sad

[mongoose]

Hi All,
   I just had something I wanted to share that I'm upset about.  So, there was this minister a long time ago who was inappropriate with me.  He spent years cultivating my trust and affection (I was a little kid at the time and he can be so sweet and charming) and then betrayed it all.  So, this guy is a friend of the family and they have always sided with him that he can do no wrong.  But they also know (and have acknowledged) that this is a problem, although apparently not enough of a problem to limit/monitor their child's contact with him.  It has been 4+ churches he has had to leave now, at least that I personally know about...as well as several other jobs.  Always with lies about why and then some form of the truth (as in, well, there were these wild accusations), always the same thing.

Well, he finally got something legal going against him but there are so many lies it's hard to tell what.  Anyway, it was couched as a law suit for the church breaking the contract by forcing him out, but there was something about how he couldn't leave town and was unable to be a minister until it was settled.  I was so happy that he was out and away from children and hopeful that it was permanent.  I am thinking it was not a civil suit but criminal charges.  I was hoping for jail time.  Anyway, he got off, so much for our "justice" system, and got all his back pay and now has been re-instated as a minister so he will be able to go find another congergation and mess up some more kids.  This makes me sick.  It's been going on for 20+ years now.  I didnt' do anything when I was a kid and I feel really bad sometimes because this disgusting person is still out there.  Of course, it wouldn't have worked since it would've been my word against his and my family's.

So, I'm very upset about this all.  But, on top of that, he now has my phone number and address and they are hoping we can all get together over the stupid holidays (sorry, I'm just not looking forward to all of this mess).   And he doesn't live far from me either now.  I deliberately didn't give him where I was although he has usually known when I moved because I'm just sick of all of this.  I went away for the weekend with my husband and didn't tell anybody and there were all these calls and people freaking out, like why would I do that?  And he had called and left a message too.  So I had a ton of messages and they were doing the whole martyr thing.   I just wanted to get away and don't feel like I should have to report my every move.  When I lived closer to my family they watched me all the time and now I'm away from that and I love it.  I've been on my own for 12+ years now and I just am so sick of all the bull.   I don't like being monitored by telephone any more than I liked being watched in person though.  I think they might be afraid of what I might say.  I don't know what to do.  I don't want to see him but I don't want to listen to my family either (who gave him my contact info) and they can be relentless.  I just don't want to get into all of it.  That part of my life is something I would never talk about with them and never have since they didn't believe me.  I dont' know what to do.  I just want all of them to go away...is that bad?

Anyway, I'm very upset and sad and feeling pretty down.  And I am so grateful to God for having me move so far away.  I really like it and it is so jarring for this to intrude again, especially when I'll be seeing everyone so soon.  If anyone has advice or some words of wisdom, I'd really appreciate it.

I love all my dear family here.  Thank you,

mongoose

[Rene]

Mongoose,

My heart goes out to you.  The only thing I can suggest is to pray, pray, pray, pray, pray and pray.   I say this because if you are anything like me, when I am the most distressed over a matter, I seem to just want to crawl under the covers and not deal with anything at all.  However, this is when we need to pray the most and trust that the Lord will help us get through this trying time.

I care about you and I will be praying for you as well.

Rene'

[longhorn]

Mongoose.  I say poison the *******.

Love in Christ

Longhorn

[rrammfcitktturjsp]

Mongoose,

  I have a few words to say on this one.  Yes it is sad with how the world judges morals and with what things people can get away with today. 

  What helps is to remember that all actions will catch up with people someday, if not on this earth then when we get judged.  Again this goes back to the free will, as sick as this sounds, God has a plan for him and things are happening in this sick person's life to lead him to where he needs to go.  Do I condone what he has done to children and what he has done in you and your family's life, heck no.  If it was up to me, I would strike him down with lightening where he stands, [NOTE:  It's a very good things I am not GOD ].  The story is not over until God says it is.  This is the only thing I can think to say with regards to this paragraph.

  Secondly,  please, please let him know how you feel.  Do not let anyone run you and your lives and bring stress and discord into your home.  I was told by a very good friend some things that have to do with this.  I have a few people in my life that are trying to control it and I feel that I have to report everything that I do to them.  1.  Tell this minister how you feel.  2. If it makes you uncomfortable with him at your house, tell him so.  I know that this next part sounds cruel, but please think on it.  3.  There are 2 things they can do to no 1-2, a. become bitter and ticked off with you, or 2 accept it and move on.  My friend has a motto, If they do not like it, feed them fisheads.  This is in reference to people that are not condcive to peace, trust, and a good relationship.

