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What should I do about friendships

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Porter:
I only have one friend, and he's gay. We have different beliefs, but we're not unequally yoked in the way Paul is referring to. Religion is rarely discussed between us. I know he believes in hell, and all the knowledge I've been given can't change that, and I wouldn't even try. He does know I do not believe in hell. We've even read some of Ray's papers together.   

I think we get along because we treat each other the same way we'd like to be treated. He's a way better friend than all the other "friends" that left me after I quit doing drugs and playing video games 24/7. Looking back, I see now how some of these so-called friends were very self-righteous, with an attitude of condemnation toward others that don't sin like them.

Jesus was always being criticized by the pharisees for hanging out with sinners - sinners that knew they were sinners. What the pharisees didn't understand was that they were terrible sinners themselves. I think that's part of why Jesus always called these holier than thou religious nuts "hypocrites".

I think good friends are hard to find. Furthermore, I don't even look for friends anymore. The only one I have now, found me over 20 years ago. I think you'll know when you find the right friend, the type that will stick with you through the good and bad.

Don't be afraid to experience life, and what ever you do, acknowledge God always.

Extol:

--- Quote from: lareli on March 17, 2022, 05:52:26 PM ---Extol, reading your thoughts on hanging out with Christians. Just curious what your thoughts are on going to a church event or something.

--- End quote ---

Hi lareli (fka largeli),

I do not advocate going to church services (though there are a number of other church events one could attend, such as a wedding). My point was rejecting the hell doctrine should not automatically mean a rejection of all persons who adhere to that doctrine; hence my usage of the baby and bath idiom. Sometimes I get a mild desire to have church fellowship, but I don't go, realizing I would probably get frustrated rather quickly. Even so, there are plenty of great hymns and sermons that are spot on, theologically; plenty of hymns and sermons that do not talk about hell (or free will).

I formerly had a warehouse job where workers would rotate from section to section, so there would be different people I'd work next to from week to week. It was more engaging and productive talking to my Reformed Christian co-worker than it was talking to an unbelieving co-worker about movies. The topic of hell didn't have to be discussed. We could talk about church history, or the atoning work of Christ. They aren't awful people, even if what they believe about man's destiny is awful.

lareli:
To me, a person who believes in the hell doctrine also believes in a God who makes it so. And if the Christians goal is to become more and more like their God and also to judge like Him, well… I dunno. Just thinking out loud. Of course I know there are Christian’s who believe in hell but don’t like the idea. Others who use the belief in hell as their spiritual machine gun to kill anyone who doesn’t believe in their God.

Christian or non Christian isn’t a deal breaker for me as long as the person doesn’t push their beliefs on me.. but that doesn’t mean we can’t talk about it. So ya, church service is probably not happening. Been to 2 or 3 since coming here and it was uncomfortable. Been to church functions and was not so bad and even ‘good’. The church I came from is pretty non-denominational and I’ve never heard a service involving hell once I graduated to the big service from the youth service. But even without the hell doctrine, everything that is taught is riddled with contradictions. It’s a house made of cards.

I thank God for the gift of seeing it as so, and need reminding to not look down on people who can’t see it. Otherwise I’m now the one using what I believe as a machine gun.

Extol:

--- Quote from: lareli on March 18, 2022, 04:28:15 PM ---To me, a person who believes in the hell doctrine also believes in a God who makes it so. And if the Christians goal is to become more and more like their God and also to judge like Him, well… I dunno. Just thinking out loud. Of course I know there are Christian’s who believe in hell but don’t like the idea. Others who use the belief in hell as their spiritual machine gun to kill anyone who doesn’t believe in their God.

--- End quote ---

But we also know that most Christians do not make that connection, of God being the actual creator of hell. And most do not say that God sends people there; it is the sinners who choose to go there. I believed in hell for the first 21 years of my life, and I don't remember ever liking the idea of anybody--not even Hitler--going there. I also never thought about it as somewhere that God created. It was just a sad reality of life. That is why I like to be more sympathetic to them, because I was there; as were most of us on this forum. (I'm talking about the average hell-believing Christian, not the John Hagee types.)

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