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Author Topic: Spilt milk-don't cry  (Read 9459 times)

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JJ

  • Guest
Spilt milk-don't cry
« on: November 14, 2006, 01:01:14 PM »

Quoting Ray from a recent email exchange:

"One giant benefit of knowing that all is of God according to His plan and intention, is that you will
no longer cry over spilt milk.  Yesterday's problems and heartaches will not haunt you.  You will not
worry anymore over why you didn't do differently.  NOW you can learn and do differently--
FORGETTING THE PAST."

So profoundly true.   Makes life totally different for me.  What about you all?

We don't have to keep a perfectly clean slate, with all the regrets that we missed
opportunities or failed to do what needed to be done.  We are NOT gods to control
and effect the outcome of life!  But we do HAVE a true GOD that is in control!  WOW! 

We can agree with God about our weakness and sin.  We can know that He had a
different plan than the "perfect" way we thought it should go and failed to accomplish--
for God has purposes that we can not see nor understand-- purposes to bring all to
Himself.  And this realization/belief does not make us lax or careless about
our life and sin.  It makes me desire to do better and turn from sin. 

Sets me free!  Brings peace and joy!  A miracle in this crazy world that seems out of control!

Can any of you share about how learning of God's total sovereignty has changed your life?
Jayle
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brothertoall

  • Guest
Re: Spilt milk-don't cry
« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2006, 02:20:21 PM »

Jayle,

 I can tell this is going to be a great thread you started here.

 In the world of christiandom I was constantly trying to live by the rules that man put upon me. I was ever striving to do better,I was always trying to do for God instead of letting Him do it in me.

 I was trying so hard to please Him with what I could do or not do and it was pure agony. I had a real I problem and was blind in both!

 He has set me free from that I problem.

 There are times when I have thoughts of what I did and the sins that I commited and I do believe it is the adversary that likes to throw these sins back in our faces at times.And here is what the scripture has to say about that:

Philippians 3:12-14 

 12 Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.

 13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

 14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

 Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

It is not always easy and pleasant to go through at times but God will finish His work in us all!!That is enough to stand up and shout with JOY!!!

bobby

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orion77

  • Guest
Re: Spilt milk-don't cry
« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2006, 02:31:58 PM »

So true, Jayle.

For me, when the beast was recognized, and the carnality took its place under the soverignity of God was truly liberating.  This was a process that took many years, only because of my own stubborness.  Now, seeing the simplicity in Christ, is a freedom that only God can give.


God bless,

Gary

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JJ

  • Guest
Re: Spilt milk-don't cry
« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2006, 02:51:28 PM »

Bobby, this thread is getting better, now that you shared your experience and we can always count on you
for relevent scripture.  Thanks.  Great vereses!   How many times have we read, quoted, heard those scriptures, but do we
really GET the meaning?  I think we do understand them more accurately, as they were intended, NOW
that we understand God's sovereignty, purpose and refining work to save ALL.  

We are not striving to make ourselves perfect, as many of us learned in religion (even the non-legalistic/grace only
nondenominations).   We are reaching forward, pressing for the prize of the high-calling of God in Christ Jesus.   But
most of my reaching is pleading for strength and mercy and most of my pressing is in determination to endure and
keep faith in the face of the painful refinement process.  There is always that awareness that God brings that I was
being carnal-minded or selfish and it is kinda like-- trip, stumble, fall, bounce up and with a quick look back to see
what it was that tripped me, keep moving forward with the mental note to look out for that "stumbling block" in the
future.  There is repentence/agreement with God happening during that process, but not the beating myself up
thing-- that is really kinda prideful in my experience- because it means I didn't want to make a mistake--I wanted
to be perfect.  Have to think deeply and go round and round to realize that.  Once we see we are nothing/sinful, we
aren't shocked by our failings.  

Anyway, it is no longer the list of "do's and don't's"  of religion to make myself a better christian:  go to church,
give my time serving the church, read my Bible, go to meeting/studies, pray, cram salvation down someone's
throat--- do NOT drink, smoke, dance, cuss....... etc...... the list varies form one denomination to another, but
we now realize WE aren't saved by our own faith, nor are we kept by our own works..... it is ALL of God!  

It was pure agony before wasn't it.  Now it is just suffering, losing self...... but kinda like cleaning house for a
move...... no fun to do, but after the "junk" is gone......... aaaahhhh....... the burdens are lighter.    Peace!