  Please do not jeopardize your holiday or your private home.  Have his number blocked or do something of that nature.  Put roadbloaks up so to speak. 

  I will be praying for you.  I do agree with longhorn's post, poison him, but unfortunately that is highly illegal and immoral.  So I tell you what I am going to do, I am going to pray that God gets a hold of him, and believe me God can really hit you where it hurts.

  Have a great holidays and keep us updated.

  Sincerely,


  Anne C. McGuire

[Michele]

Mongoose,
This is M, you already know my story.  I know how it feels to be abused and then have your family try to make you pretend like it wasn't that big of a deal or in other words "just get over it" so they can go on in their own lives as if it never happened.  It's unconscionable!

Whatever you do Please don't let your family, whom you have previous problems with anyway, Guilt you into doing ANything that makes you feel uncomfortable!  Most especially DO Not let this manipulator anywhere near you!  The people who take advantage, use and abuse children for their own sick gratification are counting on the fact that their manipulative "charm" factors keep working on the families and children they abused so they will be allowed to keep on keeping on with their sick deeds.  YOU have to take care of YOU.  I know how it feels when you've been abused as a young child, you tend to revert right back to that mindframe even if you are a grown person now and this makes it easier for people to browbeat you.  Our own families have tremendous psychological powers over us, even if they don't deserve to have such powers.  It may be necessary to part ways with them if they are causing us even more harm.

I know Jesus wants us to forgive, but unfortunately that doesn't mean you can forget it and that also doesn't mean that you have to let this snake in the grass anywhere near you ever again no matter what your "family" says!  THey are not you. They obviously don't have your best interests at heart or else they would never ask you to be in the presence of the person who harmed you!

I say pray, and then do what your heart of hearts says to do...and it won't be to sacrifice yourself just to appease your family.  You do what Mongoose needs, to protect that child inside of you that deserves your consideration first and foremost.



PM me if you want to talk.

Love to you,
M

[Robin]

Mongoose,

I'm sorry your family isn't standing behind you on this. You don't need to see this man again or have any relationship with him. You don't have to answer his calls or talk to him. If God wants something different he will surely let you know. I don't think God causing evil in our lives means we need to put ourselves in harms way.

I've seen God bring healing in circumstances like this, but there was remorse and repentance involved. It doesn't sound like this man is in that place right now. I think keeping yourself separate from him in that situation is ok. It must be very hard for you when your family is putting so much pressure on you. It's ok to say no.

I'll be praying for you.

Hugs,
MG

[brothertoall]

Mongoose you are very dear to me my friend. God does give us choices and you can make this choice. No one and I mean absolutely no one can make you do something you do not want to do!!

I would not go within 20 miles of that man! Family or no family and I would be straight forward with your family and I would tell them all. They will either accept it or they will try to deny it but you know in your heart what the truth is.

If you must go and be with your family and this man is present I would take him off alone and tell him just exactly what you feel.

If there are going to be other children around this man I would watch him like a hawk!! If and when he does try to go alone with one of the children take one of your so called loving family members with you and maybe just maybe you can catch this man in the act.

I personally can take anything God throws at me as an adult, but I do not believe God wants us to just sit back and do nothing when it comes to abusing a child. I would be this man's worst nightmare. I would not even let him go to the bathroom without me standing outside the door waiting for him to come out.

I would be there when he eats, when he gets out of bed,when he talks on the phone, when he talks to anyone.

I would let him know that if he even as much as touched one single hair on any children I would be right there.

  I know many of you here may think after reading this that it just does not sound like me BUT when it comes to hurting a child there are no rules with me!! A child is defenceless and frightened when these things happen to them and when an individual does these sick things to a defenceless child I will ultimately LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR THAT CHILD!!!

Be tough Mongoose and let this man know that as long as you are around that if he even thinks of doing anything to you or a child that is present that you will do everything in your God given power to make sure he will be stopped!!

Oh this makes me angry and I hope this falls under " Be angry and sin not".


I will be praying for you and I will also pray that this man is found out and hope that aslo falls under " Be sure your sin will find you out".

