More Really Dumb Quotes, Ads, Etc.

[hillsbororiver]

"Outside consultants sought for test of gas chamber."
- Ad in Arizona Republic

"Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound."
- Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange Street Food Farm

"I didn't know Onward Christian Soldiers was a Christian song."
- Aggie Pate, at a non-denominational mayor's breakfast, Fort Worth, Texas

"I didn't realize I was in a Buddhist temple."
- Al Gore, former U.S. Vice President when asked about his illegal fundraising activities that took place in a Buddhist temple.

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."
- Alicia Silverstone, Actress

"How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby."
- Anonymous Manufacturer

"Traffic is very heavy at the moment, so if you are thinking of leaving now, you'd better set off a few minutes earlier."
- Anonymous Traffic Report

"This is no longer a slum neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time."
- Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL

"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails."
- AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian

"We are unable to announce the weather. We depend on weather reports from the airport, which is closed, due to weather. Whether we will be able to give you a weather report tomorrow will depend on the weather."
- Arab News report

"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver."
- Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
- Charles De Gaulle, former French President

"Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself."
- Chicago Rotary Club journal, "Gyrator"

"As Deng's health is now failing, many matters have been passed to Wan Li, who despite his age is still alive."
- company report, China Inc.

"Lack of brains hinders research."
- Columbus Dispatch, Headline

[rrammfcitktturjsp]

Joe,

  I like that one about the walker and the removing the baby before storage.  I can understand why manufacturers would be pressed to include that on the instructions with the walker.  It is so hard to remember that you have to remove the child from the walker when the walker walks on its own and is propelled magically.  My Gosh, has someone tried to to store a walker with a child STILL in it?  I feel so sorry for the child if this happened.

  I am just wondering.  Took a lawsuit to finally get them to say "Caution Hot" on all McDonald's hot drinks.  So I wonder if this is a result of a ridiculous law suit.  I am going to research on this in my private time.

  Thanks for posting.

  Sincerely,


  Anne C. McGuire

[hillsbororiver]

Anne,

It is a safe bet that a lawsuit prompted this incredible warning label, thanks for bringing it up. Your response inspired me to start a new thread listing some of the warning labels manufacturer's lawyers have felt compelled to provide.

I can remember a time when it was assumed most people had at least an iota of common sense but it is quite apparent those days are behind us.

But at the same time these labels have the unintended consequence of being pretty funny. 

Joe

[SandyFla]

  Thanks, Joe!

[hillsbororiver]

Hi Sandy,

You are more than welcome.

Joe

[iris]

Thanks Joe for the laugh         

Iris

[hillsbororiver]

Hi Iris,

I am glad you got a laugh or two! 

Joe

[gmik]

 

Aren't these called "malapropisms"?  Alan King used to do it in his act.  (Only a certain group of people will remember Alan King-I won't mention why)

gena

[rrammfcitktturjsp]

Gena,

  I don't remember Alan King.  I am 27 years old.  Is that why I don't remember who Alan King is?   

  Sincerely,



  Anne C. McGuire