope this is God talking to me this would be awsome so i decided to ask Him something i couldn't possible know.
I asked Him "God why is this happening to me?"
He replied something along the lines of this "I know why you ask me this, and it is because you doubt i speak to you. You will know in time when i have given you the sign that i am your God, the only God." I think he ment by "the sign" as in the promise he made me that when i marry Jacqueline that i will remember all this and i will know without a doubt.
I asked Him one last thing "Lord will she be beautiful on that day?" and he told me "Alex i have put it in your heart to desire her, she will be beautiful."
All throughout this i just kept telling how much it was hurting me, how painfull this is to me. He kept telling me "You are my son, and she is yours, i know this pains you but it must be done for now. I have put it in your heart to desire her, do not worry she is yours."
It was unbelievable. He spoke as a Father loves his son, speaking to him gently there was a calm in His voice, but authority with it also. As if you were in His arms. IT was amazing i realy don't know what else to say.
The last things He said to me were "Remember Alex, i am with you and she is yours."
Anyway that was what happened to me last night.. it was quiet an experience. This was pretty hard to share as it was a very personal experience, and i usualy keep these things private for fear of bieng called insane but i don't think i'm going crazy and everything happens for a reason. Whatever happened last night, the Lord obviously willed it to happen so He was communicating something to me, and i believe it was really Him.
It brings me comfort to know that me and jacqueline will be re-united, it just hurts alot right now, and i don't know how long the Lord will have me go through this stuff... its painfull i can tell you that.
Anyways God bless you all.. just thought id share because i need people who understand me and can rilate to talk with. You guys are my family
God bless,
Alex
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Topic: My Story i'd like to share with you ALL (Read 7039 times)