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I need a friend to talk to.

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Kat:

Hi Paula,

You have a tremendous responsiblity with 5 young children, to homeschool and take care of all the nessecary household duties.  And of course you also want to teach your children the truth.  Maybe you could bring them all together at a certain time each day, to read Bible stories, with your own added understanding as needed.  You can't expect to always see the benefits of this, but you can't always tell what those little minds are picking up.  After lunch may be good for this, as the younger one may decide to nap  :)
I feel it is vital that you find time for Bible study and pray.  If you have not yet read all of BT articles, I would suggest to use this as a source of Bible study.  There are so many important Bible principles you need, that it will give you a great base of understanding that will help you.  I have found that reading the articles have opened my eyes to spiritual understanding that I was not able to gain by my own studies.  And now I have gained enought understanding, that I can now apply it to my own studies, and I am amazed at what I can 'see'. 
I must say that I have to stay in the Word to feel this spiritual oneness with Christ.  When I involve myself with other things, I began to feel the closeness fade, but it returns when I return to the Word.
I pray your heart may be encouraged.

Col 2:2  that their hearts may be encouraged as they are knit together in love, to have all the riches of assured understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery, of Christ,
Col 2:3  in whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

mercy, peace, and love
Kat

GODSown1:
Hi Paula,
           Wow!! I hear & Feel for U sister, & ur probably goin yep & now wot? lol!, But! personally! I know that feeln wen GOD seems so far from U & yet U are doing everything righteously! well as much as Possible, I just know!! U are to Keep! ur Faith!, just talk with HIM always, every second, every minute, every week, every month, every year & with everybody U talk to about HIM & ur experiences HES given & wot HES did for U & ur family.I garuntee U, U will feel HIS AwesuM!! Presence around always again, & Keep PRAISING!! HIS name, Worshipping!! HIS lyrics constantly, Play CDs, read the Word! even when U dont feel like it (seems to be the Best time) lol!, muchLOVE!! to U Paula from the bottom of my Heart n JESUS! mighty!, Glorious!, Amazing! name Amen! & Amen!

PKnowler:
You all have blessed me so much with your care and concern! Thank you!  :)

Now that I have shared my burden with you all it seems so trivial as though I am whining and complaining. Isn’t that strange! I have had this burden for a long time and now that I share it with you all I no longer feel it. The answer seems so simple as though I can answer my own question as an observer. I am overjoyed that you all have helped me carry my burden for I’m no longer carrying it alone, therefore I no longer feel as I felt. Does that make sense? Who knew the answer would come from sharing my pain? 

I would like to give response to you all. :)

Jackie Lee I love your suggestion! Let them go to church so I can have some quite time. Yeah! But my husband doesn't like to go to church without me. It is very difficult for him to handle all the children himself. I don't think he would even go by himself without the kids- but that is his choice.  :)

Dwight I am very comforted by your brotherly love and fellowship. Thank you for being real and sharing your trials with us as well. You and your family are in my prayers. I too am very blessed by this fellowship and consider it my family.  :)

Lisa, thank you for thinking of me as a happy person. I am happy. I just know that I've lost something in my relationship with the Lord and want it back and I believe He is going to restore it.  :)

Susan it was nice talking to you last night. Maybe one day we can meet. (In this life! :D) I thought I should clarify that! Ha ha  :)

Anne, I tried to call you yesterday but you gave me the wrong number. Susan gave me the right number. I will give you both a call sometime. Thanks! I hope you get to feeling better. Susan said you had bronchitis. You are in my prayers!  :)

Arcturus, thank you for reminding me that he will not leave us or forsake us. I’m not sure what you meant by “It must be really rough on you to know you are not fed by Mystery Babylon.” Was that a sarcastic statement? “….and to think that the sheep are still fellowshipping there and they haven't a clue that they are in the wolves den.” God has not given me a burden for the sheep in Babylon. Does that sound selfish? I know that I can’t change anyone’s mind about what they believe. I would be happy to share with someone who was searching or open to hear spiritual truths though.  :)

Hey Sandie, you wrote: (1Co 15:19)  If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable. I felt this meant we are miserable  (in the carnal), because we only want things of Him. Yes, we long for him and die to ourselves in this life with the blessed hope of eternity with Christ and if we only have hope is in this life we would be most miserable. Thanks for sharing!  :)

Craig, I appreciate your suggestion: One thing that perhaps we could be doing is going out into the world and trying new things. Volunteering, with our families at hospitals, seniors centers, food pantry's, schools, etc.  We are now the salt of the earth and by going out into the world we can show something different in us. I would like to do that someday but I have little children now and my responsibility is to them first. I don’t know perhaps God will show me something I can do now to be a service to others. I am open to His leading.  I do think that helping others is not only God’s plan for His people but it takes us out of our self-centeredness. Great Suggestion!  :)

Joe, I appreciate the scriptures you shared. Thank you! May God show me how I can help those that are in need around me, those that are hungry, thirsty, homeless, naked, and sick or in prison. I don’t know if anyone has seen the movie “The Pursuit of Happiness” but I highly recommend it! It gave me compassion and desire to help those in need and homeless. Not all of them are there because they are alcoholics and drug users.

