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Author Topic: Some Questions, Need Answers  (Read 5770 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

hillsbororiver

  • Guest
Some Questions, Need Answers
« on: May 06, 2007, 01:09:31 PM »


A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station...

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
 
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
 
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
 
If a deaf person swears in sign language, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

Why isn't there a mouse-flavored cat food?
 
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
 
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
 
What was the best thing before sliced bread?

If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?

Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?

Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them?

Why when people ask "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT"

Why is it that people duck in the rain, do they really think the rain won't hit them?

If you dig a hole in the south pole are you digging up or down?


Any and all answers will be greatly appreciated;

Joe
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YellowStone

  • Guest
Re: Some Questions, Need Answers
« Reply #1 on: May 06, 2007, 01:45:05 PM »

An excellent start to the start of a wondeful week.

Laughter is indeed healing :)

Thanks Joe,

Darren
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hebrewroots98

  • Guest
Re: Some Questions, Need Answers
« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2007, 01:34:43 PM »

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Thanks Joe!
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PKnowler

  • Guest
Re: Some Questions, Need Answers
« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2007, 02:02:51 PM »

That was very funny Joe! Thanks for the laugh.
We can always count on you to brighten our day. :D

~Paula  :)
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hillsbororiver

  • Guest
Re: Some Questions, Need Answers
« Reply #4 on: May 07, 2007, 02:58:54 PM »

Thank you Darren, Susan & Paula!

I am very glad you got a chuckle or two.  ;D

Joe
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mrsnacks

  • Guest
Re: Some Questions, Need Answers
« Reply #5 on: May 07, 2007, 03:58:53 PM »

I will answer a few for you :

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Sliced gravy or

mouse flavored cat food.


Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
 
So they won't die before their time or
its is just part of the uniform.


Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

I don't thin some think something new will materialize. We just have to return to the fridge to make sure that we didn't miss anything. LIke doing a double take.
For others it is an exercise of faith. Maybe God will do a miracle. Sort of like finding the coin in the fish when we are so sure there isn't a coin there.




 
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hillsbororiver

  • Guest
Re: Some Questions, Need Answers
« Reply #6 on: May 07, 2007, 04:32:38 PM »

LOL  :D



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dogcombat

  • Guest
Re: Some Questions, Need Answers
« Reply #7 on: May 07, 2007, 05:47:25 PM »

bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station...
But does the station work?

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
That's because they're fractured to start with
 
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
Sexy
 
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
No, send them to Jenny Craig.  Shedding useless weight ;)

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
No, he's at peace ;)
 
If a deaf person swears in sign language, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
Actually, she should wash his ears in order to get to his brain

Why isn't there a mouse-flavored cat food?
Aww Rats!! How would I know? 

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
Simple, That's just in case the blind go driving at night

 
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
So their heads could be researched later on for no apparant reason

What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Made bread

If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?
You mean like the Batcave?

Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?
Because we tend to knock it off when it rings.

Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on?
Only if they work in security

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
So that they'll remember to check it once they get married

Could someone be addicted to counseling? Yes
If so, how would you treat them? With Contempt

Why when people ask "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT"
Because they enjoy having all that space to themselves. If they're folks who annoy you, why WOULD you want them to leave?

Why is it that people duck in the rain, do they really think the rain won't hit them?
Because they do it to get qwacked up

If you dig a hole in the south pole are you digging up or down?
Actually, You're a statue


Any and all answers will be greatly appreciated;
Did I win Joe huh?huh?huhdidIdidIhuh?.  I do'd it good huhJoe?
Joe

Ches
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mrsnacks

  • Guest
Re: Some Questions, Need Answers
« Reply #8 on: May 07, 2007, 06:05:29 PM »


Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

Let's  send those five people to Jenny Craig.  Shedding useless weight Wink
 

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

No, he's sexy

 
If a deaf person swears in sign language, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

Aww Rats!! How would I know?



