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Author Topic: Creation  (Read 5064 times)

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Craig

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Creation
« on: January 08, 2007, 12:08:01 PM »

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the
Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red
vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and
Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"

And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some
sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that
Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and
sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size
14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented
Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side.
And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in
which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more
weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake,"
and said, "It is good."  Satan then created chocolate cake and named it
"Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those
extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would
not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried
before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with
nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy
center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still
satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double
cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes!
And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into
cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.


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hillsbororiver

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Re: Creation
« Reply #1 on: January 08, 2007, 12:14:29 PM »

LOL  :D

Craig, that was great!

Joe
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SandyFla

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Re: Creation
« Reply #2 on: January 08, 2007, 04:52:26 PM »

 :D :D :D Very funny!!!
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gmik

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Re: Creation
« Reply #3 on: January 08, 2007, 08:57:26 PM »

 ;D ;D ;D
excellent!!
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iris

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Re: Creation
« Reply #4 on: January 08, 2007, 09:22:59 PM »

Funny, funny, funny!!!!!!

 ;D  ;D  ;D


Iris
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rrammfcitktturjsp

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Re: Creation
« Reply #5 on: January 08, 2007, 10:39:40 PM »

Parsonssc,

  Now I was laughing throughout that entire post.  I really needed that laugh.  Thanks.

  Sincerely,



  Anne C. McGuire
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sansmile

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Re: Creation
« Reply #6 on: January 09, 2007, 08:56:19 AM »

Hiya all,


It might be because i am British, but can someone tell me what HMO's are???

Sandie
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Walk in the Spirit

rrammfcitktturjsp

  • Guest
Re: Creation
« Reply #7 on: January 09, 2007, 09:34:55 AM »

Sandie,

  Here is what an HMO.  HMO's are both insurers and health care providers. They accept responsibility for a specific set of health care benefits offered to customers and provide those benefits through a network of physicians and hospitals.  Hope this helps.  This is a broad overall definition of it.  What this is in the medical world is a pain in the neck becuase of all the paperwork that is involved.

  Sincerely,



  Anne C. McGuire
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hebrewroots98

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Re: Creation
« Reply #8 on: January 09, 2007, 01:06:21 PM »

Thanks for the reminder for those of us whom made 'better health' as one of our new years' resolutionS!   I will make a copy of this and put it on my fridge; I need all the help that I can get!  I have literally assisted in heart bypass surgury; it isn't humane nor pretty.  It is very painful to receive from and the six+ inch scar is not very becoming to look at.  (...AS SHE PULLS THE TREADMILL OUT OF THE BOX...) (THE FUNNY THING IS, IS THA I TRULY WILL BE TAKING OUT A BRAND NEW NICE TREADMILL FROM THE BOX TODAY!!!!  THANKS FOR THE ENCOURAGEMENT ;D
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sansmile

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Re: Creation
« Reply #9 on: January 09, 2007, 01:20:23 PM »



Anne,

Thank you, we have the National Health Service over here, which is free, but lately getting very dangerous in the hospitals, due to superbugs like MRSA, (and i don't know what that stands for.....just know its a flesh eating bug.  (i wonder if that bug could have a spiritual cousin which could eat the carnal out of me hehehe?) ;D

God Bless
Sandie
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Walk in the Spirit

rrammfcitktturjsp

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Re: Creation
« Reply #10 on: January 09, 2007, 04:12:34 PM »

Sandie,

  MSRA stands for this.

  "MRSA stands for methicillin resistant Staphylococcus aureus. It is a bacterium that has developed a resistance to most antibiotics commonly used for staphylococcus infections. These drugs include methicillin, oxacillin, nafcillin, cephalosporins, imipenem, and other beta-lactams."

  I hope this helps.

  Sincerely,


  Anne C. McGuire

Susun,

  Accountability, accountability, and accountability.  Let me know when you pull the treadmill out.  I need to pull out running or walking shoes out.  But I am not sure if that golden time has arrived.

  Well only time will see.  Hopefully when we go to your house next time we will see the treadmill.

  Sincerely,



  Anne C. McGuire 
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