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hebrewroots98:
Dear Friends and Family of HaShem!

I am struggling to deal with the following problem:  Twentysix years ago (when I was in the 'institutional church'),  when I began my spiritual walk as a babe in
Christ, I felt that it was MY RESPONSIBLITY to SAVE MY FAMILY MEMBERS (FROM GOING TO 'HELL'), thus, I was RELENTLESS in not letting up on them;  THEY were my MISSION FIELD in life since I loved them so much!  In that time and in that process, I offended, disrespected, and flat out ignored any kind requests to leave them alone with 'my preaching'.  It has come to the point that  'I' have now made myself as an OUTCAST in my own family (of which there are inlaws and extended family members -alot of family members whom all think of me as an fanatic whom will never stop talking about God and never stop preaching at them.   Some have written me off completely, others have ignored any of my attempts to communicate with them; others just tolerate me.   

It hasn't been until I had found BT by Ray (a year ago) that I finally stopped living as though I were their Holy Spirit by trying to convict and convince them of their erring spiritual truths.  I now have come to the point of where I live my life as to "live and let live" so to speak.  Having gone (way back then) through seminary and being an apprentice missionary made it difficult for me to not 'evangelize' and use that gift of evangelism that I had been given.  (In this case it turned into a curse for them instead of a blessing.)

The irony is that now that I have changed and God has convicted me of HIS truths for once, I have lost all respect from them to be able to teach them (via my daily example) of all of these news truths.  (To some of them this is just 'some new fad of info that I have learned' and that I want to  share with them.)  I have prayed for Gods' wisdom in how to get back into their lives, but I'm not sure at this point how to go about it.  I deal with some of them on a regular basis and they are getting the idea that this change is finally for real, but the others won't return any of my attempts to communicate w/ them and they are the one's that I am fearful that I have offended them beyond repair.

What is worse is that all of this Chaos and sacrificing has negatively affected my relationship with my dear husband and my beautiful 8 yr old child.  Our relationship have suffered due to my  not taking advice from my husband about just 'forgetting' my noncaring family members and my inability to know how to deal with them over all of these years.  I am not one to just 'forget' ones' whom have done me wrong.  My husband sees that all they care about is themselves and that they don't care for us as they think they do (and they especially have hurt our child emotionally.)

My question is this; should I attempt to appologize of the past indescretions or would they think that this is just another attempt to preach at them.  This is a fine line that I don't want to cross for fear of loosing them FOREVER.  I feel that GOD did not put me in this family just to loose them in the end. Is there anyway to get them back into my life? 

(A miricle happened in the same month this year with 4 males in my immediate family recently; they all broke the generational curse of  severe drug and alcohol addiction and they are free from that bondage finally.) Baruch HaShem (praise God)!
One last thing.    I have also spent the last 26 yrs working with my extremely drug addicted family members and have always sacrificed and been there for them when they needed me to help them to get out of that horrible lifestyle (while not codepending with them;) however, this last summer I really blew it.  I had 2 of my brothers living with us (both were DETOXING at my house- after 26 yrs on crack/meth/ice-you name it) and while being stressed to the max w/ them being here, I snapped (after seeing no change in 26 yrs) and let them both 'have it'.   I wasn't pretty and I am very ashamed of letting my flesh go like that and kicking them both out (again).  One of the two brothers refuses to talk to me now and he has no intention of changing his mind!  Do I attempt to apologize to him?  How do I reach him?  I tried to appologize but he won't receive my calls.

