I need a friend to talk to.

[PKnowler]

I'm feeling down and would like to talk. I think of you all as my friends- in fact my only friends since I am no longer attending church. That's part of my problem. I saw my pastor's wife the other day and it just felt awkward. She gave a passing comment and I said "hi". I haven't said anything to anyone about why I am no longer attending. It makes me feel like people look at me like I'm a backslider. I just think it would be fruitless to say anything yet I feel like I should at least say something to my pastor but I don't know what to say and I feel like anything I say would be a waste of time or worse- I would be labeled a heretic and judged.

I would like to withdraw my membership- At least then we would give some kind of answer for us not attending much. My husband is an Orthodox Christian and he wants to go to church occasionally for the worship- Although we haven't gone for the last 2 months. I feel bad that he is not going to church because of me. I am concerned for my children as well. We do Bible studies, pray and talk about our faith and God with them but I wonder if it is enough. I feel like we need to have fellowship with other Christians yet I can no longer stomach Orthodox teaching it makes me angry. 

I also have a hard time with a daily Bible reading, it feels like such a chore. I have given up trying unless I am looking something up then I enjoy it. I want to get real with God and quit the religious rituals like they are going to make me Holy. I would so much love to have a daily intimate quite time with God where I read His word and learned from Him and grew in my relationship with Him- but it has not happened. I feel so distant from God and I long for that closeness I once felt. I once had an abiding joy that permeated my being and transcended my circumstances. I don't know why I can't get it back, I try! I do love God and want to please Him with my life but I feel like a failure because I can't read the Word and be spiritual.

My husband and I have the responsibility of raising our children for the Lord and I feel guilty because I feel so cold spiritually. At least with church attendance you have a semblance and an atmosphere of holiness that can be conducive to spiritual growth.......not that I want to go to church I just feel guilty for taking them away from church when I am not Spiritually well. Sometimes they ask to go to church even though they wouldn't be attending their classes; we have them sit with us during service, we started that a couple of years ago.

I guess that's all I have to say for now. Thanks for "listening" to my ramblings and for being my friends!

I look forward to God bringing me out of this slump. Whatever that means! 

Bless You All!
~ Paula

[Jackie Lee]

(((((Hugs)))))) I certainly understand.
Church is where most get their start, Would it be wrong if your husband and children went?
You could use that time to meditate and read scriptures.
Maybe your husband has not been completely called out yet...
I hope someone can help because I would imagine many may miss the fellowship of church.

[DWIGHT]

Dear sister Paula,

I wish we could all be together right now and hug each other like Jackie Lee just said.  I feel the same way.  This is a lonely road the Lord has chosen for us.  Josh and I were talking about this the other day through a PM.  We both felt, like his thread said, the whole world was on our shoulders, but when we found out that we are not alone, we were comforted.

Sometimes I feel so lonely without the fellowship of other saints, that I want to cry.  Like you said, we are all we have now.  This is where He wants us, and if we really want to know Him and Him alone, we must bear this cross.

The only word I have for you right now is that I'm one with you and I love you and all on this forum.  Let's all pray for one another that our love for each other may grow and become stronger than we are.

In His love and mercy,

Dwight

[Redbird]

Dear Paula,

I did notice you haven't been your happy self.  Thank you for sharing with us your feelings. It surely is lonely to belong to the Lord, but I can't help but think that is how it must be for now.  You all are truly my comfort too in these days.  Yes, let us pray for one another as Dwight says.

Love, Lisa

[hebrewroots98]

Hey sis!
Check your PM and get my phone number...we will talk tomorrow hopefully.

[Deborah-Leigh]

It must be really rough on you to know you are not fed by Mystery Babylon and to think that the sheep are still fellowshipping there and they haven't a clue that they are in the wolves den. Try to tell them they are and they think you are the wolf!

I saw the dark side of our Pastor before he kicked us out. I like to think that God used him to kick us out because I too enjoyed the community and sensuality of Mystery Babylon. The flesh enjoys being stimulated into a sense of belonging and unity. It is good to feel wanted and that you belong. Jesus did not ever have that luxury. He was not approved by anyone. He was followed. He was respected and He was adored but never approved. He had no Master above Him except God the Father. Likewise it is for us to experience what our Lord lived for the time He was on the earth. He said for the Son of man there is no place to rest His head. We too have this experience and can find no one in the flesh who can give us rest. We find His rest in His Spirit that we share and this is why we can savour the fruits of His Spirit here in this Forum where we have love joy peace kindness goodness gentleness patience and long suffering occasionally touch us and lift our world weary souls upwards to Him Who has conquered all.