Yes, Gary, it is a liberation that only God can give us!

Can't wait to hear more testimonies from others as well.  It is very encouraging to hear others speak truths
of God in reference to real life experiences in their lives.  
Jayle

 
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brothertoall

  • Guest
Re: Spilt milk-don't cry
« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2006, 04:15:33 PM »

Jayle how wonderful it is to know that God loves you and all here,all His creation and little ole me!
That was revealed to me the day I knew God was a God of love & redemtion and not some god that apperantly could not wait to throw those that were not in the clique of christiandom straight into a hell of torment.

Here are one of my favorite verses:

John 12:47 And if any man hear my words, and believe not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world.

Now you did it Jayle and you got me happy and thankful to our Father.Thank you for the blessing my friend.

bobby(bob)
« Last Edit: November 14, 2006, 04:18:41 PM by brothertoall »
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MG

  • Guest
Re: Spilt milk-don't cry
« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2006, 05:48:54 PM »

One of the first truths I learned was to "Rest" I used to toss and turn in my sleep and fight to rest. I always used to ask How do I stop sinning? How do I stop this emotional pain? How do I walk the way other Christians do in the church? How do I stop being the black sheep? I learned to do nothing and rest, but I didn't know why. I was just trying to do it because God was showing me to rest.

After that the Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door and I thought I would study with them and maybe show them some truth, lol. Through the weekly study some scriptures came up that nailed me and I saw the beast. I saw how utterly sinful I was and was totally knocked off my feet. I knew then that there was absolutely nothing I could do to save myself. It was utterly hopeless and not in my power. I knew then that it didn't matter how hard I tried to make myself good because I could never be good enough to measure up to the high standards of God.

It was a long struggle after that to accept and confess who I am to God without striving to try to change myself. It's a hard place to be in at first. I was always tempted to strive to be good enough. Resting was a difficult new concept. God kept driving it home.
Hebrews 4
9There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God.
10For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his.
11Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief.

Over the next several years I learned that there is No Free Will. I was sitting on my porch and the No Free Will truth combined with the Rest truth fell together and I yelled out "It's not my job" It was truly liberating.

I am always accountable to God for who I am. I confess and agree with that as God shows me. I am not responsible for changing any of that. It is not my job.

Philippians 2:13
For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.


Psalm 149:4
For the LORD taketh pleasure in his people: he will beautify the meek with salvation.

I have been under severe trials for many years. I do not have to pretend that I have joy through any of this. I do not have to strive to put on a happy face.  Right now all I can do is endure. That is really all I can do. That is the truth. I look to God and confess that I'm still kicking. I look to God and confess that my heart is not grateful. I look to God and confess that I'm still self absorbed. I look to God and confess that I'm still holding onto to idols of comfort and a "normal" life here. I would still love to have the little yellow house with the white picket fence. I want my family whole and healthy and happy. I want to spare them of the trials that are also necessary in their life with God. I still kick and do not surrender in some areas of my life. I confess that too. Even endurance is a gift from God. I could not endure all of this unless he allowed me to. It amazes me that I'm still alive.

I love reading that others also believe this.

God is good.

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Scribbles

  • Guest
Re: Spilt milk-don't cry
« Reply #6 on: November 14, 2006, 06:25:11 PM »

When I read that email exchange today, it was so profound to me, also ! I printed it out, and it's also going to be saved to my notes.  I was going to start a post about it, and when I came back later today, it was already started by another.....Concerning this subject, cant you just hear all the "amens!!!" ? God is so good to bring us together, spiritually. Just last night I was meditating on Jobs wife.....and how we've been taught "not to look back", etc.  Well, in talking with the Lord, I told Him not only that I believe I've learned the reason why I'm not suppose to "look back", and that I don't want "things" to remain in my heart, either. For years, I've tried and tried to shed all those "wudda, shudda, cudda's" in my life....and now I know why it couldn't be done. Since coming to this site and forum this past summer, there's been a whole new meaning of "to lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me........to forget those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead......and to press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus"....Phil 3 vs.12-14.......This all fell in perspective so strongly......and when Ray made that statement...."You will not have to worry anymore over why you didn't do differently. Now, you can learn to do differently--Forgetting The Past! " Yes, now we can read it, meditate on it, know its true,.......and all that.....but now I can actually "live it" !!  How many times have we heard ......? ....... once the Word moves from your brain to your heart.....then it will bring forth the fruit, etc.  He gives us strength for today, and tomorrow......not for the things of the past. (duh !!).....yet, wasn't that what it was all about when we were trying to live a 'christian life' while we were in the Babylonian system?  That's why I was struggling so hard to 'get over my past'.....and to try to please God. He's truly setting me free....with the truth.
Scribbles
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brothertoall

