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i have ISSUES with God

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MG:
Hi Shoani,

I've lived a very hard life and have learned some things over a long period of time.

I've learned to tell God the truth. When I am angry or afraid or worried or resentful I take it to God. I don't wrestle with God, but wrestle before God. I ask him to put my will in subjection to his will.

sub·ject 
adj.
Being in a position or in circumstances that place one under the power or authority of another or others.

I usually feel unwanted emotions when my will is wrestling against God's will in my life. I know that all things that happen in my life are God's will. If I'm fighting my circumstances I'm fighting God. God uses those circumstances to fulfill his purpose in my life and the lives of others. I've had deep hidden things within me that required very hard circumstances to bring them to light. When I see them I confess them and tell God the truth and put them in front of him and ask him to put them in subjection.

God doesn't show me these things so I will feel guilt or condemnation. He shows me these things so he can purify me from all unrighteousness. It's very hard and even harder to watch those I love go through suffering. My 13 year old grandson had chronic daily migraines for 4 years. He was in bed for 4 years in severe pain. That was hard, but I knew in my heart that God was fulfilling his purpose in my grandson's life. I battled with anger and kept putting it before God. My grandson just started school again this week. Ray said that being saved is the hardest thing any of us will ever go through. I would have to agree with that.

Romans 8:1Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.


1 John 1:8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.

1 Peter 4:1Forasmuch then as Christ hath suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves likewise with the same mind: for he that hath suffered in the flesh hath ceased from sin;
2That he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh to the lusts of men, but to the will of God.

gmik:
God bless you Shoani for your honesty with us.

Stay with us and keep reading Ray.

Your best days are yet to come! I just know it!!

I will be praying for you sister.

Love,
Gena

prarrydog:


    Hi Shoani,

   Welcome to the forum.  I truly feel for you but I am also happy for you.....you are learning the truths of God.  If you are angry at God...tell him.  Let Him have it.  He can take it.  Just remember this is all for your eventual benefit.

With love
Scott

shoani:
thanx everyone. it meant a lot to read all ur emails. am uplifted somehow.
its just that sometimes, like this morning i felt his presence around me but sometimes he is so far away, and i mean faarrrr away from me. have been listening to a one song in my car and i started giving thanx for everything i have.
and thanx for saying that Bobby that i must start telling him when am mad with him. i was brought up not to disrespect and it kind of felt bad to tell God that he sometimes makes me mad though i still luv and respect him greatly. Guys, i have seen him working in my life before and i know he keeps his promises but  I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND HIS WAYS AT TIMES. My late father never liked church or reading the bible and yet he died peacefully in his sleep without any struggle of being ill but my mother guys, my mother was something out of this world and not only to me but to our neiboughs who even today R still whipping for her. this horrible Cancer had ravaged her and she was yellow all over the body and that thought is messing my mind and leaves me shattered every time cos that is the last memory i have of her.
but guess i have to be strong now cos am a big girl neh.

 PS: and guys, U must have been praying very hard for me cos this morning i left my hubby doing laudry and that was rather unussual coming from him. he is more calmer than he used to and i was surprised by what i saw. am still amazed. as small as that is but who knows that God has already started moving his mind.

once again thanx
shoani

hart4god:
Dear Shoani,

well, hello!

I can relate to your anguish and despair-my mother also died of pancreatic cancer 20 years ago when I was about your age and it was a horrible and guesome experience for all. My father had been dead 15 years at the time and my mother's death  left me also with a sister to take care of who caused so much trouble with money and such......it threatened our relationship to the core but she was all I had for family and I had to take the abuse or else.

 and in seasons we all feel that out marriages are so-so or even doomed as we stuggle somehow to overcome or even survive. It is all sometime so freakin' much work that I cannot believe that God is in this- but like you, I know He is and in despair I can have some comfort that SOME ONE KNOWS WHAT IS GOING ON!  :)
since most of the time I don't!

I also work at a job that I strongly dislike; I feel that I am helping the partners in this practice feed their greed and neglet the need. But it is surely God that gave me this job and I believe He is working out His plan for my life through this time here. It makes every day extremely hard.

The one thing that really helps is getting some support to stand in the day of adversity- support that you almost always will find on this forum. These people understand that firey trials are working God's purpose and there is love and acceptance instead of judgement for that. What a relief it was for me to find people who do not condemn you when your life is hard- in the past it was always, "Well, what are you doing wrong, and what is your hidden sin, and God is judging you." I know God is judging me (evaluating my character) now out of love and desire to correct and refine. Not punish my mistakes without mercy or good intent.

Having Issues with God is GOOD. I know it can lead you to finding Truth. I am finally figuring out what it means that He is Sovereign. and so I can finally accept that He is Love.
Blessing on you  and your husband as you walk each day.
and people will be praying for you-especially and the anniversary of your mom's death is near- I have those days, too. it is ok to grieve your loss. and hold on to your hopes.
love,
judie

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