Day to Day Observations......

[hillsbororiver]

 Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Pardon my driving, I am reloading.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how living remains so popular?

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial costs and blamed it on the high cost of living.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

You can't have everything, where would you put it?

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

Shin: A device for finding furniture

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

[hillsbororiver]

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you.  Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure.  ~Murphy's Law

A bargain is something you can't use at a price you can't resist.  ~Franklin P. Jones

It's always been and always will be the same in the world:  The horse does the work and the coachman is tipped.  ~Author Unknown

If you wonder where your child left his roller skates, try walking around the house in the dark.  ~Leopold Fechtner

Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.  ~Author Unknown

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.  ~Author Unknown

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.  ~Author Unknown

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.  ~Author Unknown

If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered.  ~Edgar Allan Poe

People who snore always fall asleep first.  ~Author Unknown

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.  ~Author Unknown

[YellowStone]

Joe,

These are just to funny and too true!! 

I'm not sure wher you found them, but thanks for posting

[hebrewroots98]

Thanks for sharing.    

[rrammfcitktturjsp]

Joe,

  In a sick way these were very funny.  I could relate to the one about where the child left his roller skates, only now it's baby toys.  All I have to do to find them, it to turn out the lights and walk around.  That was pretty funny.  Thanks for sharing.

  Sincerely,



  Anne C. McGuire

[iris]

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 
One way or another, their going to take your money!

   


Iris