  • Guest
Re: Spilt milk-don't cry
« Reply #7 on: November 15, 2006, 09:27:05 AM »

MG thank you so much for that post and I can relate to everything you said. It is truly wonderful that God is in control of everything in my life. Through everything He leads and directs me through is all according to His will and I will admit that I do not understand sometimes why, but it is very good to know and realize that all is of Him. He has set me free in many ways.

 I really like this thread and thank you very,very,very much JJ for starting this. I really needed this and you will never know what a real blessing this has been to me so far.

 I just hope others will reply to this thread and we can all be a blessing to one another.

Love to you all,

bobby(bob)
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JJ

  • Guest
Re: Spilt milk-don't cry
« Reply #8 on: November 15, 2006, 10:14:58 AM »

Wow!  Thanks to all that have shared! 
Long day today, will re-read these post tomorrow and
hope there will be new ones as well.  Keep sharing
and thanks again..... so good to hear others tell
of God's work in their lives!
jj
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PKnowler

  • Guest
Re: Spilt milk-don't cry
« Reply #9 on: November 15, 2006, 01:23:04 PM »

Quoting Ray from a recent email exchange:

"One giant benefit of knowing that all is of God according to His plan and intention, is that you will
no longer cry over spilt milk.  Yesterday's problems and heartaches will not haunt you.  You will not
worry anymore over why you didn't do differently.  NOW you can learn and do differently--
FORGETTING THE PAST."

Can any of you share about how learning of God's total sovereignty has changed your life?
Jayle

Hi Jayle,

     I do believe in God's sovereignty in ALL things and I have come to believe that God will reconcile everything and everyone unto Himself. But as far as not crying over spilt milk and yesterday's decisions not haunting me, I have not come that far yet. I do believe I will one day though, so I am patient with myself.

 My son died by suicide 4 years ago. I can't help but feel like it was my fault. He wanted to come home and I wouldn't let him because he was drinking and using drugs. After several years of his rebellion, and his drinking and doing drugs, I realized that I couldn't help him. I told him that I couldn't help him but I found a place that could help him (rehab) and I would take him there. He didn't want to go so I couldn't make him. He went to live with an aunt and 3 months later (after much tough love from her and me) he took his life.

I wish knowing that God had it all in control would take away this pain! I miss him so much! I have had people close to me die before and nothing compares to this pain. My father died this year; I had a full term stillborn baby girl; My husband died in 1993 and left me a widow with 5 children, and none of those deaths even compare to the pain of my son's death. Even though it has been 4 years the pain is as fresh as yesterday. It is because of this though that I sought the scriptures looking for peace because I feared my son was lost and going to hell. I had no peace or joy. How can you have joy in your savlvation if the ones you love go to Hell?

 I had come to believe in God's sovereignty so I had to believe that God was in control of what happened in my sons life. Also I believed that no one comes to the Son except God draws them. So I wondered why God had not drawn my son after my many prayers. I had taught my son better than this. I raised him a Christian. This really effected my relationship with God for many years. I felt God was cold hearted and cruel damning people who didn't have a chance. Praise God it isn't so!

The scriptures have opened up to me like never before. I am so excited! I feel like I have finally touched the hem of His garment and am beginning to know God after being a Christian all my life. I want to let everyone know. There is so much for me to learn. I believe that people are truly blinded so they can't see. It takes a revelation of God to understand. I feel like I am in the threshway of the door and there is so much to explore. I am just beginning! Even though I still have great pain because of the death of my son I believe it was this event that God used for me to seek for truth and for Him to reveal Himself to me. Praise God! God is Love, Love never fails! His mercy endures forever! How could it be otherwise. I was blind but now I see! Amen

Blessings, Paula


« Last Edit: November 15, 2006, 01:33:01 PM by PKnowler »
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ciy

  • Guest
Re: Spilt milk-don't cry
« Reply #10 on: November 15, 2006, 01:37:18 PM »

