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Word of the Day
longhorn:
Word of the day: "Zaibatsu"
True Story ;) Ever since I can remember, Longhorn ranch has been sort of a mystical piece of land, sure it's size of 120 acres pales in comparison to some of the modern day big time beef cattle farmers, but within this 120 acres are some of the most unique features known to man. The first being that the original rock or concrete road that ran from Texarkana to Dallas Tx runs straight through the middle of the farm, just 30 yards from the canalope and purple hull pea garden.
While most of the road is now overgrown with costal bermuda and various kinds of weeds, if one were so inclined, they, like many local folks and historians alike, could trace the famous "Fork in the road" which just so happens to be at the south end of the watermellon patch, and you would see for yourself where the "Fork" road slits, one going to Dallas, the other into the worlds largest wasteland,(good for nothing) real eastate commonly known today as "Lubbock Texas" ;)
2nd unique feature is original Rail road (RR for the lay persons) that stretches from Goergia to California, runs straight through Longhorn ranch dividing the sweet potatoes and ocra garden, from the turnup greens and onion garden, many a day have I waved at the conductor at the front of the train, hoed another 15 feet of weeds on the row of snap peas, wiped my brow, and waved to the enginer riding in the Kaboose.
3rd unique feature requires all on this forum to take an oath, those not willing please exit this post "NOW". Oath... I hereby promise not to report my breathren Longhorn to any or all authorities as it relates to what we shall call the "Syrup Mill - (slash) Moonshine Still. Now before everyone starts the "I knew that old Longhorn was nothing but a drunken fool" thread, allow me to explain. Even as a small child spending the summers here at the ranch, I always wondered why my Grandfather who my entire family called "Big Daddy" (real person) and his neighbors Robert and Lula Allmen(real people) were always so happy when they were so poor and had NOTHING.
Anyways, best I recall for some strange reason, there was always a fire burning and either one of the two mules Nail and Butcher going around in circles pulling some type of harnessed devise in the sugar cane patch whitch produced a strang odor, kinda like rubbing alcohol, but mabey a mite stronger. What was even stranger, at least now that Im alot older and wiser ;) was why did they "Hide" all that purified healthy "DRINKING WATER", (thats what they told me it was) from the neighbors who were struggling to get some old nasty water from a well, in a "Secret Cave" ? ...
Well stupid me, the "purified drinking water" was put in the secret cave for future use in case something should happen like for instance, a danged ol terroist attack, or something like what the Baptist call ARMEGEDON, I think thats means end of the world or something, but anyways, where was I?, Oh yea, 15 years ago right after my Grandfather (Big Daddy) died, the same year I became a free man (DIVORCED), I felt the smart thing to do was to move into the sacred confines of the now vacant Longhorn Ranch.
Im not saying ol Longhorn here has always been the black sheep of the family, but lets just say I dont get the old personal invite to family social functions. Anyways, to my utter supprise, shock, amazment, however the heck you want to say it, last summer my oldest sister Susie (real sister) showed up on the front porch with a "Good Will" basket complete with sweet potatoe pie, collard greens and onions, BBQ pork chops and homemade cornbread. Before she can knock on the door it's opened and the "Fake" tearfull reunion begins.
Twenty minutes (seemed like 20 hours) into the conversation, my sister "Susie" who for my entire life I called "SUE" ask me a very personal question, she says to me Longhorn, do you think there is a chance in HADES that you could show me the SECRET CAVE. After taking a somewhat diffrent oath than the one yall have taken, I agreed to show her the secret cave. Using only a small flashlight as to not disturb the GHOST OF SUGAR CANE PATCH, we sneek our way into the secret cave. As we enter the cave, SUE ask me Longhorn, why does it smell like rubbing alcohol (Sue is a Nurse, so she knws the smell) I say to her SUE, Im not a rocket scientist, nor do I portray one on T.V., but Im fairly certain that aint Rubbing Alcohol.
Before "SUE" can accuse me of trying to hide an old family secret, we hear a flutter of wings that stirs up a cloud of dust. With SUE grabbing my arm and at the same time yelling at me Longhorn, Why didn't you tell me there were crows using this secret cave for a roosting site, and I said.....That isint a crow you silly "WOWSER"..... It's " Za bat Sue" ..... and then it rained.
Love in Christ
Longhorn
rrammfcitktturjsp:
Longhorn,
You gotta send some of that rain up here to Lubbock. I am duly impressed. Now that was pretty funny.
Sincerely,
Anne C. McGuire
hebrewroots98:
Wowser, Longhorn! You are the Texan of the Year; excellent story!! We can't get anything over on you, can we? (I love the one about Lubbock being a wasteland; putting my old profession as a nurse as well as my name being put into your story. ;D :o) Are you sure that you don't have a position as a novel writer? Maybe you missed your profession ;)?
rrammfcitktturjsp:
To All,
It has taken awhile for another interesting word to come up. Here it is. Enjoy.
"avoirdupois \av-er-duh-POYZ\ noun
1 : the series of units of weight based on the pound of 16 ounces and the ounce of 16 drams
*2 : weight, heaviness; especially : personal weight
Example sentence:
Michael's ample avoirdupois can be blamed on his fondness for rich sauces and fattening cheeses.
Did you know?
When "avoirdupois" first appeared in English in the 15th century, it carried a meaning of "goods sold by weight," which is also the meaning of its Middle English predecessor, "avoir de pois." That term derives from an Anglo-French phrase meaning "goods of weight." Today, "avoirdupois" most commonly refers to the system of weight measurement used for general merchandise, in which the pound is equal to 16 ounces, the ounce 16 drams, and the dram 27.344 grains. (Some other weight systems are apothecaries' weight, used to measure pharmaceutical items, and troy weight, used for precious metals.) It was Shakespeare, in his play Henry IV (1597), who first used "avoirdupois" to mean "heaviness"[/color]
Have a great day.
Sincerely,
Anne C. McGuire
PKnowler:
Ok here it goes in a sentence.
I really should go on a diet and get rid of all my baby avoirdupois.
Got to blame it on the baby!
~Paula :D
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