He will not leave us or forsake us yet what we go through some times feels like those words are for someone else. We do felt left, rejected, forsaken and it is in these moments that we can truly realise that this is what HE suffered and what HE shares with us that we may know HIM when He comes again and we will then be enabled to share in His Glory.

I too know it is hard Paula. I suffer daily, continually and He gives me the grace and mercy to continue daily, continually....Just think...When He comes again, He will be able to say...Hey Paula...remember when you went through such pain and grief and loss...well look...you were sharing in my pain and grief and loss.

To those who live on easy street...He will say...depart from me...I know you not.

He is making us into His image and it is painful for us because we do not want to suffer. We will want to have suffered after He comes again but then it will be too late for sharing in His cross when correction and punishment come. For now, carry your cross as we are doing also. Each one of us has a heavy cross. No one here is on easy street I don't think! We are all on the way to our salvation in HIM.

I hope you get something comforting out of this Paula. You are not alone. In fact, they who are singing at the top of their lungs in Mystery Babylon, falling down in stupid desplay of carnality...they are alone together and we are alone with Christ.

peace to you

Arcturus

[sansmile]

Amen Arcturus,

We all go through these trials Paula, and it can be a lonely walk. I have a great spiritual peace though, and that is a gift from God.
I was reading these scriptures today,

(1Co 15:19)  If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable.

I felt this meant we are miserable  (in the carnal), because we only want things of Him. The carnal world...we do not really want to be part of..but we are in this world, if not of it, and it can be hard. These i believe are the trials we have been sent and as arcturus says..we do not feel part of this world anymore. We await His coming and pray that we will finish the race, to rule in glory with Him.
God Bless you and comfort you  ((((((hugs)))

Sandie

[Craig]

Paula,

Many of has have been or will be where you are.  So many times, for many, nearly our entire social life revolves around church.  When God leads us out we are lonely because we no longer have the social interaction we once had.  Face it, humans are social creatures.  One thing that perhaps we could be doing is going out into the world and trying new things.  Volunteering, with our families at hospitals, seniors centers, food pantry's, schools, etc.  We are now the salt of the earth and by going out into the world we can show something different in us.

Just a thought

Praying for you

Craig

[Redbird]

Craig makes a good point.  Sometimes, when I feel like hiding and just taking care of my family, I remember what Jesus says about how a light should not be hidden.  Thank you, Craig, for the gentle reminder.

Lisa

[rrammfcitktturjsp]

Paula,

  Check you PM and I have provided my number as well.  I am kinda in the same situation you are in and will elaborate further just not on the public boards.

  You will be in my prayers.

  Sincerely,




  Anne C. McGuire

[hillsbororiver]

Hi Paula,

There is no doubt many here empathize with your situation and this feeling of being in a dry spot or the desert with little to no Spiritual Water.

I know I do.

Craig gave wise counsel as to extending a hand to those less fortunate, whether it be a visit to a retirement home or volunteering time at an orphanage or hospital or some other act of selflessness.

Mat 25:34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:

Mat 25:35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:

Mat 25:36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

Mat 25:37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

Mat25:38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

Mat25:39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

Mat25:40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

Mat25:41 Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:

Mat25:42 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink:

Mat25:43 I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.

Mat25:44 Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee?

Mat25:45 Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.


I was reading Hebrews Chapter 13 and this jumped out at me and I thought of your present state (a place I have been before but not "church" related);

Heb 13:12  Wherefore Jesus also, that he might sanctify the people with his own blood, suffered without the gate.

Heb 13:13  Let us go forth therefore unto him without the camp, bearing his reproach.

Heb 13:14  For here have we no continuing city, but we seek one to come.

Heb 13:15  By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name.

Heb 13:16  But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.

His Peace and Comfort to you Dear Sister,

Joe

[PKnowler]

Thank you all for responding! I was very blessed to wake up this morning and check on to see so many responses!