Love to you my dearest sister,

bobby

[hillsbororiver]

I've seen God bring healing in circumstances like this, but there was remorse and repentance involved. It doesn't sound like this man is in that place right now. I think keeping yourself separate from him in that situation is ok. It must be very hard for you when your family is putting so much pressure on you. It's ok to say no.

Hi Mongoose,

It is amazing how many of us here have been affected by sexual predators, this crime is certainly one of the most insidious evils that one human being can impose on another, it is an evil that can keep on giving, pain, sorrow, guilt and a loss of self worth throughout a person's life.

That this person hasn't asked for forgiveness and bitterly repented means that this contact he desires is only a search for self validization (his not yours) and MG is right on in saying that you do not owe him this opportunity.

It saddened me to read that your family is not supporting you on this, my advice would be to quietly and politely decline any contact with this person to any and all of them, be firm in your decision yet gentle with your words, for some reason they are blinded to this and the real pain you have suffered because of it.

Remember the story of Joseph and the evil he experienced because of the callousness of his family, yet he never uttered a condemnation of them and when they repented he forgave them.

Dear Sister you will be in my prayers.

His Love and Peace to you,

Joe     

[mongoose]

Thanks for your replies and your prayers.  I really could use them right now.  I really can't tell you all how much I appreciate the love and support here.  Believe me, Longhorn's thought used to cross my mind on a regular basis...but I'm sure THAT is not what God wants.  It's His to take care of....I know.    Repentence is definitely not looming on the horizon as far as I can tell...only lies and denial.

I wish I wasn't so afraid to just tell my family that they need to drop this but, although I am sure that they know (especially my sibling who actually saw it happening), I also dont' think they can handle it.  And despite the fact that I'm an adult and have been away for awhile, I'm still afraid of them.  I grew up thinking one day, any day, they were going to flip out and kill me and I guess that's just never quite gone away.  I hope God gives me the strength and words to tell them I'm not interested in seeing him any more in the right way.  I really don't want to go see any of them.  My family is here and a few friends scattered here and there, and of course, my dear sweet wonderful husband.  I thank God for you all every day.

Love in Christ,

mongoose

[skydreamers]

Hi Mongoose, my heart goes out to you.  I agree with everything everyone else has said.  The emotions on something like this run very high indeed.  We simply can't understand what is going on with a person who is capable of molesting a child.  I was abused by my father when I was very young but it was brief as thankfully my mom divorced and left him shortly after (though for other reasons as she  never knew).  Even though I have no contact with him and in my heart I felt like I had forgiven him many years ago, it wasn't until I came to Christ that I realized for me there was another step:

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
Romans 12:14 NASB

I had forgiven him but he certainly was not in my prayers as someone I wanted God to bless!  For some reason this was a major turn around for me as I struggled to honestly do this.  It was so hard, but slowly God gave me the ability and the first time I prayed for him I felt a sense of freedom and release of stuff I didn't even know was there.....I guess where I thought I had put it behind me I had really just been numb.  I don't know if this is a step you have taken, but if not, consider praying for this man and for the family members who are not on your side.  This truly is harder than the abuse itself, at least it was for me.  But there is so much more healing yet to come for you and this man.  A real eye opener for me as well was Ray's talk on how this kind of thing, where he basically said it is only by the grace of God that WE are not that molestor!!  Wow, that was scary to see that beast in me, but also incredibly humbling and able to bring me to an even deeper level of loving those who seem to hate and hurt us. 

Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.
Romans 12:15 NASB

I will be weeping with you in spirit, until you can rejoice again.  And then we can all rejoice together!

Peace and love to all, Diana

[Rene]

Diana (aka Skydreamers),

Beautifully stated and excellent advice.  Mongoose, I hope you will prayerfully consider it.

Rene'

[gmik]

Weeping endures for a night,  but JOY cometh in the morning....!!!  Your morning is on the way..

I will be praying for you during this trial of faith.  You know, your blood relatives aren't your only family!  As you know by all these posts and so many not posted you are loved and valued as a sister in the Lord.  We care about you.

You will know the path for you, God promises it.