Joe, that was a very interesting scripture in Hebrews 13. I see this scripture is a nugget loaded with spiritual meaning. I looked it up in e-sword parallel to see it in different versions. Jesus suffered “outside the gate” and we are to go to Him “outside the camp”. 14 For here we have no fixed resting-place, but our search is for the one which is to come. I see Babylon, as a resting place and this is another admonition to come out. Thanks for sharing this Joe!  :)

Hey Rene, thanks for sharing the chapter of scripture from Deuteronomy 8 about wandering in the wilderness. 3  So He humbled you, allowed you to hunger, and fed you with manna which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man shall not live by bread alone; but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the LORD. What a wonderful scripture! There is a purpose to our hunger! 16 who fed you in the wilderness with manna, which your fathers did not know, that He might humble you and that He might test you, to do you good in the end— Praise God!  :)

hebrewroots98:
Praise God Paula!!! (the prayers of the righteous avails much.)   I am so glad to hear this good news from you today!  God is the changer of hearts and HE has done something special in you even since we spoke just last night!  (Baruch HaShem)    I know that you will be smiling more than ever now.   ;D ;D ;D ;D

It would be great to to talk to ya soon, (especially in person :D)

Blessings and Shalom,
Susan

PKnowler:
Arcturus, thanks for pointing out that it wasn’t for Queen Esther to decide when to approach the King but it was when He choose to see her and it was out of his mercy that she was not executed for approaching unannounced. It is all about God and His sovereignty. It reminds me that while we are to work out our salvation with fear and trembling  “13  it is God who is the cause of your desires and of your acts, for his good pleasure.” Phil 2:13 BBE version

Arcturus you’ve misunderstood me, I wasn’t talking about: the easy delights of waves of exaltation and ecstasy when being swept up in massive praise and worship experiences. Like being at a base ball match. The enthusiasm of mass emotion is transferable, palpable and easy to get caught up in! But then we grow up. We notice it does not last. Like the last fix...we need more. Jesus knows this.

I am talking about the Joy of the Lord, a fruit of the Spirit, it’s not dependent on circumstances and it is abiding, it doesn’t fade away!

Gal 5:22 - Show Context
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

Psalms 16:11
    You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Neh 8:10
    Nehemiah said, "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."

Acts 2:28
You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.

Matt 13:44
"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.

John 15:11
"These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full..

John 16:22 -
So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.

John 16:24
Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.

John 17:13
"I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them.

Rom 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

2 Cor 7:4
I have great confidence in you; I take great pride in you. I am greatly encouraged; in all our troubles my joy knows no bounds.

2 Cor 8:2
Out of the most severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity.

1 Th 2:20
Indeed, you are our glory and joy.

James 1:2
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,

1 Pet 1:8
Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,

Heb 12:2
    Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.


I realize now that while I have joy, my lack of abiding joy is a symptom of a problem much like how a fever tells you that your sick.

Rene helped me to see this with the scripture in Deut 8:3 Yes, he humbled you by letting you go hungry and then feeding you with manna, a food previously unknown to you and your ancestors. He did it to teach you that people need more than bread for their life; real life comes by feeding on every word of the LORD. He let me go hungry! Hunger is painful if it is not feed.

Mt 5:6
    Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Psalms 42:1
    As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.

God has cause me to be discontent so I would hunger for more of Him and He will feed me manna from heaven! Praise God!

I want to be what John Piper calls a Christian Hedonist- pursuing God for the pleasure that is in God and His presence. "He is the end of our search, not the means to some further end. Our exceeding joy is He, the Lord - not the streets of gold or the reunion with relatives or any blessing of heaven. Christian hedonism does not reduce God to a key that unlocks a treasure chest of gold and silver." Quote from Desiring God Rather, He is our treasure! He is the pearl of great value!

Psalm 73

  25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
       And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

 26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
       but God is the strength of my heart
       and my portion forever.

 The chief end of man is to glorify God, and to enjoy Him forever.

My joy is full and my cup runneth over as I write this.

Bless you!
~Paula

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