I love your suggestion Craig.

  One thing that perhaps we could be doing is going out into the world and trying new things.  Volunteering, with our families at hospitals, seniors centers, food pantry's, schools, etc.  We are now the salt of the earth and by going out into the world we can show something different in us.
Craig

I think it would be difficult with 5 young children though. It is hard for me to do the necessary and go grocery shopping with all of them in tow.

This slump is not about my not attending church and or not having fellowship. This is about the distance that I have felt from God for the past 5 years. Even when I was going to church I felt distance from God. I had no real friends in church, only acquaintances. I'm not sure what the problem was other then our family is different because we home school and have a large family, not many in our church were like-minded. I've been isolating myself for a long time. I've only been active on this board for the past few months even though I've been a member for years.

My closeness to God is not contingent on going to church either. I know that because I came out of the SDA church to do home fellowship - a small group of us thought the SDA church was Babylon. I wasn't in church for about 7 years. I enjoyed the home fellowship until we moved to another state and then I was alone for about 5 years. My husband didn't care about Spiritual things. I studied the Bible and taught my children the word. It was very lonely but I felt the presence of God and the abiding joy never left me, it felt as though I was in the wilderness though.

After many years past I was home schooling my children and was considering using Rod and Staff Mennonite curriculum I heard of a Mennonite community that was about 1 ½ hours away so I made contact with them to ask them some questions. To make a long story short they started bringing a large group into my home to have fellowship once a month. What a blessing! I think their whole church came. They brought the folding chairs and their hymnals and lots and lots of food. The pastor preached and it was good! They did this for several months until my husband got sick.

There were many trips back and forth to the hospital. My husband had to be rushed to the hospital by ambulance several times. He was in a veteran's hospital 41/2 hours away, I was in Prescott and he was in Tucson, AZ, so I had to get friends to watch my children for a week at a time so I could go to be with my husband. This went on for months. I was so torn between my children and husband. I was getting weary. One morning I felt strongly lead to go to a friend's non-denominational church after 7 years of not going to church! That morning I felt the sweet Spirit of the Lord. It was so refreshing! I knew I needed to start going to church. That afternoon I got the call that my husband passed away.

The Mennonite pastor preached at my husband's funeral and the sermon was on:

(1Co 15:19)  If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable.

By the grace of God I stood up to give testimony to my husband's life and the goodness of God- and the abiding joy never left me. (My husband was an alcoholic and drug user, God did a miraculous work in his life. My husband was clean and sober for 3 ½ years before he died. He had accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord & Savior and was growing in the Lord. The dynamics of our family changed for the better during that time and it was good!)

I was widowed with 5 children for 4 years and the presence of the Lord was even stronger in my life. The Lord was my husband and I felt blessed, cared for, protected and loved. I did start attending a nondenominational church regularly and it helped to have the Christian fellowship and influence in raising my children to love the Lord. (Although none of them do now! And that grieves me beyond measure.) I went through many trials and tribulations raising my children alone but I still had the abiding joy.

So this is not about not attending Church or lack of fellowship or trials and tribulations. I know about the transcendent abiding joy that surpasses all understanding and is not contingent on the present circumstances, the fellowship of His presence and hearing the still small voice. I want that back! My commitment and desire to follow God are not based on these things but I am grieved because I haven't had that communication and intimacy for so long. I know it must be my fault and I can't seem to feel close to God no matter how much Bible I read or prayers I pray. The only thing that helps is praising Him with music- it transports me into His presence, but that is passing not abiding.

I believe that God will bring me through this. Thanks for "listening".

Bless you All!
~Paula

[Rene]

I want to get real with God and quit the religious rituals like they are going to make me Holy.

Hi Paula,

Thank you for sharing your feelings with us.  I especially appreciated the quote you made above.  It is so profound and true.  Even when you don't realize it, the Lord is using you to help others.  I benefited greatly just from reading that quote from you.

I too sometimes feel as though I am "wandering in the wilderness."  When I am feeling this way, I have found much comfort from the 8th chapter of the book of Deuteronomy.  There we are told how the Lord uses this "wilderness" experience to humble us, to test us, and ultimately to "do us good in the end."

I will keep you in my prayers.

