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Spilt milk-don't cry
MG:
One of the first truths I learned was to "Rest" I used to toss and turn in my sleep and fight to rest. I always used to ask How do I stop sinning? How do I stop this emotional pain? How do I walk the way other Christians do in the church? How do I stop being the black sheep? I learned to do nothing and rest, but I didn't know why. I was just trying to do it because God was showing me to rest.
After that the Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door and I thought I would study with them and maybe show them some truth, lol. Through the weekly study some scriptures came up that nailed me and I saw the beast. I saw how utterly sinful I was and was totally knocked off my feet. I knew then that there was absolutely nothing I could do to save myself. It was utterly hopeless and not in my power. I knew then that it didn't matter how hard I tried to make myself good because I could never be good enough to measure up to the high standards of God.
It was a long struggle after that to accept and confess who I am to God without striving to try to change myself. It's a hard place to be in at first. I was always tempted to strive to be good enough. Resting was a difficult new concept. God kept driving it home.
Hebrews 4
9There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God.
10For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his.
11Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief.
Over the next several years I learned that there is No Free Will. I was sitting on my porch and the No Free Will truth combined with the Rest truth fell together and I yelled out "It's not my job" It was truly liberating.
I am always accountable to God for who I am. I confess and agree with that as God shows me. I am not responsible for changing any of that. It is not my job.
Philippians 2:13
For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.
Psalm 149:4
For the LORD taketh pleasure in his people: he will beautify the meek with salvation.
I have been under severe trials for many years. I do not have to pretend that I have joy through any of this. I do not have to strive to put on a happy face. Right now all I can do is endure. That is really all I can do. That is the truth. I look to God and confess that I'm still kicking. I look to God and confess that my heart is not grateful. I look to God and confess that I'm still self absorbed. I look to God and confess that I'm still holding onto to idols of comfort and a "normal" life here. I would still love to have the little yellow house with the white picket fence. I want my family whole and healthy and happy. I want to spare them of the trials that are also necessary in their life with God. I still kick and do not surrender in some areas of my life. I confess that too. Even endurance is a gift from God. I could not endure all of this unless he allowed me to. It amazes me that I'm still alive.
I love reading that others also believe this.
God is good.
Scribbles:
When I read that email exchange today, it was so profound to me, also ! I printed it out, and it's also going to be saved to my notes. I was going to start a post about it, and when I came back later today, it was already started by another.....Concerning this subject, cant you just hear all the "amens!!!" ? God is so good to bring us together, spiritually. Just last night I was meditating on Jobs wife.....and how we've been taught "not to look back", etc. Well, in talking with the Lord, I told Him not only that I believe I've learned the reason why I'm not suppose to "look back", and that I don't want "things" to remain in my heart, either. For years, I've tried and tried to shed all those "wudda, shudda, cudda's" in my life....and now I know why it couldn't be done. Since coming to this site and forum this past summer, there's been a whole new meaning of "to lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me........to forget those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead......and to press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus"....Phil 3 vs.12-14.......This all fell in perspective so strongly......and when Ray made that statement...."You will not have to worry anymore over why you didn't do differently. Now, you can learn to do differently--Forgetting The Past! " Yes, now we can read it, meditate on it, know its true,.......and all that.....but now I can actually "live it" !! How many times have we heard ......? ....... once the Word moves from your brain to your heart.....then it will bring forth the fruit, etc. He gives us strength for today, and tomorrow......not for the things of the past. (duh !!).....yet, wasn't that what it was all about when we were trying to live a 'christian life' while we were in the Babylonian system? That's why I was struggling so hard to 'get over my past'.....and to try to please God. He's truly setting me free....with the truth.
Scribbles
brothertoall:
MG thank you so much for that post and I can relate to everything you said. It is truly wonderful that God is in control of everything in my life. Through everything He leads and directs me through is all according to His will and I will admit that I do not understand sometimes why, but it is very good to know and realize that all is of Him. He has set me free in many ways.
I really like this thread and thank you very,very,very much JJ for starting this. I really needed this and you will never know what a real blessing this has been to me so far.
I just hope others will reply to this thread and we can all be a blessing to one another.
Love to you all,
bobby(bob)
JJ:
Wow! Thanks to all that have shared!
Long day today, will re-read these post tomorrow and
hope there will be new ones as well. Keep sharing
and thanks again..... so good to hear others tell
of God's work in their lives!
jj
PKnowler:
--- Quote from: JJ on November 14, 2006, 01:01:14 PM ---Quoting Ray from a recent email exchange:
"One giant benefit of knowing that all is of God according to His plan and intention, is that you will
no longer cry over spilt milk. Yesterday's problems and heartaches will not haunt you. You will not
worry anymore over why you didn't do differently. NOW you can learn and do differently--
FORGETTING THE PAST."
Can any of you share about how learning of God's total sovereignty has changed your life?
Jayle
--- End quote ---
Hi Jayle,
I do believe in God's sovereignty in ALL things and I have come to believe that God will reconcile everything and everyone unto Himself. But as far as not crying over spilt milk and yesterday's decisions not haunting me, I have not come that far yet. I do believe I will one day though, so I am patient with myself.
My son died by suicide 4 years ago. I can't help but feel like it was my fault. He wanted to come home and I wouldn't let him because he was drinking and using drugs. After several years of his rebellion, and his drinking and doing drugs, I realized that I couldn't help him. I told him that I couldn't help him but I found a place that could help him (rehab) and I would take him there. He didn't want to go so I couldn't make him. He went to live with an aunt and 3 months later (after much tough love from her and me) he took his life.
I wish knowing that God had it all in control would take away this pain! I miss him so much! I have had people close to me die before and nothing compares to this pain. My father died this year; I had a full term stillborn baby girl; My husband died in 1993 and left me a widow with 5 children, and none of those deaths even compare to the pain of my son's death. Even though it has been 4 years the pain is as fresh as yesterday. It is because of this though that I sought the scriptures looking for peace because I feared my son was lost and going to hell. I had no peace or joy. How can you have joy in your savlvation if the ones you love go to Hell?
I had come to believe in God's sovereignty so I had to believe that God was in control of what happened in my sons life. Also I believed that no one comes to the Son except God draws them. So I wondered why God had not drawn my son after my many prayers. I had taught my son better than this. I raised him a Christian. This really effected my relationship with God for many years. I felt God was cold hearted and cruel damning people who didn't have a chance. Praise God it isn't so!
The scriptures have opened up to me like never before. I am so excited! I feel like I have finally touched the hem of His garment and am beginning to know God after being a Christian all my life. I want to let everyone know. There is so much for me to learn. I believe that people are truly blinded so they can't see. It takes a revelation of God to understand. I feel like I am in the threshway of the door and there is so much to explore. I am just beginning! Even though I still have great pain because of the death of my son I believe it was this event that God used for me to seek for truth and for Him to reveal Himself to me. Praise God! God is Love, Love never fails! His mercy endures forever! How could it be otherwise. I was blind but now I see! Amen
Blessings, Paula
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