poaching turtles

[John9362]

A man is poaching turtles to sell to the local restaurants, when a police man catches him .
The cop says  "it's illegal to poach turtles out of this river, they're an endangered species"?
The man says to the officer, "no this is my pet turtle. I bring him down here everyday and let him go for a swim. He swims across the river and back".
"Liar" the officer replies. So the man places the turtle in the water and says "watch this". The turtle swims out and the two men are standing there waiting.
Ten minutes goes past and the officer says "well where's the turtle?".
The man replies  ..."what turtle"?

LOL 

[indianabob]

Some cops are a little too easy on criminals
A fellow could lose his badge that way.
Indiana Bob,

I was a police officer in the 1960's 

[John9362]

So Bob if I presume (wrongly) you retired in the 60's that makes you about 120 years old    You are trully blessed 

[indianabob]

Actually John 9362, I left the police force after six years due to the low salary and the need to reconsider the use of deadly force.
I think God was telling me something even at that early stage of my life.

Also my lovely wife and I were raising a family that eventually became four children and necessitated a
different line of work.
I began training with the Prudential Life Insurance Company and subsequently worked in several fields of endeavor
before finally retiring in 2005 from the University of Notre Dame with a nice pension.

Life brings all kinds of surprises to each of us as we learn to cope with God's plan for our life. 

Ole Indiana Bob

[John9362]

Nice Bob, thanks for sharing 

[Rhys 🕊]

That is the best turtle joke I have ever heard. It is also the only turtle joke I have ever heard 

Rhys

[John9362]

Hi Kiwi,

I hope you are well mate, here's one just for you:

           A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a large tortoise in the front seat. "What are you doing with that turtle?" He exclaimed, "You should take it to the zoo." The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the turtle again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over. "I thought you were going to take that turtle to the zoo!" The man replied, "I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!" 

[Rhys 🕊]

Haha.......second best turtle 🐢 joke now 😜

[John9362]

OK no more turtle jokes:

This bloke looses his toes in an accident, and then has trouble walking, this makes him perpetually grumpy.
His loving wife tells him, he is lack-toes intolerant  ......

A famous Italian chef died the other day, he pasta away and the Italians believe he's gnocching on heavens door.