Peace and His grace to you,

Rene'

[Deborah-Leigh]

Dear Paula

As Rene said, I too was edified to learn of your trials and to share in your thoughts you generously expressed.

What came up for me is that what you are experiencing is our Lords closeness to you. Many become attached to the "feelings" we get when we avoid or run away from our experiences of suffering. It is not natural to embrace our suffering and as Joe pointed out, we are social in our make up. It is difficult to be separated from our carnal nature and it is the Lord who separates us from our dependence and attachments to sensuality and it is He who brings us to Himself when He decides. This is not for us to decide. Like Queen Esther, she knew that to approach the King, could have caused her instant execution. It was only the favor of the King and the fact that he was in a good mood, that when she approached him, she was not executed right there and then.

There is a protocol to approaching the King. It is found in Hebrews 4 : 15 For we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our WEAKNESSES and INFIRMITIES and LIABILITY TO THE ASSAULTS OF TEMPTATION,  but  One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning.

It is wonderful to enjoy the easy delights of waves of exaltation and ecstasy when being swept up in massive praise and worship experiences. Like being at a base ball match. The enthusiasm of mass emotion is transferable, palpable and easy to get caught up in! But then we grow up. We notice it does not last. Like the last fix...we need more. Jesus knows this.

John 7 : 37...If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink.  38 He who believes in Me, who cleaves to and trusts in and relies on Me as the Scripture has said, From his innermost being shall flow continuously springs and rivers of living water.

Paula we approach the King via repentance as shown in Hebrews 4 and then after we commune with Jesus we are drawn near the throne of Gods Grace from where we receive mercy for our failures and find grace to help in good time for every need.   Hebrews 4 : 16

The "feelings" of His presence have to be replaced with the wisdom that He is present whether we "feel" it or not. There comes a time when we have to put away our feelings and replace them with our faith.

Jesus said John 20 : 29 Because you have seen Me, Thomas, do you now believe, trust, have faith? Blessed and happy and to be envied are those who have never seen Me and yet have believed and adhered to and trusted and relied on Me.

Consider this Paula. Maybe Jesus is leading you to be blessed because you believe, trust and have faith without having the confirmation of your feelings!

I believe you are in a very important place in your spiritual walk with our Lord!

Peace be to you.

Arcturus

[Robin]

This scripture always comes to mind when I think of the desert I've been in for so many years. I hope it brings comfort to you also.

Isaiah 35
1The wilderness and the solitary place shall be glad for them; and the desert shall rejoice, and blossom as the rose.

2It shall blossom abundantly, and rejoice even with joy and singing: the glory of Lebanon shall be given unto it, the excellency of Carmel and Sharon, they shall see the glory of the LORD, and the excellency of our God.

3Strengthen ye the weak hands, and confirm the feeble knees.

4Say to them that are of a fearful heart, Be strong, fear not: behold, your God will come with vengeance, even God with a recompence; he will come and save you.

5Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, and the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped.

6Then shall the lame man leap as an hart, and the tongue of the dumb sing: for in the wilderness shall waters break out, and streams in the desert.

7And the parched ground shall become a pool, and the thirsty land springs of water: in the habitation of dragons, where each lay, shall be grass with reeds and rushes.

8And an highway shall be there, and a way, and it shall be called The way of holiness; the unclean shall not pass over it; but it shall be for those: the wayfaring men, though fools, shall not err therein.

9No lion shall be there, nor any ravenous beast shall go up thereon, it shall not be found there; but the redeemed shall walk there:

10And the ransomed of the LORD shall return, and come to Zion with songs and everlasting joy upon their heads: they shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.

[Kat]

Hi Paula,

You have a tremendous responsiblity with 5 young children, to homeschool and take care of all the nessecary household duties.  And of course you also want to teach your children the truth.  Maybe you could bring them all together at a certain time each day, to read Bible stories, with your own added understanding as needed.  You can't expect to always see the benefits of this, but you can't always tell what those little minds are picking up.  After lunch may be good for this, as the younger one may decide to nap 
I feel it is vital that you find time for Bible study and pray.  If you have not yet read all of BT articles, I would suggest to use this as a source of Bible study.  There are so many important Bible principles you need, that it will give you a great base of understanding that will help you.  I have found that reading the articles have opened my eyes to spiritual understanding that I was not able to gain by my own studies.  And now I have gained enought understanding, that I can now apply it to my own studies, and I am amazed at what I can 'see'. 
I must say that I have to stay in the Word to feel this spiritual oneness with Christ.  When I involve myself with other things, I began to feel the closeness fade, but it returns when I return to the Word.
I pray your heart may be encouraged.