Why isn't there a mouse-flavored cat food?

Simple, That's just in case the blind go driving at night


Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Because we tend to knock it off when it rings.

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hillsbororiver

  • Guest
Re: Some Questions, Need Answers
« Reply #9 on: May 07, 2007, 06:07:16 PM »

bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station...
But does the station work?

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
That's because they're fractured to start with
 
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
Sexy
 
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
No, send them to Jenny Craig.  Shedding useless weight ;)

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
No, he's at peace ;)
 
If a deaf person swears in sign language, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
Actually, she should wash his ears in order to get to his brain

Why isn't there a mouse-flavored cat food?
Aww Rats!! How would I know? 

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
Simple, That's just in case the blind go driving at night

 
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
So their heads could be researched later on for no apparant reason

What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Made bread

If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?
You mean like the Batcave?

Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?
Because we tend to knock it off when it rings.

Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on?
Only if they work in security

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
So that they'll remember to check it once they get married

Could someone be addicted to counseling? Yes
If so, how would you treat them? With Contempt

Why when people ask "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT"
Because they enjoy having all that space to themselves. If they're folks who annoy you, why WOULD you want them to leave?

Why is it that people duck in the rain, do they really think the rain won't hit them?
Because they do it to get qwacked up

If you dig a hole in the south pole are you digging up or down?
Actually, You're a statue


Any and all answers will be greatly appreciated;
Did I win Joe huh?huh?huhdidIdidIhuh?.  I do'd it good huhJoe?
Joe

Ches

   WE HAVE A WINNER!   ;D              ;D                           ;D  WE HAVE A WINNER!
  ;D                      ;D                    WE HAVE A WINNER!                                                            ;D

Great answers Ches!


Your prizes are a years supply of mouse flavored cat food and a membership in The Hair Club For Men!


Thank you,

Joe
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hillsbororiver

  • Guest
Re: Some Questions, Need Answers
« Reply #10 on: May 07, 2007, 06:09:21 PM »

mrsnacks,

Your answers got my head spinning  :o

Thanks but Ches is still the winner  8)

Joe
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dogcombat

  • Guest
Re: Some Questions, Need Answers
« Reply #11 on: May 07, 2007, 06:51:51 PM »

YaaaaaaaaHoooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!
I WON I WON I WON.


Ches
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iris

  • Guest
Re: Some Questions, Need Answers
« Reply #12 on: May 07, 2007, 09:46:47 PM »

Good show!!! Fuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnny!!!




Iris
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hillsbororiver

  • Guest
Re: Some Questions, Need Answers
« Reply #13 on: May 07, 2007, 10:57:28 PM »

You have the best smiley's Iris!

Joe
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mrsnacks

  • Guest
Re: Some Questions, Need Answers
« Reply #14 on: May 08, 2007, 02:50:44 AM »

Hey now. I thought my sliced gravy was the knockout punch.  :'(
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hillsbororiver

  • Guest
Re: Some Questions, Need Answers
« Reply #15 on: May 08, 2007, 09:09:36 AM »

That was a knockdown but Ches got up before the count reached 10, so he won on points.

The consolation prize is..........................  you guessed it, A YEAR SUPPLY OF SLICED GRAVY!



        ;)            CONGRATULATIONS                                      :D                                                         CONGRATULATIONS
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Deborah-Leigh

  • Guest
Re: Some Questions, Need Answers
« Reply #16 on: May 08, 2007, 04:58:12 PM »


Too cute...great fun! Thanks :D ;D
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mrsnacks

  • Guest
Re: Some Questions, Need Answers
« Reply #17 on: May 08, 2007, 09:13:24 PM »

He didn't get up after the knockdown - he was resurrected from the dead and walked among us .That doesn't count.  :'(
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hillsbororiver

  • Guest
Re: Some Questions, Need Answers
« Reply #18 on: May 08, 2007, 09:18:06 PM »

LOL!  :D
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