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Anybody remember Steven Wright?

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hillsbororiver:
Steven Wright 01


You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading . . . And all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.

Last night, I walked up to this beautiful woman in a bar and asked her, "Do you live around here often?" She said, "You're wearing two different colored socks." I said, "Yes, but to me they're the same because I go by thickness." Then she asked, "How do you feel?" and I said, "Well, you know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs then you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time."

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

Lots of comedians have people they try to mimic. I mimic my shadow.

I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one . . . It wasn't doing what I was doing.

I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me--and I didn't hear it.

I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that."

He asked me if I knew what time it was. I said, "Yes, but not right now."

I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.

a_child_of_God:
Humor!! I love it!!!

Those are funny. Especially the one about the time.

Ruth

gmik:
I think he is hilarious.

Sorin & Rodger posted some of his a while back.

Joe, I think you are still sky high from the conference!! ;D

hillsbororiver:
Thank you Ruth! Gena, you are absolutely correct, the Conference recharged my spiritual batteries big time. The presentations made by Ray, the fellowship of my Brothers and Sisters, but most of all the presence of the Spirit was at times overwhelming.

I was looking forward to the next one the minute this one ended.

Hie Peace and Wisdom to you,

Joe

SandyFla:

--- Quote from: hillsbororiver on September 13, 2006, 08:25:29 PM ---I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.

--- End quote ---

I gotta remember that one! :)

Sandy

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