Col 2:2  that their hearts may be encouraged as they are knit together in love, to have all the riches of assured understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery, of Christ,
Col 2:3  in whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

mercy, peace, and love
Kat

[GODSown1]

Hi Paula,
           Wow!! I hear & Feel for U sister, & ur probably goin yep & now wot? lol!, But! personally! I know that feeln wen GOD seems so far from U & yet U are doing everything righteously! well as much as Possible, I just know!! U are to Keep! ur Faith!, just talk with HIM always, every second, every minute, every week, every month, every year & with everybody U talk to about HIM & ur experiences HES given & wot HES did for U & ur family.I garuntee U, U will feel HIS AwesuM!! Presence around always again, & Keep PRAISING!! HIS name, Worshipping!! HIS lyrics constantly, Play CDs, read the Word! even when U dont feel like it (seems to be the Best time) lol!, muchLOVE!! to U Paula from the bottom of my Heart n JESUS! mighty!, Glorious!, Amazing! name Amen! & Amen!

[PKnowler]

You all have blessed me so much with your care and concern! Thank you! 

Now that I have shared my burden with you all it seems so trivial as though I am whining and complaining. Isn't that strange! I have had this burden for a long time and now that I share it with you all I no longer feel it. The answer seems so simple as though I can answer my own question as an observer. I am overjoyed that you all have helped me carry my burden for I'm no longer carrying it alone, therefore I no longer feel as I felt. Does that make sense? Who knew the answer would come from sharing my pain? 

I would like to give response to you all.

Jackie Lee I love your suggestion! Let them go to church so I can have some quite time. Yeah! But my husband doesn't like to go to church without me. It is very difficult for him to handle all the children himself. I don't think he would even go by himself without the kids- but that is his choice. 

Dwight I am very comforted by your brotherly love and fellowship. Thank you for being real and sharing your trials with us as well. You and your family are in my prayers. I too am very blessed by this fellowship and consider it my family. 

Lisa, thank you for thinking of me as a happy person. I am happy. I just know that I've lost something in my relationship with the Lord and want it back and I believe He is going to restore it. 

Susan it was nice talking to you last night. Maybe one day we can meet. (In this life! ) I thought I should clarify that! Ha ha 

Anne, I tried to call you yesterday but you gave me the wrong number. Susan gave me the right number. I will give you both a call sometime. Thanks! I hope you get to feeling better. Susan said you had bronchitis. You are in my prayers! 

Arcturus, thank you for reminding me that he will not leave us or forsake us. I'm not sure what you meant by "It must be really rough on you to know you are not fed by Mystery Babylon." Was that a sarcastic statement? "....and to think that the sheep are still fellowshipping there and they haven't a clue that they are in the wolves den." God has not given me a burden for the sheep in Babylon. Does that sound selfish? I know that I can't change anyone's mind about what they believe. I would be happy to share with someone who was searching or open to hear spiritual truths though. 

Hey Sandie, you wrote: (1Co 15:19)  If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable. I felt this meant we are miserable  (in the carnal), because we only want things of Him. Yes, we long for him and die to ourselves in this life with the blessed hope of eternity with Christ and if we only have hope is in this life we would be most miserable. Thanks for sharing! 

Craig, I appreciate your suggestion: One thing that perhaps we could be doing is going out into the world and trying new things. Volunteering, with our families at hospitals, seniors centers, food pantry's, schools, etc.  We are now the salt of the earth and by going out into the world we can show something different in us. I would like to do that someday but I have little children now and my responsibility is to them first. I don't know perhaps God will show me something I can do now to be a service to others. I am open to His leading.  I do think that helping others is not only God's plan for His people but it takes us out of our self-centeredness. Great Suggestion! 