I'm sorry, I didn't expect this to be so long!  Thank you all for your patience!  I look forward to hearing some 'truth' from you all!
blessings,
 

Patrick:
Susan, you can attempt to apologise; they may or may not accept it. Don't let this become more of an idol of the heart. As hard as it may be, just let it go and continue to concentrate on Jesus, your husband, and your children. God will take care of the rest of your family in His time frame. I suggest re-reading Ray's "Twelve Truths", "Winning souls for Jesus", "The kiss of death", and "Praying by Gods rules." 
My moto is keep my mouth shut UNLESS they ask. And that is very hard for me. I kinda let my flesh get the best of me in the coffee shop the other day when someone stated December 25 was the Birthday of Jesus the Christ. I asked them to show me the Scripture that states that and I was told there is no Scripture proving that but that does not mean it's not His birthday. I then stated that there is Scripture proving that our Lord was not born in Dec, but they did not want to hear that and the conversation was about to turn ugly, so I zipped it up.
I hope this helps; I'm sure others will have Scripture to give you.   

rrammfcitktturjsp:
Susan,

  Thanks for notifying me by phone that this post was up.  I finally got my son's jumparoo and peek a dome put together.  He is asleep and does not know they are in the living room.  I can hardly wait until he gets up.


  I may modify my post a lot so check it out in the few days.

  It is a fine line that you are being asked to walk here.  Yes by all means apologize to them.  The Scripture that says if you remember you have something to resolve with your brother, go, leave your ofering, and make things right with your brother, and then come back and worship me.  To those of you who know Scripture better than I do, I apologize for my slaghtering of it.  [NOTE:  I have a good memory of the gist of Scriptures but have no idea how to recite them verbatim as well as tell you where they are.  I would appreciate if someone could post where this Scripture is coming from].  The thing that I think is bugging you the most is the fact that you have not apologized for your actions.  Please, please by all means apologize for the things that you KNOW you have done.  If in your heart you know you did it apologize for it  Ask their forgiveness.

  I have recently have problems with my family and this is how I resolved it.  I called and asked for their forgiveness after a heartful and soulful apology.  Their were many tears and laughs exchanged, but I then ended the conversation with, Let NOT my words speak for me, but let my ACTIONS speak.  It has been a long ardous road that has taken much time, but it is so worth it.  Both circumstances they told me that they wanted me to apologize and ask for their forgiveness.  They were pleased that I wanted to base my apology off of my actions rather than words.  If you have patience and the stamina for this method, this will mean so much to them.  I find out with this method that people are all the more forgiving. 

  As for them thinking whether this is an oppourtunity for you to preach to them that is just a normal human tendency to use the past to cloud present and future times.  Yes your past record shows this, but your actions will surely show that you have changed from the person that you were in the past.  They will see this, though it may take weeks, monthes, or even years.

  God's intention for our family is that we will all eventually get together whether that be in this time or in eternity.  God's will is perfect, though our understanding of his will is imperfect.  Just pray for them and Let Go, and Let GOD.
 
  I thought it was quite funny that I was reciting several responses to your post to you on the phone before I had finished reading the post.  As several of those responses are personal, I will leave those out.  I will post and remodify this post as I am felt led to.  We will talk about this some more tonight.

  Much love and prayer for your family,


  Anne C. McGuire

 
 

DWIGHT:
Susan,

I too have many problems with relatives that think that I am stark raving mad, gone off the deep end, won't talk with me and generally think I'm hopeless.  They thought that Jesus was of the devil too.  When I first came to BT and realized that the Lord will only let those see whom He will let see, it gave me a real rest in my spirit.  Not that I did'nt try to witness when given the opportunity, but if they did'nt listen or did'nt receive the gospel, I did'nt worry about it anymore because only the Father can bring anyone to His Son.  Re-read "Winning souls for Jesus." This is a great help to all of us.  Nevertheless, I understand how you feel and will pray that God will enable you to bear your burden for you.

Love in Christ,

Dwight

eggi:
Here it is:

Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. (Mat 5:23-24 KJV)

Susan, I think that you should try to explain them that at that point in your life you believed in that way, and now you see that it was wrong. Tell them that you love them, and that you are sorry for the situation you are in now. Apologize and start all over again, if they want to. If they don't, then be patient. I hope and pray that your family problems will be resolved.

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