How Would You Have Answered Her?

[waltersfield]

The following is from the CoG forum Ambassador Watch. I thought the poster made some good observations:

Dennis said...

    In my experience, ministers react badly to questions when the questions cannot be dismissed out of hand. Most questions like that are never asked to begin with. When a student myself, WCG had a large tome that answered "difficult scriptures." It was really a book that prooftexted it's way along to uphold already understood beliefs by the church. In hindsite, the book showed a terrible lack of even knowing what questions to ask. Dave Pack loved this tome and I believe adopted it in RCG.

    Churches don't exist for growth...they exist to perpetuate sameness. I would love to return to former classes knowing what I know now. Of course they would be former classes never completed by me thrown out.

    Every minister and member adopts a story about what they Bible says. That's what denominations are and why they exist as there is no one way to see it all clearly. When you begin to see it more clearly and question the mythological vs. historical or literally true vs. Midrashically true, well moving on is not far in your future. WCC and COG ministers, along with most, are not well able to sincerely say, "Now that's a good question."

    For example, I had a client who lost an only daughter to a car wreck recently ask me, "why is it such a big deal that God gave 'his only begotten' son as a sacrfice for us, when he knew he'd get him back in three short days, fully God again? My daughter is still dead." Now that's a good question. She asked, "should a real sacrifice not stay dead to be a real sacrifice?" You see her question was born of real pain and real life and it made her think about the stories she had been told about how hard it was for God to give Jesus. Maybe not as hard for God as it was to her after losing her only begotten. It is a good question and that's all I said to her as we talked about how to cope. If you ask that kind of question in a COG setting, well somehow you are going to marginalize yourself a bit with others because it shows you think and are willing ask hard questions. It also challenges core beliefs. It probably will catch up with you eventually in any setting that demands sameness.

    Never close your mind to a better answer and never think you have the final one. We're all here to learn and while most churches claim we are to "grow in grace and KNOWLEDGE," they seldom like it when one actually does.. The translation of that is .."Grow in the Grace we permit and the knowledge we have for you to memorize." Life is not a game and truth should actually be encouraging to those who seek encouragement.


So, how would you have answered this woman?

[gmik]

OMG.  That is very hard.  My good friend lost her only 2 children in a car wreck.  They just praised the Lord about it and the funeral service was a victory service.  So each person reacts differently based on the heart at the time.

But to say that Jesus wasn't really much of a sacrifice when God knew he would get him back again is almost sacriligious.  Out of her pain I know, but she needs to be convinced that she will see her child again too.

Think of all the immigrants to our country who left family and never saw them again.  Kind of the same thing.

Lessons in life.

gena

[jennie]

A dear friend of mine lost two children several years back. They were in their later teens. Her daughter was about to get married, had been to her new apartment to decorate and make it a home for her and her little husband. A lady that had been driving for 13 hours straight fell asleep and hit my friend's daughter's car. She was killed instantly. Her younger brother fell to pieces and 4 months later put a gun in his mouth. My friend had 3 children and now has only one. She will never be the person she was before the tragedies. For many years she cursed God and was angry. I would probably been the same or worse. She has just in the last few years turned to God to heal her heart. She isn't that angry person so much anymore but it still gets to her. She fights the "why" battle everyday. On the bad days we just love her and listen. If you have ever had a deep cut you know the skin will grow back together but there is a scar. Sometimes there will even be numbness around the scar. I have several like that. She has one that is way worse. I don't think much would compare to losing a child or children. Sometimes the pain is too big and all that will help is love. Much love to all, Jennie

[Pax Vobiscum]

I am sad to say that I have much experience telling many, many people that their loved ones are dead and also counseling people that they will soon die. 

My experience and my faith confirm that the best thing is to hug them, love them, and support them -- show them that belief is not necessarily having all the answers.  God may not adequately answer all the questions, but He can still provide some measure of comfort.  At the right moment, "I don't know.  It seems so unfair.  I am sorry." goes a long, long way.

Someone who once wrote about the Holocaust said this:  "If this God is omnipotent, he could have prevented the Holocaust.  If He was unable to stop it, He is impotent and useless; if He could have stopped it and chose not to, He is a monster."

The answer lies in love, not words.

Peace

[DWIGHT]

Pax,

Your right brother, all the words in the world cannot heal the pain of losing your own child.  Love them, hold them and just be there for them, is all you can do.

In Him,

Dwight

[vic]

When my mother died, whom we dearly loved we did not loose her.

My wife and I had nursed her for about 6 years with failing health.

We did not loose my mother, she sleeps as Lazarus did before Christ resurrected him.

She sleeps with full belief , faith and hope of the resurrection.

She and I both know that the Lord  will have a desire for the work of his hands and she will awake from this temporary sleep when he calls her and all the faithfull from the grave.

She will arise with a Spiritual body, a glorious Spiritual body, as 1 Cor 15:30 -58 shows. Die a physical death, raised with an eternal Spiritual body and life everlasting.

Nell and I prepared mum"s body for burial, I made the coffin and arranged  to have  the grave dug and we had a graveside srevice.

Then we came home and had a special meal and remembered mum's life and  spoke of the joy she had brought in her life to us all. We were sad. yes, but we too had hope for our future in the Kingdom of God.

Now do I miss my mum? "you bet". Do I mourn for her? No. I know because of my belief and faith is she will rise again. We will meet again with all the saints and Christ our elder brother.

Do you remember the example of Christ. Lazarus The disciple  that Christ loved along with Mary and Martha his sisters who must have been his closest friends. Was dead.

Yet Christ seems to have had to wait till the fourth day to show the strength of his wonderfull hope for all who die young  tragically or at a ripe old age like my Mum.

Christ called and Lazarus came forth after the fourth day. Mary had said he "stinks" his body would be putrefying in that hot climate.

Yet Lazarus came out of that grave. The physical example and type of what will happen at the resurrection.

So when a loved one dies, do we really loose then, or in some cases are they even protected from the evil that is coming to his world.

I would gently encourage the woman to have hope, our loved onrs are not lost - they are sleeping, perfectly protected tlll Christ returns.

We will grow old, but their next waking moment will be from the age they were when they died.

Vic.