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Jackie Lee:
I really am not sure how to word this but I have been to all of these churches at least once, Baptist Pentecostal Catholic four Square Kingdom Hall And methodist there may be others.
I have been trying to figure out for years why I stay in Churches for a while then go to another one.
I thought I was very disobedient since I can't bring myself to go back to church.
 I really at times felt like I had left God however there was still my searching and trying to understand scriptures.
I was reading Ray's 666 perspective tonight, I believe now I may be exactly where God wants me to be, I keep asking God why I have never understood things are becoming a bit clearer now even though I admit I am still blinded too much.
 Last night my conversation to God was I am so wretched, I feel a little better knowing my knowledge and wisdom and lack of it is measured out by God himself.
 I even asked God why am I so stupid believe this I still am but he seems to give me just a bit more food for thought daily.
Would someone or anyone please help me to understand if I am where I am suppossed to be in the plan of God.
The beast in ray's 666 makes more sense too me now because I also told God in my prayers last night I was a disgusting person.
This feeling of wretchedness started a little less than 3 weeks.
I am wondering if I am on the right path or am I losing my mind?
Sorry so long but needed to express and see if I should try and swallow the bitter pill and return to church again.
I don't know if I can really.
Help!!! :'(

josh:
Jackie Lee,

I can definitely relate to where you are at in your walk...

The last year has been difficult for me also, many time feeling like I also had lost my mind ( I know my family has thought so at some point )... sometimes I wonder if this constant questioning and wondering will ever cease... but as I look back the things that at one time seemed like mountains have now almost vanished in the distance.

Rest assure, YOU are EXACTLY WHERE GOD DESIRES YOU TO BE!

Eph 1:11  "In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will..."

Phi 2:13  "For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure..."

Understanding that we have missed the mark (Jesus) by so far (or in your words "this feeling of wretchedness") is part of the chastening of our Father for the purpose of teaching us righteousness, TO BE LIKE HIM!

Concerning your questions about the church, let me suggest the LOF series on the main page of bible-truths.com, especially The Lake of Fire - Part VIII "WHERE IS THE CHURCH THAT JESUS BUILT?" I believe this will be beneficial to your understanding in these matters, if God wills.

Also, try not to be in a rush to understand all the mysteries of God for your life or for the entire creation. God will feed you slowly so you don't get a tummy ache =)

I know it's not much, but I hope this helps. I'm sure some of the other members will have some valuable imput.

Grace and Peace.
Josh

Robin:
When God started leading me away from the church the first thing he taught me was to rest in him. Right after that he showed me my own wretchedness. It was very hard to rest after seeing that. The temptation was to frantically try to fix myself. It took a lot of faith to sit in my own wretchedness and wait on God. He gave me a little faith at a time to keep walking forward. I struggled hard at first. At that time my brother and I were the only two people that I knew of that believed the way we did. I wondered how we could be right when the huge church believed differently. I felt like I was losing my mind. As time went by it became clearer and I didn't feel like I was crazy. God started to heal me and I experienced many miracles in my life.

We can rest in him. He is faithful.

1 Thessalonians 5

23And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
24Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.

Hebrews 10

22Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water.
23Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;)

Isaiah 25

8He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from off all faces; and the rebuke of his people shall he take away from off all the earth: for the LORD hath spoken it.
9And it shall be said in that day, Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, and he will save us: this is the LORD; we have waited for him, we will be glad and rejoice in his salvation.

Kat:
Hi Jackie,

Of course you are right where God wants you  :)


--- Quote ---Last night my conversation to God was I am so wretched,
--- End quote ---

This is the point all  of God's chosen must come to.  When we realize that we have adsolutely nothing to offer and all that we have tried to do is like 'filthy rags,' then He has brought us to the place where He can make us new.

Isa 64:6  But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.

Jer 18:4  And the vessel that He made in clay was ruined in the hand of the Potter; so He made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the Potter to make it.

So you have come to the place where God is opening your eyes.
As Josh said, start reading through the Ray's articles, things will begin to fall into place in your mind, as you begin to see the Truth for the first time.

The forum is here for you if you need fellowship or have questions, but it takes time for these Truths to sink in.  But be ready to have one profound revelation after the other  :)

mercy, peace, and love
Kat

ciy:
I agree Kat.  That is an exceedingly powerful truth that helps me daily.  God is in control
CI"Y

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