This brings to mind an email I sent the other day to some seekers.  It is true that it is all about God.  Every moment that is past is exactly what God wanted you to do.  That is amazing when that truth begins to erode away the traditions of man in your heartmind.
See the following:

I heard on the radio this morning a man talking about how he did whatever he wanted to before he dedicated his life to Christ.  Implying that after he came to Christ he did not do what he wanted, but he did good things.  What will actually happen when one has truly died to self and been crucified with Christ, is that then they will do whatever they want to do.  This is what the verse in Psalm 37 is saying when it says"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."  If one is struggling to do good, then they have not completely died to Christ.  YOUR good works are as filthy rags.  It is God working through you producing good works in you.  I, like Paul, do not count myself to have achieved so I press on toward that mark set before me hungering and thirsting after God.  Knowing that knowing the truth I am set free because I realize it is all about God, but when it is complete and the Son sets me free then I will be free indeed.
 
It is a process, but one that counts it all joy knowing that it is not in a man to guide his own steps that his steps are ordered by the Lord and that God works all things to the good.  Knowing the ending of a thing is better than the beginning is worth rejoicing over.
 
Stick this in your heart and smoke it.


That is the end of the email.  I hope it blesses you all.
CIY
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PKnowler

  • Guest
Re: Spilt milk-don't cry
« Reply #11 on: November 15, 2006, 01:43:08 PM »

This brings to mind an email I sent the other day to some seekers.  It is true that it is all about God.  Every moment that is past is exactly what God wanted you to do.  That is amazing when that truth begins to erode away the traditions of man in your heartmind.
See the following:

I heard on the radio this morning a man talking about how he did whatever he wanted to before he dedicated his life to Christ.  Implying that after he came to Christ he did not do what he wanted, but he did good things.  What will actually happen when one has truly died to self and been crucified with Christ, is that then they will do whatever they want to do.  This is what the verse in Psalm 37 is saying when it says"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."  If one is struggling to do good, then they have not completely died to Christ.  YOUR good works are as filthy rags.  It is God working through you producing good works in you.  I, like Paul, do not count myself to have achieved so I press on toward that mark set before me hungering and thirsting after God.  Knowing that knowing the truth I am set free because I realize it is all about God, but when it is complete and the Son sets me free then I will be free indeed.
 
It is a process, but one that counts it all joy knowing that it is not in a man to guide his own steps that his steps are ordered by the Lord and that God works all things to the good.  Knowing the ending of a thing is better than the beginning is worth rejoicing over.
 
Stick this in your heart and smoke it.


That is the end of the email.  I hope it blesses you all.
CIY


It does bless me CIY!

I will stick it in my heart not to forget it. I pray I don't fall back into old ways of thinking I can do anything righteous.
God get this one into my spirit! Amen!

Praise God!

~Paula

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chuckt

  • Guest
Re: Spilt milk-don't cry
« Reply #12 on: November 15, 2006, 02:17:53 PM »

paula .

may you be comforted by the great awsome comforter!!

if in this life we only have hope we are most miserable.


grace and peace to you

may the peace of Christ envelope you!!!
chuckt AKA euty
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brothertoall

  • Guest
Re: Spilt milk-don't cry
« Reply #13 on: November 15, 2006, 02:54:47 PM »

Paula,

 Thank you so much for having the courage to post that testimony. I too have had alot of tragedy in my life and I was very angry with God for a long time. He was so patient and loving of me and he was there through it all. I did not realize it then but now I understand why those things had to happen.

 I don't fully understand it all but 99.9% of it seems clear as to why. I am sure there will be other things that will test me but I am sure He will still be there to see me through it all.

 James 1:3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

 1 Peter 1:6-7 

 6 Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:
 
7That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:

bobby

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orion77

  • Guest
Re: Spilt milk-don't cry
« Reply #14 on: November 15, 2006, 05:24:09 PM »

Paula, thanks for sharing that with us.  God bless your heart and the courage He gave you.  What a great day it will be when we are in the same place with our loved ones.  May the peace that passes all understanding reside upon you through your trials.