Love,
gena

[DWIGHT]

Hi Mongoose,

I just read your post and everbody's reply.   My heart is full of love and compassion for you.  It's hard to know what to do or how to give advice in this type of situation, because really none of know what to do.  I wish we could all go with you and get in this guy's face.  That's my old man talking, but that's how I felt initially.  If you don't have to go then I would say don't, but if you have to go then cling to your husband and like Bobby said watch him like a hawk.  Be innocent like a dove and wise as a serpent.  Maybe e-mail Ray privatley and ask him for his advise. 

We will all pray for you and know dear sister that we are one with you in spirit!

In His mercy!

Dwight

[Deborah-Leigh]

Hello Mongoose

What a trial! I can totally relate how you must be feeling over this gut wrenching, heart probing violation is wringing out the sweat of disgust, helplessness and holy indignation you must be feeling. I am feeling it!

Listen my dear sister.....a Minister hey.....well just settle down a minute. A Minister in Mystery Babylon doing the will of Satan. So lets take this guy under the microscope for a minute and lets dissect him! I feel like I am about to perform an autopsy on this guy!....He really is dead meat.....

Firstly lets apply 2 Timothy 2 : 26 And that they may come to their senses and escape out of the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him henceforth to do His (God's) will.

As rj brings to light : God is sovereign in control of all, which i believe He is then all that has happened to me in this life was all in His plan. the guy who did this was also in Gods plan,..........

So what does this mean for you?

If we go back to 2 Timothy 2 : 25 He must correct his opponents with courtesy and gentleness, in the HOPE THAT GOD MAY GRANT THAT THEY WILL REPENT AND COME TO KNOW THE TRUTH, that they may perceive and recognize and become accurately acquainted with and acknowledge it.

This falls into line with what Anne said : Secondly,  please, please let him know how you feel.

You could tell him in person in private as a now fully grown adult who is no longer vulnerable to any shape or form of violation, exactly what his actions cost you. You can do this with courtesy and gentleness Mongoose. Eg....Hello Mr Minister....please may I have a word with you? (Take him aside) I do not believe you know (2 Timothy 2 : 26....he is not in his senses and is bound in the snare of the devil, held captive by him.....Be this your inner conviction NOT ACCUSATION which would then sound like his master satan......you do not want to accuse him you want to correct him with your testimony and the truth.

Jesus Christ the King of Kings to whom all knees will bow, will be protecting your back on this. You have a mission.

John 17 : 19, 20...You sent me on a mission, I've done the same to them; sent them on a mission....But not just them! All the thousands that'll opt back into your way 'cos of what my squad tells them. I've got on big ask – keep them together, united, one huge team living the way you and I relate. But doing it down here. Keep them plugged into us, so it'll be obvious that you sent me.(The word on the Street translation)

John 17 : 19, 20......And so for their sake and on their behalf I sanctify, dedicate, consecrate Myself, that they also may be sanctified, dedicated, consecrated, made holy in the Truth. 20. Neither for these alone do I pray, it is not for their sake only that I make this request, but also for all those who will ever come to believe in trust in, cling to, rely on Me thought their word and teaching.

It is fitting to your prelude in having to face this person who caused you so much anguish Mongoose, that the above words were cited by Our Lord in His request of the Father for His Disciples and His Church ahead of His betrayal and execution. I believe He can relate to what you are suffering right now. He knows better than anyone what you are enduring. He is not unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with you....Heb 4 : 15.


Rev 12 : 11  And they have overcome, conquered him by means of the blood of the Lamb and by the utterance of their testimony, for they did not love and cling to life even when faced with death, holding their lives cheap till they had to die for their witnessing.

Rj's comment to you fits here : i would have rather lived this miserable life and someday be in the family of God than to have never been borned

Mongoose the Minister is not satan. He is bound by satan in the plan of God. You have the opportunity in visiting the poor in jail of the soul, blinded by the prince of this world. In the full armour of the Lord you with the blood of your testimony can with Christ and God willing, set this captive free. You need not fear this miserable, bound, addicted to darkness, heretic of lies and abomination, leprous fool who neither realizes nor understands that he is Rev 3 : 17...wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. .....He is of the Synagogue of Satan and until God in His goodness chooses to release him, he is Rom 1 : 31 without understanding, conscienceless and faithless, heartless and loveless and merciless. 32 Though full aware of God's righteousness decree that those who do such things deserve to die, they not only do them themselves but approve and applaud others who practice them.

