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Author Topic: Growing through regret  (Read 4081 times)

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all4love

  • Guest
Growing through regret
« on: September 13, 2006, 02:32:15 PM »

I'm not really sure if I am posting this in the right section but I wanted to share this with everyone.  I got this in my email and I read through it and it just really hit home for me cause I look back on my life and I see how I have been everyone but myself and now I ask God daily to show me who I am.  Because I am tired of being everyone else, I want to be me.  In this process of trying to find out and learning who I am, I am faced with many regrets. And believe me when I say it is VERY painful.


Growing through regret
by John Fischer



Where does character come from? For one thing, it comes from hardship. “We can rejoice, too,” said Paul, “when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us – they help us learn to endure. And endurance develops strength of character in us ….” (Romans 5:3-4)

I think it is safe to say there is no way to have character without pain, failure, and hardship. Sometimes we short-circuit what God is trying to build in us because we avoid these things or we refuse to face up to our shortcomings or our sins.

In the movie Big Kahuna, a young Baptist fresh out of Christian college played by Peter Facinelli is on his first business trip with two co-workers played by Kevin Spacey and Danny DeVito. The young Baptist is admirable, working hard to stay true to his Christian convictions amidst Spacey’s foul-mouthed cynicism and DeVito’s honest questions about God. Though the young Baptist’s faith is sincere, it is untested, and as Danny DeVito points out, it hasn’t yet touched the whole of his life. The character played by DeVito is actually closer to truly knowing God than the young Baptist in that he is searching and asking all the right questions.

In a final scene, DeVito makes a stinging observation of the young Christian. He tells Bob that in his opinion, though he is sincere, he has no character, and the reason he has no character is that he hasn’t lived long enough to regret anything. To which Bob replies, as I would have at his age because I had the same perception of myself then, “You mean I have to do something I’ll regret in order to have character?”

“No Bob,” says Danny DeVito, “you have plenty of things to regret. You just don’t know what they are.”

We are all in the process of finding out who we are in Christ, but part of that also includes finding out just how far we have to go to get there. It’s a painful process, but the more we avoid it, the more we deny the very thing that will build character in us and cause us to grow. We grow from facing the truth about ourselves, even when that truth is something regrettable. There is no shortcut to the character that comes from the pain of confession and the joy of being saved. And this is a daily occurrence.

Pray that God will open your eyes to the things that will build character into your life. Ask God to show you what he wants to teach you about yourself today, even if it’s something you might regret.

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YellowStone

  • Guest
Re: Growing through regret
« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2006, 02:44:07 PM »

All4Love Posted:

He tells Bob that in his opinion, though he is sincere, he has no character, and the reason he has no character is that he hasn’t lived long enough to regret anything. To which Bob replies, as I would have at his age because I had the same perception of myself then, “You mean I have to do something I’ll regret in order to have character?”

“No Bob,” says Danny DeVito, “you have plenty of things to regret. You just don’t know what they are.”

[/color]

All4Love, this is an excellent post and as far as I am concerned. posted in the correct place.

I really like the above quote, because it truly does sum the subject of regret very well.

Life offers many opportunities that often lead to regret. Certainly, I have my owbn fair share. But, I think the real point of regret is NOT beating yourself up for being so stupid, or ignorant; but, rather thanking God for allowing you to see your mistake.

Realistically, how many of us can look back and say that they would have done things differently, knowing no more or less than they did back when..... When you look at it this way, God is so gracious for not holding us accountable for things past, for he is directing our every step.

So All4Love, I think your true self shows pretty clearly in this forum. :)

Great Post,

Darren
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orion77

  • Guest
Re: Growing through regret
« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2006, 05:00:29 PM »

Good thread, All4love.

By reading the book of Job, he was righteous in his generations, yet untested.  Going through the many sufferings and trials, I love what Job says in the last chapter.  They speak very clearly of true repentence we each must go through.


(Job 42:1)  And Job answered Jehovah and said:

(Job 42:2)  I know that You can do all, and no purpose is withheld from You.

(Job 42:3)  Who is this hiding counsel without knowledge? So I declared, but did not understand things too wonderful for me; yea, I did not know.

(Job 42:4)  I pray, Listen, and I will speak; I will ask You, and You will make me know.

(Job 42:5)  I have heard of You by hearing of the ear, but now my eye has seen You;

(Job 42:6)  Therefore, I despise myself, and I have repented on dust and ashes.


That glorious Light, when it shines on us in the darkness to bring us out of sleep and into the dawn will burn all the hay and stubble.  Silver and gold is not precious until purified through fire, so it is with us.  His ways are past finding out, but a whole lot of fun searching.

God bless,

Gary
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all4love

  • Guest
Re: Growing through regret
« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2006, 01:41:57 PM »

Thank you Darren and Gary, I don't think I am very good with words so I usually just post things that I find like poems and this article.  I thank you for your kind words.
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chuckusa

  • Guest
Re: Growing through regret
« Reply #4 on: September 15, 2006, 03:00:24 PM »

Hi All4love,

That is all very true. Pain builds character.

Any time things get real bad, my wife just mumbles that to me with a goofy smile on her face, and we laugh...what else can you do?

I wouldn't trade my pain for the soft shallow lives I see being lived out all around me.

Now I'm not talking about self imposed pain (as it were) because I see that all around me too.

We thank God every day for the blindness that allowed us to see, and for the weakness that allowed us to be strong, and for the hatred that allowed us to love. All good things... that started with pain and regret.

Love,
Chuck
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