God bless,

Gary
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brothertoall

  • Guest
Re: Spilt milk-don't cry
« Reply #15 on: November 15, 2006, 05:31:52 PM »

Paula please forgive me for being so selfish and going on about me. That was not right! I want you to know that I pray that you will have the peace of our Father and He will give you understanding.

love to you dear sister,

bobby
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PKnowler

  • Guest
Re: Spilt milk-don't cry
« Reply #16 on: November 15, 2006, 05:44:53 PM »

Paula please forgive me for being so selfish and going on about me. That was not right! I want you to know that I pray that you will have the peace of our Father and He will give you understanding.

love to you dear sister,

bobby

Bobby,

   Ha ha You are funny. With all due respect Dear sweet Brother- You have not been selfish. It is me that has been selfish. It appears that "I" have stolen the thread. I was kind of feeling convicted about it. But you know everyone's response to my post is greatly appreciated! Thank you all! It is nice to know that I am not alone in my beliefs. Praise God!

Blessings, Paula
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brothertoall

  • Guest
Re: Spilt milk-don't cry
« Reply #17 on: November 15, 2006, 05:48:38 PM »

Paula thank you my friend and I think that is why Jayle started this thread so that we can all share with each other and I am just loving every word of it.I am sure Jayle is enjoying very much also.

bobby
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MG

  • Guest
Re: Spilt milk-don't cry
« Reply #18 on: November 15, 2006, 10:07:55 PM »

Paula,

My son is an alcoholic and his alcoholism progressed to the point that he was walking in a blackout from morning until he went to bed. One time a few years ago he also became addicted to crack and called me suicidal on the streets. I went and got him and took him to a 60 day rehab. He came back home and stayed with me for 3 months and stayed sober. Then one night he drank and became violent. He stabbed a knife in the fence right next to me and broke every light on the outside of my house. I had to lock him out. He then tried breaking my windows and I had to call the police. I tried very hard that night to get him arrested, but they wouldn't do it.

It started raining and was freezing outside. He kept ringing the doorbell every 30 minutes trying to get me to let him in. I logically thought that I can't help him and it would not do us any good if I died with him. I turned my heater off because I couldn't stand that he was freezing and I was warm. I sat in the dark in the kitchen and listen to the doorbell ring all night. The emotional pain was so bad for me that at one point I felt something inside me die and shut down. At that point I saw the Father for the first time. I had been following Jesus, but never had a relationship with our Father. The Father revealed to me his heart that night. He showed me a little of it through my experience with my pain over my son. He showed me that he loves us so much that he gave his son so we all can be saved.

I didn't know if my son would live through the night, but he did. He knocked on the door that morning and I handed him out a sandwich and a hot cup of coffee and sent him on his way homeless. He was broken and I was broken. I knew my boundaries and knew that enabling him would just as easily cause his death as sending him out in the world. Having him take responsibility and live his own consequences that God gives him was and still is what God wants me to do. God's purpose will be fulfilled in life and in death. There is no changing God's will. 

My son threatens suicide a lot. His last attempt was a couple of months ago. I helped him again outside my home. I sent him to the hospital and did not let him in after he was released. I know that I did not cause his alcoholism. I can't cure it and I can't control him or his drinking. I've learned that I can't keep him alive. I've learned that I don't have the power over his life and death. God's will for his life will prevail no matter what I do.

I work with mothers every day who have lost their children to addiction Paula. You are not alone. They also kept their boundaries in place when their children died. It really is the best chance their children had to find recovery from their addiction. You will wake up with your son one day and God will restore all to you. We do not grieve like those who have no hope. My husband took his own life many years ago so I know some of the pain you are facing. Trust in God and he will see you through this. Guilt was the last thing I learned to let go of. Guilt is useless and changes nothing. You can't change the past so guilt has no purpose. I had to think of other things when I found myself obsessing on guilt. I found that I obsessed because I was trying to fix it. Then I realized it couldn't be fixed. I had to let it go.

May God continue to bless you Paula.

Hugs,
MG
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JJ

  • Guest
Re: Spilt milk-don't cry
« Reply #19 on: November 16, 2006, 02:22:26 PM »

Thanks to all that have shared-Bob, Scribbles, Gary, CIY, MG and Paula.
  In my mind, nobody was being selfish.  All were sharing from the heart and it helped me.
Can't talk now or explain, but God used your experiences to show me things concerning my own experiences.

My heart aches for Paula and MG - my son is alcoholic, but functioning.   Can't bear the thought of the pain you two have
and will have to endure.    too close to home for me...... can't  speak now........ thanks for sharing and may God comfort
your hearts and continue to grow you in faith.
love to you all,
jayle
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