The blood of your testimony, the aguish, the heartache the hopelessness and the sorrow that his actions caused you and the presence of Our Lord with you might just be what you need to exercise in your faith that will show to Jesus that you see this poor miserable wretch as God sees his soul and that in your understanding you will be set free from him because hopefully this little message will encourage you to love and pray for your poor, pitiless and miserable enemy who is blind, starving and naked in Gods eyes.

May His peace garrison you and keep you in faith, fearless of this pitiful sight. Over come the horror of his soul condition that has ravaged your heart and mind,  and in so doing reach for the high and wonderful prize that awaits you.

Your armour is waiting for you in cubicle Ephesians 6 and we your brothers and sisters are all with you in heart and mind Spirit and in Truth.

Peace and love to you

Arcturus

[andrevan]

Hi Mongoose

I'm praying for you. May God provide you with the courage and strength to endure and overcome this testing situation.

I pray that the peace and calm of the living God be upon you.

God bless you.
Andrevan.

[YellowStone]

Mongoose, my dear friend and sister; I read your post, thought of you and the following Scripture immediately came to mind.

Psalm 23 - A Psalm of David.

• 1  The LORD [is] my shepherd; I shall not want.
  All of creation,  animals, mountains, lakes, rainbows, sounds, aromas, loved ones, etc. How could anyone want for more
• 2  He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
  All that he has given and all that he is provides tranquillity and a peaceful rest
• 3  He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
  He invigorates, clears troubled minds and smoothes troubled souls
• 4  Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou [art] with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
  Yes, the roads do get rough and dark clouds loom overhead, but he is near and there is no need to fear for he comforts weary souls
• 5  Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
  He has not forgotten you, he will make you strong and watch over you
• 6  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
  He has promised this and I see him in you

Mongoose, my prayers are with you. Please feel the love and support that is so freely given from God and all your friends here at Bible Truths. God and Love are with you always, for God is love.

Love,
Darren

[kennymac]

Hello Mongoose,

Your situation is one of the most difficult injustices for our natural human minds to understand. In fact everything about it makes us want to scream out to God and accuse Him of being unjust. It is a situation that is completely impossible for us to justify or make sense of, for me anyway.

Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

The only comfort we have is His word and He assures us that all things are done for our good. By faith, we must believe His word,  let the spirit lead you. Where there is bitterness, strife, unforgiveness, there is confusion and every evil work. Wisdom that is from above is first pure,  peaceable, gentle, full of mercy and good fruits.

We all know what Jesus would do, forgive.

Again this is not easy for me to say, because everything inside of me is feeling the complete opposite but I know Gods word is the truth, and I know by experience, that by applying spiritual principles, I have been set free from what appears to be impossible situations, and for me they were impossible situations, but for God all things are possible.

Vengeance is mine, thus sayeth the Lord.

Pray Mongoose to forgive this person, I know for you to be completely healed you must forgive. Dont expect to feel anything, making the choice to forgive has absolutley nothing to do with how you feel. Just make that decision, that you have chosen to forgive.
Don't allow the situation to replay in your mind, when old feelings sneak up on you, remind yourself that you have made the choice to forgive, God is in control, by faith you have handed this situation over to God.

It is in our best interest to nail the coffin and bury these things, that is where they belong. We put bandaids on wounds to help them heal, if we kept taking off the bandaid before the wound is healed, what would happen? It would keep bleeding.
When we choose not to forgive, we keep bleeding.

My prayers are with you, I know God will supply you with everything you need to make it through this.

God bless,

Kennymac

[mongoose]

Thank you all for your love and prayers and words of comfort.  I can't tell you how much they mean to me.  I am, fortunately, back home and God was merciful in that the situation never arose.  The weather issues on the plains this week kept everyone from getting there and have the little get together they had discussed.  I am so relieved and grateful.  Driving home wasn't fun but it was worth it to get back to my beautiful mountains and to my wonderful family here.

Thank you all so much for your love and prayers and I love each and every one of you so very much. 

mongoose

[rrammfcitktturjsp]

Mongoose,

  I am glad you are back at home.  Awww the beauty of living in the mountains.  That's the one thing that Lubbock Texas has none of.  Please enjoy those mountains and nature for me.

  Glad things worked out okay.

  Sincerely,


  Anne C. McGuire

[brothertoall]

Mongoose my dearest friend I have truly missed you. And as Dorthy would say, THERES NO PLACE LIKE HOME!!

I love you very much my friend,

bobby