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Wondering why

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Rhys:
Jesse had shared some verses in another post.


God has declared the end from the beginning (Isa. 46:10)

God works all things together for good (Rom. 8:28)

God has decided the length of our lives and knows exactly how many months we will live (Job 14:5)

God works all things according to the counsel of His will (Eph. 1:11)



After loss of my wife I hate God at times but at the same time still love Him.  Is like I donít want to know anything about you or hear from you and at the same time  I want to hear from you and know more about you. We can all feel that but at the level I feel, it makes it confusing and hard to make sense of anything. Guess I feel pulled in 2 opposite directions.

Have others experienced this and what are some good verses or passages from Ray that help?

With lockdown at the moment it makes it worse and i get more depressed. My mental health not so good so being told you need to isolate is terrible as that is the one thing I should not do. You can do Skype and other social media but is no social element like going to sports or going to restaurant. Those things help me in ways hard to explain.

The verses posted earlier are a challenge to me. Why after just getting my wife setup in New Zealand from Taiwan and her only working in hospital for 4 months did she have to go. She was a highly qualified nurse and beautiful loving encouraging person to me and others, she always reached out to people wth love and was a great example to me of what it is to love others. It all seems very unfair so you can understand my emotions to God. I often feel he has not a clue what he is doing. I feel like I am being punished for doing nothing wrong. I know from my church days older people who have kids and everything else in life and now there kids have kids and some are quite rich now and yet they believe a lie.

What makes it worse in lockdown for a virus that has never been in my town I had wedding anniversary last weekend and today would of been her birthday which makes it even harder. Iíve been through a lot and still physical issues with surgery being delayed you would think God would give you some answers but nothing.

I almost died so I also wonder why leave me behind with physical and emotional pain. I often tell God you made a mistake to let me live and ask Him each day to let me die as I wonít take my own life.

Is difficult when God says He loves you but you canít feel it or see it anywhere.

Rhys

Dave in Tenn:
Blessed are those who have seen and believed.  More blessed are those who have not seen and believed.  I don't know if that is a direct quote, but what I can call up from memory and from application for my own life.  I can't say I am brimming over with a strong emotional love towards God.  I'm at least a little suspicious of folks who say they are.  The promise is that I will be... not that I am.  Thou SHALT.  I certainly wonder why He has formed me this far as He has.

Remember the account of the OT dude who wrestled with the angel?  He got his blessing, but was crippled in the getting. That's life.  He has plans for our good, but He will deliver on His promise after He has sifted us like wheat and ground us to powder..  We can't stop Him, and faith tells us we shouldn't.

If both you and Sheila had known in advance this was to happen, would you have refused to love her?  If no, then that is a little inkling of Godliness.  Soon enough, you are going to be blessed with sight at all the expressions of God's love...past, future and even (unbelievable that it may seem) the present.  Until then, He can handle anything you throw at Him like a father wrestling with a toddler.

Rhys:
Thanks very much Dave for the encouragement

Learner:
Dave said everything I would have liked to have but could not find the words.Hang in there Rhys you are not forgotten.

Porter:

--- Quote from: Rhys on April 19, 2020, 12:45:38 AM ---



After loss of my wife I hate God at times but at the same time still love Him.  Is like I donít want to know anything about you or hear from you and at the same time  I want to hear from you and know more about you. We can all feel that but at the level I feel, it makes it confusing and hard to make sense of anything. Guess I feel pulled in 2 opposite directions.

Have others experienced this and what are some good verses or passages from Ray that help?


--- End quote ---

If I were being honest with myself I'd say yes, I can relate to how you feel about God. I don't have many words of wisdom of my own, but I did find this from Ray. It goes nicely with what Dave said. I hope it helps.


https://bible-truths.com/lake16-D5.htm


The heat, pressure, and fire, that God afflicts upon His called and chosen Elect to produce the godly character befitting sons of God, the Church calls curses of the Devil. Even as you sit and read the words of this Installment on hell, God is bringing spiritual heat, pressure, and fire into your life. You can either reject it by bringing out your Christian fire extinguisher, or you can let God's Consuming Fire burn out the resistance and animosity toward His correcting Word. You can either live to self and die to God, or you can die to self and live to God. If God is dealing with you, it is a painful experience that will liberate and set free your very soul, spirit, and mind.

Let's rehearse these words of encouragement again:

    "...let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; Who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Notice that Jesus endured the cross, and all that went with it, "...for the joy that was set before Him..." There is a purpose for what we do and for what God is doing through us. There is a great goal set before us. There is great joy NOW, but only because what is "set before us."

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