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TEST RESULTS!!
brothertoall:
Thank you Jayle.
Yes I am going to meet with the guy who came in first. He really does not want the job but he is favored as the one they will pick. Again this is all up to God's will and this person may take his name off the list. If he does then again I could possibly be eligable for the promotion again.
I can not understand why God is making this so hard! This whole ordeal has been going on for months and my stomach has been tied up in knots the whole time. I haven't had a descent nights sleep since I can't rmember when.
I really apreciate all your prayers and tomorrow morning is going to be one of the hardest things for me to do and have to face all those people that thought I was a shoe in for that job. Talk about a hubbling experience!!!
bobby
Deborah-Leigh:
Hi Bobby
How did things go?.....
Peace to you
Arcturus :)
brothertoall:
I did what I said I was going to do. That man has now decided that he wants the job so it is finished. I do not feel good about this at all and cannot help but feel God has let me down.
Everyone here at work shuns me like I have the plague and that is not easy. The ones in my department who I thought were my friends seem to be taking pleasure in all this and it really hurts.
I have a big decision to make concerning my employment here and I guess I am pretty much on my own. God is going to have His way regardless and there is nothing I can do to change that.
I honestly do feel like a robot when it comes to God's will and I am seriously starting to doubt my faith.
I know this post sounds very negative but I am just being honest. I never was a good pretender!
bobby
Deborah-Leigh:
What a knock down drag out ….a knock down….drag out….. :'(
I am glad you are connected to what you are thinking and feeling. I am glad that you can share what your thoughts are in this trial you are going through.
I believe that what you are expressing is exactly how you are feeling. I believe that you are doubting your faith as you say you are.
If I can very gently, I hope….just tell you….if your faith doesn’t hold up (which I believe it will) but to address your fear…to address what you fear happening, that being that your faith will not stand up to this trial….then Okay…give your faith into the hands who has stood the trial of death….to take care of while you yield under the strain of self doubt and pain and suffering. Rejection, being shunned and outcast is exactly what Christ endured and it took Him to His death! You are sharing in His sufferings Bobby!
I know the pain of being fearful of keeping my faith. When this happened to me, Jesus arranged that I could agreed with another sibling in Christ to hand over my faith to Christ while I went to pieces. :'( It was such a blessing to release everything precious into His hands for His care and His protection....and then fall apart into the potters hands, in absolute dust particles! I only knew this in hindsight. In the moment everything looks hopeless and bleak!
Once through my trial, my faith was returned to me twice increased. …I know who will keep your faith for you unharmed and perfect in His care. Jesus. Because He cares about you. We all care about you and we all trust Jesus with you too……
It is Okay that you are feeling knocked down and dragged out because you are knocked down and you are dragged out but… you will be lifted up and you will be set on high……I believe it. I will believe it for you as I am sure others will do for you to, if Christ through this trial give you knowledge of human weakness which is beyond our carnal comprehension. If that pain is where He is leading you, then yield…even if you forget or loose sight through your pain. …He does not take His eyes off you because you are His.
Compassion towards you dear Bobby.
Peace to you
Arcturus :)
JJ:
Bobby,
Wish you weren't suffering so much, but like labor pains, you must go through this
and i strongly believe it will produce a beautiful result! God has a plan and purpose
and with your head, you must know this. Somewhere deep inside, can you tuck tail
in humilation and defeat and lonliness -- (i acknowledge your pain is real!) but also,
can you tell God you believe that He is in control and that He is love? Therefore,
can you conclude that this experience MUST be as it is and that it is not over yet?
This may motivate you to move on to something even better or it may just leave you
in a state where you clling to God until He has taught you a deeper level of trust and
you then can rejoice in the trial, seeing that it produced rich spiritual things.
Maybe, it is too soon in this loss to be saying these things to you.......... like telling
a widow a week after the death of her husband that she will be okay and love again.
If so, please forgive me and read this again later when you are ready to hear it. I mean
you know hurt..... I KNOW you have experienced an injustice/suffering/humiliation/great
loss and disappointment. It is real, your pain is real....... but then, only REAL pain
produces growth. I can feel the growth for you that is going to result from this trial.
And I have and will again be exactly where you are in your response to disappointment.
This is how i talk myself out of a downward spiral:
Life has disappointed me repeatedly to the point that i feel buried and hopeless.
But by learning of and totally believing in God's soverneignty and His faithful love for His
creation-- even me -- He has placed a faith and hope within me that allows me to
"ride" out the pain and suffering........ to barely hang on at times, at times to be numb to
the "facts" that I see in my life and have patience that it will not always be so, and at other
times, to just rejoice in the hardship, knowing that there is SOOO much more to this life
than the things you can touch and see -- and God makes me rise above the earthly
things-- accept the losses, knowing that being WITH Him is more precious than ANY
success or comfort on earth....... AND we can NOT gain Life/CHRIST WITHOUT
suffering and loss and humiliations! It just doesn't work that way........
I ask myself:
Can you yield to God's will for your life? Do you trust Him? Do you believe that He
knows more about your future and needs than you do? Do you believe He has the
power to accomplish ANYTHING that is necessary? Do you want His will, no matter
how painful it "feels" at the present? Do you have the vision for the internal/spiritual
growth that God is able to produce through this trial?
Sorry, i do have LOTS of feelings, but tend to be coldly analytical. God has impressed the FACTS
on my mind. If i choose to not believe or not submit, then i am taking on a mighty power and putting
myself on the throne and it will never result in better things for me. If i choose to submit to His will, no matter
what the trial, i have a chance of being one with Him........ that is so desirious! Honestly,
if i decide to stubbornly believe that God did me wrong and i deserve/want better, i am
in rebellion and proving that i haven't yet learned the most important lesson concerning
my beasthood and God's awesome perfection and power.
so........ even in pain and disappointment, it makes it easier to
submit and next step is rejoicing in faith that God's will is best ........... you will get there,
I know you will. Abandon yourself, crumpled, into the arms of our mighty, perfectly loving
Father and let Him turn your doubts and fears into faith and joy. He can do this. It is a
beautiful thing when He does and I know you have already experienced it in life-- do it again.
This certainly could not be a harder trial than the other ones that you have experienced and
shared with us. We are pulling and praying for you, friend. We need each other to keep
our chins up as we face the refining process.
jayle
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