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Author Topic: humor-on how to change your oil  (Read 2495 times)

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  • Guest
humor-on how to change your oil
« on: October 31, 2006, 06:04:25 PM »

My husband does all the maintenance on our cars (4) 2 teenage drivers  :P
He does a really good job of it too.
But this was so funny, I had to post it  ;D

How to Change Your Oil


1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube 3000 miles after the last oil change.

2. Drink a cup of coffee.

3. Fifteen minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.


1. Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and scented tree.

2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.

3. Open a beer and drink it.

4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

7. Place drain pan under engine.

8. Look for 13mm box end wrench.

9. Give up and use crescent wrench.

10. Unscrew drain plug.

11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on hand in the process.

12. Clean up.

13. Have another beer while oil is draining.

14. Look for oil filter wrench.

15. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips head screwdriver and twist it off.

16. Beer.

17. Buddy shows up. Finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.

18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car, dump in hole in back yard.

19. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during steps 11, 15, & 18.

20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.

21. Walk to 7-11 and buy beer.

22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to gasket first.

23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

24. Remember drain plug from step 11.

25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan. Pan is empty. Find drain plug in back yard hole.

26. Hurry to replace drain plug as last drop of fresh oil drains onto floor.

27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.

28. Bang head on bumper in reaction.

29. Begin cussing fit.

30. Throw wrench.

31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December (1982).

32. Clean up. Apply Band-Aid to knuckle.

33. Beer.

34. Beer.

35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.

36. Beer.

37. Lower car from jack stands.

38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.

39. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during step 26.

40. Drive car a quart low for 7000 miles when it'll be time for another oil change.



  • Guest
Re: humor-on how to change your oil
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2006, 09:06:45 AM »

Hi Kat,

 Are you sure you don't live next door to me!!!! ;D :o :-\ :-X

Good one!!!!


Chris R

  • Guest
Re: humor-on how to change your oil
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2006, 10:25:04 AM »


You forgot between steps 25 and 26...cross threaded drain plug, had to pull motor to remove oil pan, hoist broke, busted starter, bent hood, scratched fenders, then proceeded to step 27.....4 days later.


Chris R

Men are sometimes odd creatures.


  • Guest
Re: humor-on how to change your oil
« Reply #3 on: November 26, 2006, 11:48:04 PM »

 ;D ;D ;D


I am glad God created me a Woman......hear me meow when it comes to car upkeep.



  • Guest
Re: humor-on how to change your oil
« Reply #4 on: November 27, 2006, 11:17:53 AM »

:D :D :D ahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!
Hey Kat, some women like to drink beer while watching husband and friend throw wrenches and oil pans in the front yard....that's always fun too!


  • Guest
Re: humor-on how to change your oil
« Reply #5 on: December 10, 2006, 06:55:36 PM »

Hi all,

 It is taking so long to go through back to previous posts.  My comment on how the men change oil, I am not sure they could get half-way through the process with all the beer they drink.  Mental note, go and change the oil myself rather than having a passed out man on the driveway and forgetting about it, and risking driviing over him LOL.



  Anne C. McGuire
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