Into the World (again)
That was pretty much my experience with the Adventist church, I did not blame them for me leaving I thought I was a square peg in a round hole, in many respects I had felt that way for most of my life. It was time to move on, there was no bitterness and really (other than the pain I had caused others) no regrets.
I started getting serious at work putting in all the overtime I could get and constantly trying to learn more about the Company and especially the division I had been fortunate enough to become part of. We were building a new Telephone Switching System that was touted as "revolutionary" it was a box about half the size of a refrigerator that could handle (hang on to your chair) 120 phone lines simultaneously! It sounds rather quaint now but in '73 it was huge. I was the 3rd employee hired (actually it was posted internally for interviews) in a Department that would eventually have well over 200 people, this made rising through the ranks rather easy as I saw every stage of development from the ground up, first slowly then accelerated as we grew.
Stromberg Carlson at the time was the world's largest manufacturer of independent (outside the Bell system) telephones and telephone equipment.
Even though I was a valued employee I was still very much into recreational drugs and boozing, sometimes life would be a blur and other times I would clean it up and devote myself back to weightlifting and martial arts, things I had dallied with since about age 13. Stromberg's was a subsidiary of General Dynamics and employed about 5500 people in Rochester and about 40,000 or so nationwide, there was a plant in Orlando and I wanted a ticket there in the worst way.
I would feel a spiritual tug at times, especially when I got in some kind of mess, I always seemed to get lucky when it came to running outside the law, there are too many examples to list and I really don't want to have it appear I am glamorizing some of the things that happened, let me just say He was watching out for me and even at that stage of my life I recognized it. I had read the Late, Great Planet Earth and some other Hal Lindsay stuff as well as other "Christian" authors. I was starting to think perhaps all religions held a part of the truth and it was up to us to search and figure it out. But the Adventist Sabbath doctrine was one thing that kept it's grip on me for a long time, not that I would obey it, just as a benchmark for who had truth and who did not.
I got my wish in '77 when Stromberg Carlson decided to move it's electronic manufacturing division to Orlando, I was one of a few hundred who were given the opportunity to go south, thousands lost their jobs in Rochester as they were scaling back all operations there. I was more than ready to go.
Florida
Things were going great for the first couple years in Orlando but my famous temper kicked in one day when a promotion I was counting on went to someone else, it was a shocker to everyone who knew what was going on in the Division but as I learned later not an unusual occurrence in the politics of the workplace. I up and quit, right then. See ya!
That began a trend of me being in and out of honest and legitimate work, I could justify anything by the unfairness inherent in the "machine" that is business in an imperfect, unjust and corrupt world. I would "hustle" in different illegal activities, tire of it, get back in the legitimate working world, rise up usually fairly quick then get angry with a decision or just get bored and leave. I repeated this cycle as well as my booze/drug to workout gym rat routine for years.
After a failed first marriage (it really had no chance) I eventually met my second wife who inspired me to more consistency and a little more temperance. She came from a Baptist background but thankfully was not a fanatic about it, eventually she started going to church as our daughter was growing up, I would go every now and then but never liked it, except for those brief few minutes when they actually would quote a little scripture. The Sundays I attended were very few and far between.
My Dad
In '87 my father was diagnosed with cancer, it was in an advanced stage but through radiation and some chemo they were able to arrest it, at least for a while. During this period I dusted off my bible and started reading again as it was 16 years earlier I understood little but it gave me a sense of peace, I started buying more "Christian" books, Dave Hunt and others involved with the Berean Call.
Two years later my Dad had a relapse and the prognosis was grim, he just could not hold down food and got weaker by the minute, he lived out his last month on earth in a hospital bed, I watched him deteriorate by the day. My heart was breaking by the hour as I knew he was not a religious man, never spoke about God or his feelings about what he believed the afterlife held in store. I was still in the Adventist mindset, no hell but no reward or redemption for my Dad, he had overcome a lot in life, was a good provider but I thought this is it for him.
This was a difficult time of course, but we all returned to our day to day routines and the sting would eventually dull, I was busy in an exciting relatively new job, traveling frequently. This gave me an opportunity when I was on the road to read my bible (still a dunce) and my growing library of religious authors as well as my history and biography books. Still lifting and working out I was using intoxicants less without even trying.
Tony and Chris Revisited
A few years later in yet another job, I was the Southeastern Sales and Service Manager for a manufacturing Company I found myself in Miami, I had looked in the phonebook before for my old friends Tony and Chris but never saw either of them listed, this time I looked and wow! There is Tony's name! I knew it was very possible in a city the size of Miami that it could be someone else with the same name but I dialed it immediately, I got the answering machine and there was no mistaking that voice this was Tony, or perhaps his son but it was a very familiar voice. I left my name and cell number and went on about my day.
By the time I ordered room service I did not receive a return call so after my meal I called back, this time that familiar voice answered, excitedly I rambled on "hey Tony this is Joe from Rochester, I am in Miami and would like to get together maybe tonight if possible!" Ahem, uh I think you want to speak to my Dad was the reply, I thought OK, it is Tony's son, but I found him!
