Good morning Debby,
Thank you for your thoughtful and kind post, there certainly have been some ups and downs especially early on but the Lord is replacing the anger, bitterness & ignorance with patience, faith and understanding. There is no doubt I have a long way yet to go, there also is no doubt that the Lord led me to Bible Truths to jump start my spiritual understanding.
I actually read through the bible numerous times previous to "stumbling" here, took in many Adventist doctrines along with trying to make sense of all the "Christian" books from (but not limited to) Hal Lindsay, Pat Robertson, John Hagee, Dave Hunt, Elwood McQuaid, as well as Tim LaHaye & Jerry Jenkins. Nothing came remotely close to the EUREKA! moment I experienced that very first night on Ray's site and innumerable times since then.
The Lord has truly blessed us with the articles of scriptural truths Ray is providing, a lifetime of wisdom at our fingertips, treasure chests full of gold, pearls and the precious gems of understanding His Word were placed right before us with so much of the heavy mining already having been done.
Debby do not fret over your weaknesses (you are not alone) take up His yoke and feel the Peace that is His Spirit even as we are chastised, He is leading us to Him and a glorious destiny in the fulfillment of His promises, what you are feeling is the refining of your spirit with His Spirit.
His Peace to you Sister,
Joe