Joe, I appreciate the scriptures you shared. Thank you! May God show me how I can help those that are in need around me, those that are hungry, thirsty, homeless, naked, and sick or in prison. I don't know if anyone has seen the movie "The Pursuit of Happiness" but I highly recommend it! It gave me compassion and desire to help those in need and homeless. Not all of them are there because they are alcoholics and drug users.

Joe, that was a very interesting scripture in Hebrews 13. I see this scripture is a nugget loaded with spiritual meaning. I looked it up in e-sword parallel to see it in different versions. Jesus suffered "outside the gate" and we are to go to Him "outside the camp". 14 For here we have no fixed resting-place, but our search is for the one which is to come. I see Babylon, as a resting place and this is another admonition to come out. Thanks for sharing this Joe! 

Hey Rene, thanks for sharing the chapter of scripture from Deuteronomy 8 about wandering in the wilderness. 3  So He humbled you, allowed you to hunger, and fed you with manna which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man shall not live by bread alone; but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the LORD. What a wonderful scripture! There is a purpose to our hunger! 16 who fed you in the wilderness with manna, which your fathers did not know, that He might humble you and that He might test you, to do you good in the end— Praise God! 

[hebrewroots98]

Praise God Paula!!! (the prayers of the righteous avails much.)   I am so glad to hear this good news from you today!  God is the changer of hearts and HE has done something special in you even since we spoke just last night!  (Baruch HaShem)    I know that you will be smiling more than ever now.   

It would be great to to talk to ya soon, (especially in person )

Blessings and Shalom,
Susan

[PKnowler]

Arcturus, thanks for pointing out that it wasn't for Queen Esther to decide when to approach the King but it was when He choose to see her and it was out of his mercy that she was not executed for approaching unannounced. It is all about God and His sovereignty. It reminds me that while we are to work out our salvation with fear and trembling  "13  it is God who is the cause of your desires and of your acts, for his good pleasure." Phil 2:13 BBE version

Arcturus you've misunderstood me, I wasn't talking about: the easy delights of waves of exaltation and ecstasy when being swept up in massive praise and worship experiences. Like being at a base ball match. The enthusiasm of mass emotion is transferable, palpable and easy to get caught up in! But then we grow up. We notice it does not last. Like the last fix...we need more. Jesus knows this.

I am talking about the Joy of the Lord, a fruit of the Spirit, it's not dependent on circumstances and it is abiding, it doesn't fade away!

Gal 5:22 - Show Context
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

Psalms 16:11
    You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Neh 8:10
    Nehemiah said, "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."

Acts 2:28
You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.

Matt 13:44
"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.

John 15:11
"These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full..

John 16:22 -
So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.

John 16:24
Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.

John 17:13
"I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them.

Rom 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

2 Cor 7:4
I have great confidence in you; I take great pride in you. I am greatly encouraged; in all our troubles my joy knows no bounds.

2 Cor 8:2
Out of the most severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity.

1 Th 2:20
Indeed, you are our glory and joy.

James 1:2
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,

1 Pet 1:8
Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,

Heb 12:2
    Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.


I realize now that while I have joy, my lack of abiding joy is a symptom of a problem much like how a fever tells you that your sick.

Rene helped me to see this with the scripture in Deut 8:3 Yes, he humbled you by letting you go hungry and then feeding you with manna, a food previously unknown to you and your ancestors. He did it to teach you that people need more than bread for their life; real life comes by feeding on every word of the LORD. He let me go hungry! Hunger is painful if it is not feed.

Mt 5:6
    Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Psalms 42:1
    As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.

God has cause me to be discontent so I would hunger for more of Him and He will feed me manna from heaven! Praise God!

I want to be what John Piper calls a Christian Hedonist- pursuing God for the pleasure that is in God and His presence. "He is the end of our search, not the means to some further end. Our exceeding joy is He, the Lord - not the streets of gold or the reunion with relatives or any blessing of heaven. Christian hedonism does not reduce God to a key that unlocks a treasure chest of gold and silver." Quote from Desiring God Rather, He is our treasure! He is the pearl of great value!

Psalm 73

  25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
       And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
       but God is the strength of my heart
       and my portion forever.

The chief end of man is to glorify God, and to enjoy Him forever.

My joy is full and my cup runneth over as I write this.

Bless you!
~Paula