The voice that greeted me was gruff and impatient, yeah hello who are you and who are you looking for? I thought this is the old man, what is going on? I told him uh Mr. V you probably don't remember me but this is Joe from Rochester I was good friends with Tony and Chris. Oh, I remember you all right, you're the guy who helped Chris get out of that p*** hole reform school or whatever it was, I always respected you for that. It made me smile a bit, once a Mafioso always a Mafioso.
Well, Mr. V I am trying to get in touch with Tony and Chris, can you get me a phone number? Sorry, you are about 15 years too late, meet me for lunch tomorrow and we will talk. Hmmm, this guy still could send a chill up my spine even though by now he was in his seventies. Sure Mr. V give me an address we will get together.
The next day at 11 sharp I pulled up to his business, he had a wholesale produce business that guys like him preferred mostly only cash exchanging hands and who knows what else is happening behind the scenes. Mr. V came out looking his age but still with a strong handshake and persona. He looked me up and down and said you take good care of yourself.
I am anxious as hell now, what is up with the brothers? He looked at me without blinking, the dumb ****s are dead, loved the dope, got caught up in the cocaine **** flying it into Florida from South America in their planes. I had those *******s all set up, there was the casino in Santa Domingo I used to run before I got all that Federal crap up in New York taken care of, I handed it over to them when I wanted to come back to the States. They got their pilot's licenses and got the bright idea to start their own business with that coke ****. It was probably Chris's idea Tony would go along with anything. Did they get robbed and shot or something I asked him? No, worse he said, Chris died shooting the crap in his arm, they were junkies. I swallowed hard as he continued, Tony was a lost puppy with Chris gone, he died of an overdose a couple months later, I think on purpose.
Head spinning, why the hell did he have to have his number listed I could have done without this information. Gathering myself I asked him then who was the Tony who answered the phone? Oh that's my son, he was born 6 or 7 months after the other one ****ed up. This guy has his head on right, not a follower and aces his schoolwork, he is going to be OK. Silently I thought the exact same thing might have been said about Chris 25 years ago. He went on to tell me Cindy and Bob (no longer the Irish schmuck I guess) were doing great, a daughter in college and a son in high school, football player, good kid.
He went on to tell me he was looking for someone to start taking over the business, I am getting too old for this **** I would love to get a guy from the old neighborhood, somebody I can trust. I told him my family is too entrenched in Tampa to consider it, my Mom was getting up there and we just had too much happening as my wife had her own business too. He smiled and said it would be worth your while. For some reason money was not a burning issue at the moment, I was stunned and a little sick to my stomach as his young Dominican wife served us sandwiches and iced tea, I managed to get it down and looked forward to being on the road again. A few years back I would have jumped at his offer.
My Mom
It wasn't long before my Mother was diagnosed with cancer, she went down rapidly, found it on her liver in November and she was in the hospital to stay in February, today (27th) is actually the 6th anniversary. Like my Dad she lasted a month virtually without eating, losing her grip by the day, I took a leave of absence from work so I could be there every day, my boss (the owner) owed me big time and appreciated me enough to pay me in full not having to take vacation time or any personal days. I was prepared to walk if he gave me any problems about it, he knew it without me having to tell him but I truly appreciated his willingness to help and his generousity, not many would have done this.
My Mother passed away on March 28th, the day before my birthday, before she died I asked her if she accepted the Lord as her Saviour (like a magic chant) just in case it made any difference, I was still stung by my Dad's prospects in the afterlife.
This was a very tough time for all, despite her handicap my Mother was one of the most independent and positive people I had ever known, all my friends loved her and she was so upbeat after about 5 minutes most everyone forgot about her physical impairment. It was not easy to watch her fade away.
Again the sharp painful sting turns into a dull void but life goes on, the younger people keep you going forward, keeping one busy and occupied.
I was happy in life, decent job a new house on the horizon a good marriage but this void was staying with me, something was missing, what is it? There was this constant knot in my stomach sometimes intense other times just there, it was more mental than physical but real all the same.
That fateful night (Aug. 2, 2005)
One of the hats I wear at work is Warranty Manager, the hurricane season can be brutal, in 2004 we had a lot of action and it was expected to be similiar in 2005, in August of that year as another hurricane alert was being screamed by the talking heads on TV I was at my computer and decided to enter a couple words and see what happens. I entered "Revelation weather" looking for any writings someone might have on weather patterns in the "end times." I was not prepared for what came up.
L. Ray Smith - Exposing Those Who ContradictL. Ray Smith exposing those who contradict Purpose for bible-truths.com ... Ray Critiques 3 Damnable Sermons on “Hell” and Explains the Lazarus Parable ...
bible-truths.com/ - 66k - Cached - Similar pages
I thought what is this guy selling? I will check it out and have a laugh or two. August 2, 2005 is a day I will never forget, I spent the next 8 hours soaking it in, this stuff somehow was brand new and familiar at the same time, my life has not been the same.
Thank you Lord for using Ray to bring these wonderful truths to so many Brothers and Sisters.
His Peace and Wisdom to you all,
Joe
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Topic: What got me here, Part 7 (final chapter) (Read 12474 times)