Hi Andrevan,
Your story is a strong testimony to how the teaching of hell really is destroying the lives of some people. There are people who profit (if you can call abusing others profiting) by the horrible fear this teaching is creating. It is important to remember that even this teaching has been allowed by God, He is controlling all things. With this in mind, I feel even more grateful for being brought out of that fear, and thankful that God revealed Himself to me in such a wonderful way.
I was, like your wife, seriously depressed because of the "turn or burn" teachings, for a period of about one year. In the end I wanted nothing to do with that god. I started believing that the god of the Bible was not the true God, he couldn't be! God was already beginning to prepare me for discovering the Truth, I guess. Then after a period of five years I began "picking up the loose threads", and then one fine day I found Bible-truths.com via an ad on Google.
Since then I'm really humbled by the fact that I know so little, as God once showed me that in fact I didn't know ANYTHING about Him until He revealed Himself to me. EVERYTHING I believed was wrong, really EVERYTHING. Nothing they teach in organized religion is true:
For, behold, the Lord, Jehovah of hosts, doth take away from Jerusalem and from Judah stay and staff, the whole stay of bread, and the whole stay of water; (Isa 3:1 ASV)
I'm discovering day by day how utterly false and wrong my believes used to be. This is "coming out of Babylon", something we must face on a daily basis, the rest of our lives, Lord willing.
God bless you and keep you,
Eirik